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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be very annoyed at my French DH and MIL's very laidback attitude to the use of our house?

54 replies

aroomwithaperfectview · 17/09/2023 18:05

It's my first post and English isn't my first langage, please forgive my grammar.
My MIL turned up at our house last week as she usually does and just before leaving casually asked if, since we're away on October, would we mind having some people staying at our house. My DH said no problems at all but he did asked, afterwards, who those (these?) people were? My MIL mysteriously replied that she would let us know later.
Today, still a bit miffed about my DH's answer, I asked him if by now his mother had let him know more about this weird arrangement. I must say I'm not confortable at all having people stay in my house while we're away. Obviously I'm being akward, he doesn't know any more than me etc. , but will text his mother to ask, which he did. She answered saying she was coming back later today from one of her multiples holidays, will drop by our house to bring us some oysters and will then tell us all about it. My FIL will be present too but just goes with the flow.
Now, my MIL is very sociable (I'm an introvert). She loves nothing more than to throw big parties and telling her guests they can stay in our house for the night if needed which I've always acceped even though I don't like it at all. Not to drip feed, we already have a very good teacher friend who is staying with us on Sunday and Monday nights term time for practical reasons. This arrangement is for the whole school year then she will be able to retire. I did offer and DH went along, we're long time friends with both her and her DH.
Now, we both own our house, it's his mum, he has a large family, I've hardly anyone left. She's lovely, would do the same for us, not that I would ask.
I feel mean but I really resent her asking this kind of arrangement and resent my lovely DH for always saying yes, his argument being, well YOU can always refuse, I know but sick of always being the baddy. Have to go, apparently they're on their way.
Will reply later if someone is interested to find out who these (those) mysterious guests are.
By the way I'm French too but no time to edit my title or to reread this post.

OP posts:
Somethingintheloft · 21/01/2024 07:48

Also, the fact yiur friend stays is irrelevant. You are allowed to have to stay who you wish. Not who MIL wishes.

Well done for standing up!

olympicsrock · 21/01/2024 07:52

Thank goodness that you have the opportunity to put a stop to this crazy plan. I think you and DH together need to speak to MIL and and tell her your boundaries. No strangers staying in your house EVER.

quisensoucie · 21/01/2024 07:52

You written english is amazing!
Better than many, including mine!

ReflectiveRogue1001 · 21/01/2024 07:59

It utterly bewilders me when an OP talks about an event that is CLEARLY either in the past or way into the future, but posters respond as though it's happening now without feeling the need to check the date of the OP.

Bonkers

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