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Original poster

Did something embarrassing at work

35 replies

helpmeohgod · 16/09/2023 21:22

I’ve had a lot going on my personal life, I won’t bore everyone with it all but things have been really, really tough recently. I’ve focused on work and wouldn’t let it distract me but I had a meeting with my boss and basically broke down and admitted things have been bad and explained it all. She was absolutely lovely and was genuinely upset for me with what I had told her, but I feel so stupid now for doing that. I basically cried and trauma dumped everything on her and it was incredibly unprofessional and I really regret it. It all just seemed to come spilling out when she asked what was wrong. That was a few weeks ago and I still feel so embarrassed by it because I should have kept my problems separate from work etc

i don’t really know what I’m asking, but has anyone got any advice? I feel so mortified and annoyed at myself. My boss was lovely about it and we haven’t talked about it since thankfully but I regret dumping it all on her and mixing personal and work and I feel so embarrassed for basically crying and breaking down and I’m really struggling with his annoyed at myself I am

OP posts:
SiblingFights · 16/09/2023 21:25

I'm sorry you are having such a shit time. As a manager she is responsible for your wellbeing at work so nothing wrong with offloading to her Flowers

DustyLee123 · 16/09/2023 21:26

Don’t worry about it, I’ve cried to my manager too. It all gets forgotten. Don’t waste another day thinking about it, because she won’t be.

goldlamps · 16/09/2023 21:27

Hope you’re feeling better. You did the right thing by telling her and she sounds lovely.

Daffodil63 · 16/09/2023 21:27

Bless you-you are human. It happens, and sometimes it's better that the boss knows as she may be more understanding. I'm sure her life isn't perfect either and most likely had a moment like this at some point in her career. For all we know she could be thinking that you are doing marvellously considering the circumstances. Don't worry until you have something to worry about. Best of luck OP

Lavender14 · 16/09/2023 21:27

As a manager I would WANT the employees to come to me and tell me what's going on before it becomes an issue with their work. I think that shows good personal accountability and responsibility. You've nothing to be embarrassed by. You did the right thing and now you can make a plan together to help you manage in work and if you're finding things harder at least you've already informed her so she can support you and will understand. Yes it's good to keep things separate but you're only human at the end of the day and EVERYONE has a limit with their ability to do that.

Moltenpink · 16/09/2023 21:28

You can’t always keep things separate, you haven’t done anything to be embarrassed about. It’s good that your boss knows what the situation is, you are human and life isn’t perfect

mynameiscalypso · 16/09/2023 21:31

I did this to my ex-boss. He was really good about me (and at a later point did exactly the same to me). This was over 5 years ago now and although we both work in other companies now, we are still in touch and he's very much a mentor to me.

Pepperama · 16/09/2023 21:33

As a manager it’s good if I know what’s going on and I never thought it was unprofessional. People are human not robots. Managers too. The only thing that caused problems - once - is that an employee’s embarrassment created a really weird atmosphere and they were obviously uncomfortable. What’s helpful is if you can tell manager what to do with the info. Do you want them to take action in any way - make adjustments etc - or was it just so they know what’s up

MartinChuzzlewit · 16/09/2023 21:34

Ah OP, you broke down - you just happened to break down to someone who was lovely and understanding. I’d call that a win! Don’t be embarrassed. I always think it’s better when work is aware you’re struggling to outside influences, not just work influences

PaintBySticker · 16/09/2023 21:36

I’ve cried to my manager and I’ve had people cry to me. It’s ok xx

momonpurpose · 16/09/2023 21:39

I am a boss. I have been both you in the situation and the boss. I promise you it's OK. Sending hugs

TinaTeaspoons · 16/09/2023 21:40

You are a human being, not just an employee.
I think a lot of us have done this. Just last week, my colleague walked through the office sobbing and went into the office. All personal problems she was having at home. Nobody thought any less of her, of course not.
Don't be so hard on yourself x

Newgolddream70 · 16/09/2023 21:41

Please don't worry OP. My Mum went into a home during covid and it was incredibly stressful and traumatic. I was trying to hold everything together and one day, I just broke down to a colleague. I think I scared her a bit and she told my manager! I was mortified at the time but she was so supportive, as were all my bosses. They suggested I took some time off, as much as I needed, and I will be forever grateful to my manger for how she helped me. You are only human and I bet you at some point in someone's career, they will get upset/breakdown about a personal problem. I hope you feel better soon. Take care 💐

Boomboom22 · 16/09/2023 21:42

Your attitude about keeping it all separate is a bit unhealthy, it is actually a strength to recognise when you need to prioritize and take a break.

Greenshake · 16/09/2023 21:44

Really, don’t worry about it. I once walked across the office floor with my skirt tucked into my knickers and it was my (male) boss that pointed it out 😂😂

Sueretiredawhileago · 16/09/2023 21:44

I cried on my boss this week too as having a stressful time at home. Not embarrassed at all. Never would be. It’s just a human emotion. It doesn’t have to be kept hidden

BonnieBe · 16/09/2023 21:46

I am really sorry OP for your situation. I am going against the grain though. As a manager i think it’s important to be aware of people se going through something which will affect work in their personally life and I want to support and accommodate as much as I can. I absolutely do not want to know the details though. I am not a psychologist and don’t want to be dumped on.

Frozensun · 16/09/2023 21:49

I was a manager for 20 years. I knew so much about people’s personal lives. I had a number of people, including very stoic ones break down over all sorts of things. As a manager, you listen, you check in, you keep their confidence and then you let it go. An employee doesn’t leave their life at the door, and having some understanding of challenges helps a manager to support them in the workplace. Try not to be embarrassed - there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. When you’re in a better place (and if it’s warranted) consider a brief note/email to the manager saying thanks for listening. It’s pretty wonderful to know you helped a workmate!

Cowlover89 · 16/09/2023 21:53

YADNBU you've done nothing wrong. Hope you're okay x

Squirrelsnut · 16/09/2023 21:53

I've had several crying colleagues in my office over the years. It's really OK. We're all people.

ArseMenagerie · 16/09/2023 21:55

omg you’ve done nothing to be worried or ashamed about. You are a human - working with other humans and the world would be a better place if we were more open with one another. Try not to worry about it!

Sueretiredawhileago · 16/09/2023 21:55

I absolutely do not want to know the details though. I am not a psychologist and don’t want to be dumped on

@BonnieBe Jesus Christ are you human? The op didn’t plan to tell everything it just came out. Life happens

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 16/09/2023 22:01

Op you did nothing wrong. You are lucky to have such a kind and supportive boss. Mine is very much like that too. I don't think I've cried in front of her but I've offloaded to her and asked her opinion for something as she's been through similar to me. I'm sure my colleagues have told her about my breakdown in the office though and she's very good at knowing when we need support.

In fact, you posting this has given me the courage to go to her about something pretty important that's happening in my personal life that is quite likely to affect my work so thank you

Evaka · 16/09/2023 22:08

Nothing new to add, just agreeing with the PPs. I manage a large team, have had people cry to me, and a few weeks ago I cried in front of my own boss. He was kind and took pressure off me for a few weeks. All v human.

Summer2424 · 16/09/2023 22:11

Hi @helpmeohgod
Please don't feel embarrassed at all.
I've told things to my company director who found me crying (i was going through a really bad time in my personal life). It was in that moment that it felt good to get it out. Please just focus on yourself and i hope what you're going through gets better xx

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