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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to book a wheelchair space

87 replies

Iknowitswrong15 · 16/09/2023 14:49

I know I might 100 percent get slaughtered for this and I probably deserve it.
my daughters birthday is coming up and she wanted to see a certain show last year which sold out very quickly. It is coming back this year and the tickets are going quickly again. She is a wheelchair user however she can get out of chair. Due to a really hard year ( recently lost DP ) I wanted to get her tickets for her birthday trip.
I went on site and the only available tickets were 130 plus per ticket.
it’s a lot due to recent circumstances and going from 2 wages to 1 so suddenly.
she uses her wheelchair daily for getting to places like to school and back, shops etf but can walk short distances ( she has 2 organ failures, concratures in legs, and attached to an IV )
however she could make it to a seat as I can take the pumps of chair in to bags and then re attach them after for the journey home.
the wheelchair seats are buy the 100 plus seats but are given at the minimum ticket price of less that 40.00 and can also can book an assistance ticket for free next to wheelchair seat.
i keep going to book it but then keep remembering I’m morally wrong as I can transfer her !
then I lose my morals again and think well it’s ok. I’m over thinking this but it is very morally wrong right ?

OP posts:

Original poster

Iknowitswrong15 · 16/09/2023 15:15

I have booked ! Thank you
it’s not that we don’t use anything we are entitled to … like we have an access pass for merlin parks etc
often use carers tickets
and wheelchair seats when she was unable to walk at all.
it was just me thinking about those who wouldn’t be able to go at all without a wheelchair space.
my mind over thinks a lot at the moment !

OP posts:

Sirzy · 16/09/2023 15:15

It’s also about getting her into the theatre comfortably and heaven forbid evacuating if needed. Her being in the chair makes life easier and safer all around meaning you can enjoy the show.

you don’t want the effort of getting there meaning she is exhausted and can’t enjoy the show.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 16/09/2023 15:16

Please book the seat. You and DD are absolutely entitled to it. Hope you have a lovely time

SauronsArsehole · 16/09/2023 15:21

She’s a wheelchair user. It may only be part of the time but there’s no guarantee she’ll be walking fit for the show.

book the seat and enjoy the show.

Toomuvhonot · 16/09/2023 15:22

You have 100% yanbu! Enjoy the show!!!

MustGetOutofBed · 16/09/2023 15:24

Buy the seat for your DD and take the free assistance seat too! No one should judge you for that.

ClintWest · 16/09/2023 15:25

I want to shake you! Get the damn seats and enjoy it. You deserve this.

viques · 16/09/2023 15:25

Iknowitswrong15 · 16/09/2023 14:55

Thankyou I am just aware that it’s a wheelchair space not a disabled space if you know what I mean, because she can walk and get to a seat I have never felt entitled to book one !
you have made me feel better !

You also need to consider that theatre seats are not always very big/ comfortable so she will probably be much more comfortable sitting in her chair. Also if she was using the chair to get to the theatre you would have to ask them to store it somewhere safe bit accessible for her, which they probably won’t have room for as many London theatres are old and often pushed for space.

I hope she enjoys the show.

Lindy2 · 16/09/2023 15:25

I can't understand why you are doubting your entitlement to book a wheelchair seat and carer ticket. Please just book it and have a lovely time.

lovemytribe · 16/09/2023 15:27

Absolutely book it and don't feel an ounce of guilt! Enjoy the show, you both deserve a treat!

Trinity65 · 16/09/2023 15:27

YANBU
I hope you both have a wonderful time

Miyagi99 · 16/09/2023 15:28

Iknowitswrong15 · 16/09/2023 14:55

Lots of disabled people use wheelchairs but aren’t wheelchair bound anyway. But the tickets, have a lovely time.

Blanca87 · 16/09/2023 15:28

She’s a wheelchair users so therefore can use the space . Enjoy the night and let go of the guilt, you’ve been through enough without piling on yourself. ❤️

CrazyHamsterLady · 16/09/2023 15:29

Your daughter has a tough enough life, she’s entitled to this.

LondonJax · 16/09/2023 15:50

I'm glad you booked the tickets. Remember, getting her into her seat isn't the end of the story. We went to see a show recently and had to stand three times to let people pass into their seats. It's why the person I know who uses their wheelchair similarly to your DD, always books a wheelchair space. It's exhausting for her to have to transfer back to her feet whilst people shuffle in, then out again for the loo or a drink at the interval, then back again! She's comfortable in her chair, people give her more time.

I hope she enjoys the show.

Froodwithatowel · 16/09/2023 16:00

Another ambulant wheelchair user here - use the space! She's among the group of people it's designed for, I can't see many wheelchair users saying to transfer and muck about with equipment when she and you need the accessibility being able to use her chair offers. Have a lovely time and stop worrying!

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 16/09/2023 16:10

Book the seat love and both have a fabulous time

VickyEadieofThigh · 16/09/2023 16:13

Behave yourself and book it!

GlasgowGal82 · 16/09/2023 16:17

Buy the seat. Your daughter is a wheelchair user so you shouldn't even think twice about this. It sounds like your life is tough enough already so please take the advantages you are entitled to and do not feel guilty for it.

Sirzy · 16/09/2023 16:20

Glad it’s booked.

the other thing is the amount of space around normal seats is minimal so not really conducive for pump bags etc

Echobelly · 16/09/2023 16:21

Glad you've booked it - don't let the fact that some people are arseholes about ambulant wheelchair users put you off using what you're entitled to. And as others have said, even if she can in theory walk enough not to 100% need the wheelchair entitlement, no one would begrudge it to her as she clearly has enough to contend with one way or another.

Anewuser · 16/09/2023 16:21

As a parent of a full time wheelchair user, I say, definitely book the wheelchair space. I’d absolutely love to take my son to a concert or theatre but unfortunately they never have changing facilities (toilets) with hoist and changing bench so never get to use the space. Enjoy it.

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 16/09/2023 16:23

But the seats.

She is a wheelchair user, even if she doesn't have to use it all the time.

Enjoy your time with DD, you deserve it after the tough time you have all had recently

itsgettingweird · 16/09/2023 17:02

Book the seat.

My son is an intermittent wheelchair and crutches user (less than your dd) and I'm absolutely on the side you should.

Fwiw have a look at access card. It's £15 for 3 years and gives you all sorts of access to shows etc easier because you get the symbols attached for the support required and so many places take it now (and many require it for access support)

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 16/09/2023 17:16

I am a wheelchair user. I can walk, but not very far. When booking tickets for shows I will often ring up and ask about the seating. If I can easily transfer to a normal seat and have my wheelchair moved out of the way then I'll do that, provided the normal chairs aren't going to cause me a lot of discomfort with my back or legs. But I have absolutely no qualms about booking a wheelchair space of I feel transferring going to be problematic. Disability isn't competitive (though some people act like it is), and wheelchair spaces are for any wheelchair user. Your daughter has legitimate need. Just book the space and enjoy the show.

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