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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it just me or is this job bloody awful? Not sure I want to go back.

57 replies

TAwo4 · 16/09/2023 17:29

I finished my second week on Friday. I've slept most of the day today.

I'm a TA supporting three children with SEN in a reception class, two aren't toilet trained and wear nappies.

Although I seem to be spending more time with the other reception children than with the three I'm supposed to be supporting.

I've already had to deal with a serious safeguarding situation with one child and yesterday a child accused me of hitting them. Thankfully they admitted very quickly they had made it up but I dread to think what would have happened other wise.

It's so intense, physically and mentally draining. I feel like I have no head space left when I leave at the end of the day. Nothing left to give my own child. No energy to cook or clean.

They pay itself is really poor.

My hours are 8:45 - 3:15 which causes issues with the school run for my own child who has ASD. I've been late to work every day since I started. There's no wrap around care at DC's school so my DC attends a few activity type clubs a couple of days of the week which he hates and the other days I'm scrambling around trying to find other parents to collect him and wait in the playground until I arrive.

People keep saying it will get easier but honestly, it really doesn't feel like it.

I take medication that makes me more tired than normal, I also have anxiety which I'm medicated for and ASD myself.

I love all the kids already and do enjoy the job but it is so intense and full on for very little pay.

OP posts:
Georgeandzippyzoo · 16/09/2023 17:41

I loved teaching, stayed st the school fir 16yrs because of the kids. I loved them but it was draining.
School jobs are great if you've got kids and good support/care before and after, you don't have to worry about holidays etc.
You could earn more working in a supermarket but you then have the hours and holidays to contend with.

Is there any chance of your child attending the school ? I think most of the TAs at DH school who have children, and some grandchildren , have them in the school.
Obviously not always suitable.

Is there a local childminder who could take pick up from school ie an hr?

LakieLady · 16/09/2023 17:44

Life's too short to stay in a job you hate.

Mrspimplepopper · 16/09/2023 17:44

Surely you knew the working hours would be hard with your own dc drop off/pickup before you took the job..

Sounds like a stressful job though... I couldn't do it

JoinInBetty · 16/09/2023 17:47

If you can't get to work on time or collect your child on time you need to ask to change your hours or find work that fits the hours you can do.If your not only the children you are meant to be on them you need to bring this up - are you a 1-1 TA or general TA there's a difference.

the pay was advertised and yiubsogned a contract if you've made a mistake hand your notice in.

as for the safeguarding issue it would have dealt with accordingly

JFDIYOLO · 16/09/2023 17:54

What led up to you choosing a job with the same hours as your child's schooling, knowing you'd have pick up duties to factor in?

Oysterbabe · 16/09/2023 17:56

Why on earth did you agree to do it with no plan on how you would manage the school run?

Woush · 16/09/2023 17:57

TA jobs don't pay enough to stick with it if you hate it.

You can usually find cleaning jobs that work around school hours.

YourNameGoesHere · 16/09/2023 18:00

Honestly most of your issues with the job sound like they were a known entity before you set foot in the classroom, the hours being unworkable and the pay etc.

If you're not enjoying it then absolutely you can leave but it does seem like you could foresee it being unworkable for you.

Tulipvase · 16/09/2023 18:05

I worked at my child’s school, that of course has its own issues but solved the pick up/drop off issues.

I’m also a TA in reception and it can be hard. We also have lots more children coming in with additional needs and due to the cuts, we just can’t afford additional staff. The beginning of term is always hard as the children are still
settling in.

Maybe give it another couple of weeks to see if things improve?

Bobadob18 · 16/09/2023 18:08

Ah I really feel for you. I have been doing an SEN role for 4 years now and it is really tough at times. I would try and give it a bit longer as it can be very rewarding and does take time to get to know the children you are working with and what works and doesn’t work etc. The first few weeks when I started I really didn’t enjoy it but over time things improved. I have worked with quite a few different children and it does depend on the child’s needs as to how demanding it can be. Is your teacher supportive? Do you have clear guidelines from the SENCO as to your role with the children? It sounds a bit unclear to me as you are employed to work with 3 children but have been working with the others in the class.

You could also speak to your line manager about your hours and see if they can change them. It sounds like a transition post where they have clumped the hours together so there might be movement in your hours. Good luck with whatever you decide to do

cansu · 16/09/2023 18:17

Get a different job. It isn't worth it. If the job has poor pay and does not fit in with your family circumstances, it is not worth it. The fact that it is also intense and stressful is just an added reason.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 16/09/2023 18:17

Apart from anything else, you don't have childcare for your own child. For that alone, you can't do this job, as it is not fair on him, any parent who happens to cross your path when you're desperate and certainly not on his school Reception staff who would otherwise be left with him until you turn up.

Fairydustxox · 16/09/2023 18:29

I'm also a TA in reception at the end of my second week in the job and it's a lot harder than I imagined! Mentally and physically, the kids are so demanding they don't listen you repeat yourself over and over. It's rewarding but there's so much to watch out for, the dos and donts etc. I'm counting down to the holidays, the weekends just aren't long enough to recuperate!

OriginalUsername2 · 16/09/2023 18:32

It will get easier when you have a plan! Sounds like you’re winging it?

scoobydoo1971 · 16/09/2023 18:32

Life is short, You could get a job in a supermarket on flexi-hours that pays better. you could do shifts that fit your school run needs. While you may have an interest in working with kids with SEN, your main reason for working is to provide money for your family. You can do that more efficiently elsewhere, and no one would blame you for running away from a badly organised school environment with terrible pay and conditions. Put you and your family first.

Original poster
TAwo4 · 16/09/2023 18:34

I had plans in place before I started for my DC before and after school. In reality, it hasn't worked out. Due to DCs ASD he can't tolerate anyone else doing pick up or drop off. Which, in hindsight, I should have anticipated.

I'm employed on a temporary high needs funding contract to support three SEN students in reception. But again, the reality is that the other children don't understand that I'm not there for them. Lots of them also seem to have some additional needs themselves that they aren't supported for yet. So the reality is that I'm trying to support three students with SEN while also being a general class TA.

The wage seemed fine until I started and realised just how intense and draining it would be not to mention the fact that I didn't even make it to week three before a child accused me of hitting them! It made me realise just how serious false allegations can be and now worry going forward about it happening again. The impact allegations can have outside of work, encroaching upon home life, etc. Seems a lot to deal with for 14k a year! I have my own dc to think about.

OP posts:
MrsVeryTired · 16/09/2023 18:37

Its a very hard job, rewarding, but v hard. I do same but very part-time. No way could I do the full school day. Also as someone with ASD I think you are likely to strive to give it your absolute best and it just isn't possible in schools atm, some things have to give and looking after every child 100% just won't happen (unfortunately).

Its like parenting, "good enough" has to be enough sometimes.

Original poster
TAwo4 · 16/09/2023 18:37

One of the perks was supposed to be all the school holidays off. Which does sound lovely having that much time off and not worrying about holidays clubs for DC which is basically a non starter due to his ASD but also the cost of holidays is monumental. Only ever done them outside of term time. SO shocking.

OP posts:
Original poster
TAwo4 · 16/09/2023 18:39

MrsVeryTired · 16/09/2023 18:37

Its a very hard job, rewarding, but v hard. I do same but very part-time. No way could I do the full school day. Also as someone with ASD I think you are likely to strive to give it your absolute best and it just isn't possible in schools atm, some things have to give and looking after every child 100% just won't happen (unfortunately).

Its like parenting, "good enough" has to be enough sometimes.

Yeah, this sounds right. I'm throwing my all at it and giving it everything I have. I'm an all or nothing person but it means at the end of the day, I'm a zombie. I've nothing left to give my family, my own DC. And as you say, with how schools are at the moment, giving it everything still isn't enough.

OP posts:
bobby81 · 16/09/2023 18:39

Honestly I would leave, it's just not worth the stress for so little money. I recently left a stressful public service job because I realised I could earn more money doing something a lot easier! The relief I felt was amazing. I'll never stay in a job I hate again. I do appreciate that I've been lucky because there are loads of jobs available in my area & my kids are secondary school aged so I don't have to worry about the school run etc.

InThePurpleHaze · 16/09/2023 18:45

It's like nursery work. Long hours, lots of stress, terrible pay with little appreciation. My SIL just quit her job in a nursery. Said it was awful and that it's not a surprise they can't get staff.

DelphiniumBlue · 16/09/2023 18:48
  1. The job won't get easier.
  2. If you stay, you must join a union exactly because of the risk of this sort of allegation.
  3. The pay is crap and won't improve
  4. The hours may be negotiable - if you tell the school you can't start till 9:10 and have to leave by 3, they might accept that rather than find someone else.
  5. You shouldn't be acting as TA to the class, if you are there to support specific children. That could be the teacher asking you to do things rather than school policy. You can say no. You could also speak to the SENDCO for back up. It's one thing helping change a few kids to change their book at the same time you are doing the same for your charges, but you have to prioritise, and it is you who will get in trouble if one of them does something while you were busy photocopying a the teacher's request. You have to say. "Sorry, I can't safely do x whilst attending to the needs of A, B & C."
ActDottie · 16/09/2023 18:48

Generally I find the first few weeks of any new job really tiring. Maybe see how you go for the first term and if it’s still too much make a decision then.

User23452 · 16/09/2023 18:49

Did you consider the effect of the noise? I could never work in the school because me, and both dc struggle with the noise in school.

I have two dc with ASD - I could also never work in a job with inflexible hours like that because of how many things that can go wrong or just take a bit longer day to day. Some days it’s much harder to get them lot of the door than others etc.

think you’re going to really annoy the other parents keeping your children at pick up time too, that’s not a long term plan.

bail, bail fast when you’ve made a bad plan.

PineappleActivate · 16/09/2023 19:22

A temporary contract with a school generally means as soon as they longer need you then they will give you very little notice. They never have enough staff for special needs children. It's not going to get any better.
If your dc is suffering as a result and you're exhausted then bail. Or just give yourself a set number of weeks and if it hasn't improved then bail.
Negative I know but I really don't think its going to improve.