To go running alone at night in the park

[MamaGhina]

YABU - why on earth would anyone think this is ok
YANBU - anyone should be able to run at night alone

Have been running in the evening in my local park. It’s a London borough, fairly safe but the park has no lighting and a number of exits and entrances. Impossible to see who else is in the park. I take a torch mainly so I don’t get tangled in any dog walkers leads but generally the park is quiet at night. The torch means my location is obvious to anyone else in the park and obvious I am alone.

Every single person I have told that I do this is surprised, says I am mad or it’s dangerous. That I shouldn’t run alone, I need to find someone to run with or run during the day. I don’t want to run during the day because the park is busy, I end up bumping into loads of people I know and I just want to get on with my run. It’s not always convenient to go during the day, then shower, do hair etc. I prefer to run at night and then shower, get ready for bed. I don’t want to find someone to run with, have to wait for them, meet them, make chit chat etc I want to run to my own schedule.

FWIW I’m female, fairly small, mid 40s.

I have been sexually harassed more times than I can recall, groped twice, been in situations where I felt unsafe but nothing came of it - all the standard stuff for a woman, sadly. That doesn't change my decision that the risk of being attacked while running at night is very low and outweighed by the benefits.

I have had periods in my life of severe, clinical anxiety which included suicidal ideation and as a result have had extensive therapy including CBT. Because of this I feel very passionately that my priority is making logic-based decisions and not allowing anxiety alone to determine them. I particularly want to model that to my children as, sadly, statistically my odds of passing on clinical anxiety are high and I want to do all that is in my power to avoid that. I do find that this makes me less risk-averse than most women I know, and significantly less so than most posters on MN. I feel comfortable with that!

I would be fine with this, I don’t do exactly the same as I don’t live in a london borough but I regularly walk and run before dawn or after dark in the fields, moor and footpaths and towpaths around where I live.

I’m not saying I don’t sometimes feel nervous because sometimes I do, mainly worry about ankle breakers and unexpected bogs but occasionally it’s an awkward encounter with someone and it can put you on edge. But I do it anyway because the alternative to me is way worse. (Being trapped at home, which has risks of its own)

I do feel that the risks are overstated yes. That is, I feel that the risks of being out in daylight or as a duo/group are under-stated, the risks of being at home, alone or with friends and family, are under-stated. Rather than the risks of being out alone at night are overstated.

Yes, I have been attacked by strangers before. On a footpath in the daytime, on a busy main road in the daytime, on a bus at nighttime, in a taxi AND in and around my own home.

@wheresmymojo sorry, I just saw your second post.

I’ve never been attacked by a stranger, no. I was in a bad relationship for a long time and was used to being told I couldn’t do x or y. I have friends who are too scared to walk home from the pub alone or who won’t go into central London because they are too afraid. I don’t want to live like that …. but also appreciate the need for balance.

No I haven't. I've been attacked by a partner in my own home but never a stranger. Stranger attacks are rare. I've never been frightened walking in the dark alone. I've been scared several times in pubs though so I avoid those.

I’ve been attacked by a stranger in the street (in London) and have come across multiple flashers.

Having said that I'm over 50, wear glasses and I certainly don't look attractive running! I don't have any fancy gear on display either (phone concealed etc).

I'm not sure what you look like has any bearing on whether you're likely to be raped or attacked. I know I don't look attractive or glamorous when running, but I don't feel that's any protection.
(I never even take a phone when I run)

Agree with this.
Whats the point of posting

OP very obviously this is unsafe. Yes you ‘should’ be able to do this but sadly it’s dangerous for a woman to be alone anywhere isolated at night. You know that. If you still want to do it however, of course you go for it.

Okay, I think this makes sense.

I've been attacked multiple times by strangers in all sorts of circumstances (not just in the dark, or alone).

So obviously my sense of the 'risk' will be different to someone with a different experience.

I don't like to alter how I live to take account of this - hence I'd still walk/run in the dark in most circumstances but an unlit park or forest would be one I wouldn't do.

That's as much because it wouldn't be an enjoyable experience for me as anything as I'd be constantly 'on alert' which is quite stressful.

Of course anyone should be able to go anywhere alone at any time of day, but unfortunately the world we live in isn't like that and I think it's very very foolish and unsafe to be alone in a park after dark.

I agree with PP also. Attractiveness and age have much less correlation with attacks than people think.

I have absolutely no problem with going out walking when it's dark, but running through parks with no lighting sounds bonkers, I'd be more worried about falling flat on my face than anything else! 😂

Everything has risk attached though. You might as well ask someone walking on a pavement in broad daylight, have they not heard of people getting killed when a car veers off the road. The chances of something happening to OP are very low - I'm sure that running in a park at night is no riskier than many behaviours that people think are completely normal.

So YANBU, I run at night, not in my local park because it gets locked at dusk, but otherwise I would.

I think you are mad, but I’m so sad and so very angry that I think that.

What a world us women live in

If you're alone in a park, you're really pretty safe from being attacked. :)

I can see why being in the park after dark is perceived as being more dangerous. I'm not sure that this is actually born out by facts. I think it's fairly unlikely that someone hangs out in a park on the off chance that a lone woman might run past. On the other hand groping , flashing and making sexually abuse innuendoes to women can and does happen in broad daylight. Stabbings happen in busy areas during the day.

As OP says, unfortunately life is inherently full of risks. You have to choose which ones you are prepared to take.
It sounds like OP's park is not well lit, which would put me off (but as much because I'd be likely to trip as worrying about attacks). If she's risk assessed and is happy to take the risk, that's up to her. As I said, night is not synonymous to dangerous.

Personally I am happy running round the park in the daytime and on streetlit streets at night. I'm pretty lax about safety tbh. I live in Manchester and run regularly at night and stick to fairly main roads for most of my run. As its lit I can see who/what is coming up. Personally I wouldn't feel safe running around a dark park with a torch, as you can't see if you are running into a dodgy situation. Could you run on the roads instead or is this not an option? But ultimately its your life and you can take the risks you want to! I horse ride and ski, they are both pretty risky but for me the benefit outweighs the risk.

I'm at work all day, it's dark when I get home.

I'm autistic, I don't have friends, and I don't want to have to speed match to someone else.

I'm autistic, I can't cope with the lights and noise of a gym and I've been harassed by gym bros.

50% of rapists are a current or former partner. Over 80% are someone you already know. Only 14% are strangers.

Yet that white van man still rattled me.

Why don't we curfew men, ban them from parks at night?

I always ran alone and I run when I want . You can't live the life worrying you're going to be attacked , be sensible, carry a whistle or attack alarm , and enjoy your run .

You should be able to do this safely, but I wouldn’t.
there is a park near us which is partly lit and I do sometimes run through the lit bit at night but I’m not keen on it

I regularly run on unlit country roads and when I lived in a city would run in the dark through the streets, through nature reserves, golf courses, on towpaths etc. I wouldn't run the same route regularly or be in the same places at the same times, though, and I think it's the predictability that's risky. I probably wouldn't have regularly run round the same unlit park, as people could notice and wait for you. I used to run quite fast, so didn't mind running through dodgy areas of town as by the time a would-be-attacker had noticed me I'd have been halfway down the road.

You should be able to but unfortunately it's not safe.

I run alone at night. My local park (huge, varied landscape) annoyingly closes when it gets properly dark (which actually annoys me because it means I have to run on the pavements in winter when I'd much prefer to run in the park, and I personally feel safer in the park than on the street). But I certainly run in the park when it's almost dark and the park is almost empty.

There is some risk attached to everything. Every time you get into a car and drive somewhere, you are much more likely to be killed than you are by running after dark. I don't drive so that's one risk in my life that I've vastly reduced.

FWIW, on the occasions I've been violently or sexually assaulted, it's always been either during the day in a busy environment, in my own home at the hands of a partner, or from a customer in a place I was working. Mostly by men, but on some occasions by women.

I like being alone, and I like night time. The risk of getting attacked by a stranger in those circumstances is actually pretty low and I've assessed it rationally and on balance, I think the benefit to me outweighs the risk considerably. I'm an adult woman, not a child, and I can make informed decisions on my own behalf. It doesn't really matter to me what anyone else thinks about it.

Absolutely not.

It's odd how people don't think twice about driving to work despite the extremely common incidence of ambulances whizzing past to attend crashes.

Me too.

I used to run in the extensive grounds of a stately home and usually in daylight - but as summer turned to autumn, I'd be there after work and dusk arrived.

The last time I did so was when I rounded a path to find a man waiting for for me with his arms outstretched. Fortunately, I was able to outrun him and wasn't too far from the car park and my car.

It was terrifying - but at least I got away.