To ask about your work/childcare situation

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I've been wfh since 2020 and I'm thinking of having a change. The perks and flexibility are fabulous. However it's done nothing for my mental and physical health. The weight has piled on, I live in holey leggings and I rarely see another adult in a professional capacity. I always thought working from home would be the dream but it's wearing thin after nearly 4 years. I'm lonely and bored.

The one major perk is being here for my dc. I've been able to do the school run, skimp a bit on nursery costs by having my youngest home with me on one of my working days (boss aware of this and very easy going providing my work gets done) and been able to attend most school commitments without having to juggle or mess about like my office based mum friends do.

So I guess I feel selfish about thinking of going back into the office because I wouldn't be as present for dc. I'd have to put my youngest in nursery for at least another day and probably rely on family to help a bit too. I'd still only be working three days so I'd get two days off to be at home. And weekends too.

What are your dc ages and how many hours do you work? And if they are little how do you manage childcare? I've got myself in such a bubble of home working that I've forgotten that other people have to navigate this stuff (doctors appointments, sick days, school assemblies) and mostly seem to manage it.

2 children aged 4 and 8, work 2 days a week 9-5, kids now in school and go to childminder before and after school and during holidays. 4 year old previously went to nursery. I would go for something you find more fulfilling work wise and just put the toddler in nursery for a 3rd day rather than burdening family. A lot of good employers are quite flexible when comes to special events etc

Your job sounds ideal while your kids are small.

I work school hours in an office 9-3. No option to WFH but would prefer a hybrid role.
Holidays are expensive as they go to a kids club with the odd days help from family and I spread out my annual leave as and when I can but am a single parent so it doesn’t go far.

We managed when the dc were little by both parents having a flexible working arrangement - dp worked compressed hours over four days a week, I worked compressed hours over 3 days a week including the weekend.

Now the dc older (10 and 12) we both do a mixture of wfh and office, with a Sunday meeting to identify any problems.

1 DC 3yo, I work 5in4 (generally 10-12 hours on working days) with minimum 2 days in office. DH 5 days with on average 1 WFH per week. both fairly high pressure senior roles. I am also expected to make time for travel approx 1 euro trip per month.

new plan to balance it all is one of us does both nursery drop and pick up, while other has evening to do whatever (usually work but maybe also exercise/go out etc) and then alternate back and forth. Let’s see.
were asking for more and more support from grandparents following uptick in work intensity, and finding my 5in4 just means 5 really long days but not much I can do.

no idea how we will manage school, a second child seems impossible. Genuinely thinking of moving to a country where full time domestic help is available and/or less intense work hours are expected….

I do 30 hours over 4 days. Wfh maybe one day per week, depending what's on. Can juggle diary to attend some school stuff, but some I do have to miss, especially when they only give a few days notice. I'm a lone parent with no family support. DD is 8 so thankfully the very expensive nursery days are behind us - she does breakfast and after school club on my working days. I'll probably go back to full time once she's in secondary unless finances dictate I have to do it sooner

I work full time Monday to friday, two days in the office 3 from home. My partner works full time hours over 4 days thursday to Sunday. Because my partner is off Monday to Wednesday we don't need childcare on those days, he works a longer day on a Thursday so she's in nursery 10-6pm, and Friday he doesn't start until the afternoon so she's in nursery 1-6pm. Obviously this means we don't ever have a day off all together unless someone has a day off but we save a lot on childcare. Working from home 3 days a week does mean that on my lunch break I am able to spend time with them and I quite often finish at 4pm. I do have the flexibility to go in more if I need/ want to though, and I think if I didn't go in twice a week I would go stir crazy. Previously I worked in a different job full time hours over 4 days all office based and felt like this was too much time away.

Forgot to add, DD is 20 months though so no school to think about, I think once she is in school we will have to rethink as with DP's schedule he wouldn't see her a lot with working weekends. I would gladly drop my hours tbh but I took quite a big drop in pay for a better work life balance so can't really afford to drop my hours.

I work 22.5 hours a week over 3 days. I drop DS at school then cycle to work. He goes to a CM after school one day a week and MIL the other 2 days.
DH takes DS to school on Wednesdays so I can swim.
I WFH one day a week. I can change that if I need to be flexible for school stuff.

2&6 year old. I work 28 hours over 5 days now so I'm around after school, juggling childminder and after school was a bit of a headache. Youngest has just started going to childcare more (4.5 days a week) allowing me to spread my hours differently. I'm hoping this setup will see us through primary now.

It does sound like you would need the third day of nursery if you took the new job.

Your current set up is like a dream for most working parents tbh, and you're saving an absolute fortune on childcare, so I'd think very carefully about moving. Maybe down the line when they're both in school and you'd only need to pay for holiday clubs?

When mine were young, I was in the office 3-4 days a week. I paid for full time childcare, in nursery then with childminder and holiday club. Now I WFH 4 days and no long pays for childcare. I much prefer WFH because it's easier to do school pick up and drop off, and be there for clubs after school. It actually gets harder to juggle when they get older. DC now does music after school and DH and I have to drive them to their music teacher and also to ensemble practice. It's the same if they do sports. Childminder doesn't pick up even if it's after school at the school itself because she only does one school run at 3.30.

What I'm saying is I won't move unless it's at most 1 day in the office.

2 children aged 5 and 3. I work 2 days in the week plus the weekend. DH is off the 2 days I work in the week (when I go into the office) and then the weekend I wfh with them

6 year old

Went back to ft (35h/park) from pt (28h) earlier in the year. She is picked up and given tea by my mum 2 days a week which has been the case ever since she went to pre school at 3. One day she has cookery club until 5-15 (her choice) and one day she has to go to late school (wouldn’t be her choice but accepts it) So it’s just the other day that’s problematic and she goes to rainbows 5-6 so I just have to start and finish early sometimes and other weeks my husband does the same. One of us is always available to drop her off. I work from home 3 days and in the office 2.

I have 2 primary aged DC and both me a d DH work full time. He works fully from home and I have a hybrid model which is usually two days a week in the office but it's based on need so sometimes I more, sometimes I travel,and sometimes I don't go in. My boss is great in flexibility though so I am fine to miss a bit of work for things like assemblies or school plays etc as long as I deliver to deadline.

I have found I am fitter than when I worked full time in the office. Main reason is it was in a location you could only drive to and nothing nearby and my commute was an hour each way so I had much less time. Now WFH days I walk the school runs, get some housework done before school and on breaks and so have time to exercise in the evenings if needed. I think I would struggle with motivation if fully WFH so hybrid works for me.

Totally agree it is like a dream and that's why I've stuck at it for so long. But the work itself is mind numbing and the novelty of home working wore off a long time ago. I find it uninspiring and dull now. But obviously the perk of being around for the dc has taken priority.

My new employer has actually said they can be flexible so even though I will predominantly be in the office, there is an option to wfh if needed. I didn't think this would be the case to begin with so it's a relief.