To go running alone at night in the park

[MamaGhina]

YABU - why on earth would anyone think this is ok
YANBU - anyone should be able to run at night alone

Have been running in the evening in my local park. It’s a London borough, fairly safe but the park has no lighting and a number of exits and entrances. Impossible to see who else is in the park. I take a torch mainly so I don’t get tangled in any dog walkers leads but generally the park is quiet at night. The torch means my location is obvious to anyone else in the park and obvious I am alone.

Every single person I have told that I do this is surprised, says I am mad or it’s dangerous. That I shouldn’t run alone, I need to find someone to run with or run during the day. I don’t want to run during the day because the park is busy, I end up bumping into loads of people I know and I just want to get on with my run. It’s not always convenient to go during the day, then shower, do hair etc. I prefer to run at night and then shower, get ready for bed. I don’t want to find someone to run with, have to wait for them, meet them, make chit chat etc I want to run to my own schedule.

FWIW I’m female, fairly small, mid 40s.

Given the number of road deaths/injuries, it's safer to run in the park than on the pavements. That's if you look at it purely from a statistical perspective. I'd personally find running in a park in the dark a bit unnerving, but if you're happy then do it.

A female runner was raped and killed near where I used to live.

I don't think this is about what we would like to do in magic dream world - this is about opportunistic predators using the fact you are vulnerable and in a dark place with no help available to you. It's common sense unless you somehow thing you are immune to being attacked.

Tbh doesn't sound like you are very streetwise. If people are saying it's dangerous it's not to try and spoil your fun.

I think it's dangerous too. It's a sad fact this just can't happen unfortunately, women aren't safe alone in a dark park. Do you wear headphones too? I know it's not right and it shouldn't be that way, but it is

I run in the dark, nighttime and early mornings, plenty of others seem to round my way. There are places I feel
safe to run, and places that I don’t, and I don’t have a set routine and routes, I don’t feel any more or less safe then running at other times. I don’t think it is a blanket yes or no thing.

The last time I would have felt safe to do that is in the 90s and even then I would have been nervous.

Well you should be able to do it. But I wouldn’t. I’m the same age as you, 6ft and built like a brick shithouse. Still I wouldn’t do it.

We have lots of rapists and attackers. I’ve sat in court and listened to this stuff - they rape because they want to and they can. They don’t give a fuck about any kind of education re not raping or any fucks about their victims.

"the park has no lighting and a number of exits and entrances. Impossible to see who else is in the park. I take a torch mainly so I don’t get tangled in any dog walkers leads but generally the park is quiet at night. The torch means my location is obvious to anyone else in the park and obvious I am alone."

Seriously?
If you had a daughter and she told you this what would you say to her?
This is not smart.

Up to you really, you're a grown adult who can choose to take risks.

Personally I run in 'common' parks where there are no fences so I know I can exit easily but not fenced in parks at night. Also, don't all the parks lock up at night near you? How late are we talking?

I don't run but I walk in the local woods in the dark, have done for years. I've only ever seen an occasional dog walker.

I exclusively run late at night or early in the winter mornings when it’s dark. I also walk late at night when it’s dark. It’s my favourite time to do it.
Never felt unsafe, much prefer it.
I walk in the daytime too but I wouldn’t think twice about my nighttime walks/runs.

I think you are not safe because the lighing is so bad.
I would ..
Never wear ear buds so you can always hear.
Take your phone with a tracker installed.
Wear a safety buzzer like old people wear that alerts someone immediately you push a button and that also emits a piercing police type siren.
Start a community running group where you are likely to meet a fellow night runner or two who accompany each other.
Look at arming yourself with an electronic animal prodder that you can give an attacker an electric shock with so that you can escape.
Likewise, arm yourself with a pepper or very smelly spray.
Run with a large dog.

Let someone know where and when you are running.
Learn some tips about how to call out to a nearby person if someone attacks you ie

"Rocco, come quickly, I'm over here!"
"Man in the red shorts, help!"

You're not unreasonable for thinking women should be able to do this without fear of being raped and killed.

I'm not going to tell you that you're unreasonable for going ahead and actually doing it despite the risk of being raped and/or killed because it's your life.

However, it would be far too much of a risk for me to take. TBH the whole thing would be spoilt for me because I'd spend the entire time on edge of my nerves and jumping at shadows.

Don't you feel any nerves or fear while you're out?

All I would say is - I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't advise it.

BUT...if you want to, it's your decision to make but perhaps consider these things...

• The worst thing you can do is make your routine predictable as this opens you up to a pre-meditated attack on top of opportunistic attacks

• Vary the time, route and park that you go to so there is no 'routine' that someone can plan on

• Is there someone, or a group you can use as a 'safety buddy' to let them know when you leave for your run, where you're going, and when they should get worried if you haven't told them you're back?

• Ideally give multiple people access to your 'Find my IPhone' or whatever

• Prepare what you would do if you were attacked. You need a plan in advance because you'll be so caught up in the freeze/flight/fight/fawn shock response that your brain will struggle if you don't

• Research what is best to do in the event of an attack to form your plan (for example screaming 'fire' is more useful than 'help')

• Make sure you understand the quickest and easiest way to call 999 on your phone. Most models have ways you can do this without all the shit of getting past the lock screen because when you're in shock / being attacked it isn't easy to put your passcode in

• Don't run with headphones on, they block out all noise that would give you a warning sign that something might be wrong

• ALWAYS trust your instincts. If you get to the park and suddenly feel a bit wary about entering even though it doesn't usually bother you...DO NOT PUSH PAST THIS FEELING. We pick up on many small signs that something might not be quite right that we may not be conscious of

• Consider some self-defence classes. You need to punch in a certain way to actually have any power behind it, and most women wouldn't automatically punch properly. Also they will teach you about the areas on an attacker that women can use to their advantage without brute strength

I run before or after work - it’s beginning to get darker at either time now - I run in my local West London park and don’t feel unsafe - as others have said you do you . My big black dog is 14 now so not as good a running partner although my ‘run ‘ is her fast trot .

Have you ever been attacked or been in a situation that's been threatening with a stranger before OP?

I'm interested as to why you don't have 'the fear'?

I also run after dark sometimes, get the same responses and ignore them. People are massively overstating the risk. The risk from not exercising is much, much higher but no one lectures people about that in the same way. But you won't convince people - there was another recent thread about this and people kept giving examples of women being attacked in the day or otherwise in entirely different circumstances as proof that the OP mustn't dog walk at night and apparently most of them couldn't see how completely illogical this was.

I fit the same demographic - runner, female, mid 40s and very small.
I mostly run alone and, as winter approaches running in the dark becomes inevitable, if I want yo run several times a week. However, boring as it is, I do tend to stay on streets with lights. Occassionally I might do a short stretch (by a main road) on an unlit path ....to get to another lit path or down a short alley where I can clearly see there is no one else there. I wouldn't run in the park though.
I know I should be able to but I'm not willing to risk it

You should be able to go anywhere in safety but the reality is this is not safe, and its not any safer if you are with a friend. I'm not trying to stop you running. But you should be aware that even if you take precautions like having a mobile phone in your hand and an alarm, that won't guarantee your safety.

Kind of depends on the exact park. I run in all the parks near me and there's a few I'd never run in the evenings. Finsbury Park for example, if I walk past of an evening the vibe is very different to 7am and personally I wouldn't feel safe. Highbury Fields on the other hand is fine, technically not a park I guess, but lots of people walking to and from tube so I don't feel unsafe. Although there's reports of lots of mobile phone snatchers around.

Having said that I'm over 50, wear glasses and I certainly don't look attractive running! I don't have any fancy gear on display either (phone concealed etc).
I agree that bad stuff can happen to anyone and not just in the dark, I don't know that I'd take unnecessary risks although it sucks not to be able to do what you want whenever you want.

Fwiw I think a poorly lit quiet park is a bad idea so if you want to run alone in the evening find somewhere busier or better lit. I also don't get your comment about day time, I see people I know when I run during the day and I wave at them as I run past. I certainly don't feel obliged to stop and chat!

I walk in the dark all the time and genuinely didn't realise how many women didn't until I came on mumsnet.

But I wouldn't in an unlit park.

Also to the PP's who feel the risks are overstated, have you ever been attacked by a stranger or felt an attack could be imminent?

This isn't leading to a criticism (none of my business), I'm just genuinely intrigued why you would feel that the risk is overstated...

And I would, and have, run in the dark on lit city or suburban streets.

I would also run on unlit streets in the sleepy village I live in.

I wouldn't run in an unlit park in a city.

I walk and run in the dark - I'm not sure how anyone gets anywhere/does anything between 4pm and 8.30am in the winter if they'd never walk in the dark?
However I also wouldn't walk or run (for any distance) in a fenced in Park

@southlondoner02 this is the thing, it’s not late. I put the DC to bed and go. I’m often out of the house before it’s dark but it’s dark before 8pm here.

@wheresmymojo thank you for taking the time to give that advice, rather then just tell me I’m stupid. I think I will stick to the roads which are well lit going forwards. It was the smoggy feeling running alongside the cars that was putting me off, whereas the air in the park feels much fresher. I feel freer there and can run without having the stop at every junction, traffic lights etc but I think the number of people saying it’s not worth the risk are right.

I think some people just drive everywhere.

I completely agree. I live/have lived very close to both of these parks and while I'd probably walk or cycle home via Highbury Fields there's absolutely no way I'd go into Finsbury Park or any other proper park after dark. It's fine for running during the day (though not my favourite in the area) but in the time I've lived nearby numerous women have been attacked there plus a woman's been murdered there.