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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a £1.60 tip?

95 replies

Santire · 15/09/2023 22:42

Went out to our local pizzeria. Service was fine but they forgot to bring our olives to start. There was a service charge of 10%. Bill came to £43.40. So I said to the waiter, alright, maybe it £45?

So £1.60 tip plus £4.34 service. DP has chastised me all the way home and said how I embarrassed him. I should have left nothing yada yada.

In Italy or Spain, you only ever leave a few coins as a tip. So I presumed it would be fine to do with italians at a pizzeria!

OP posts:
Original poster
Santire · 15/09/2023 22:55

He insisted I tip on top of service…

OP posts:
SM4713 · 15/09/2023 22:55

If there were issues- I wouldn't tip and would have asked for the discretionary service charge to be removed also! YABU to tip £6 for poor service!

Multiple other industries pay minimum wage with highly stressful jobs- carers, bin men, workers in care homes, etc- do you tip them also???

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/09/2023 22:56

Santire · 15/09/2023 22:55

He insisted I tip on top of service…

With your money? Why can't he tip if he wants to?

I think you have a partner issue, not a tipping issue.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/09/2023 22:56

Service charges are not quite the same as tips in that the money doesn't necessarily go to your particular serving staff

Not my problem, frankly

I don't go to a restaurant to start making points about the employment arrangements of others, and besides I respect them enough to believe they'll speak for themselves if something's not acceptable

FloweryName · 15/09/2023 22:59

Why is he insisting what you do if you’re paying?

Clefable · 15/09/2023 23:01

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/09/2023 22:56

Service charges are not quite the same as tips in that the money doesn't necessarily go to your particular serving staff

Not my problem, frankly

I don't go to a restaurant to start making points about the employment arrangements of others, and besides I respect them enough to believe they'll speak for themselves if something's not acceptable

No it doesn't really bother me either, but just wanted to point out there might be a difference to anyone who does! Personally if there's a service charge on the bill then I wouldn't leave anything else anyway.

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/09/2023 23:06

A service charge is NOT a tip.

The service charge is how a lot of companies get to keep the majority of tips (servers get a percentage), because the customer thinks that they are going to the server so dont question it.

I always ask for the service charge to be removed and then tip in cash, especially in chain places.

Trust me on this. As a former hospitality manager for chain pubs/restaurants, if you want to tip then do that. They are legally required to removed the service charge, they dont like it but they have to.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 15/09/2023 23:07

The service charge is the tip, I wouldn't leave anything on top unless it was absolutely exceptional - and I worked in hospitality for years.

I also think pooled tips are fairer - why shouldn't the chefs or the pot washers get tips rather than just the waiting staff?

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/09/2023 23:08

Oh and regarding the OP.......if he wants to leave a decent tip then he is perfectly at liberty to put his hand in his pocket and do so. Seems like the only person who embarrassed him tonight was him.

NewName122 · 15/09/2023 23:10

The service charge is the tip....

whynotwhatknot · 15/09/2023 23:23

service is a tip-if he wanted to leave one so badly why didt he

Certainlyreally · 15/09/2023 23:24

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 15/09/2023 22:53

Your DH's sentiment is spot on. If you can afford it you should tip well but he's not right to berate you. There was nothing stopping him opening his own wallet.

The service charge is the tip!!!

ZiriForEver · 15/09/2023 23:29

2chocolateoranges · 15/09/2023 22:53

Service charge is a tip. If I had good service I’d always leave 10%

I hate when people say oh but staff in Tesco don’t get tips. It’s all part and parcel of their job.

having worked in a shop and worked in Hospitality, hospitality is 100% a much harder job work wise. You don’t stop. I’ve worked in shops and you can skive, that does not happen in hospitality. Hospitality is full on from the minute you start until the minute you finish, most of these staff are 16, 17 &18 who are paid much less than a 23 yr old on minimum age for doing the exact same job.

I don't see it as an universal truth. There are lazy cafes and busy shops where the employees are under constant performance monitoring.

Anyway, if hospitality is harder work, maybe it should just pay more? The whole premise that a for profit business pays a legal minimum and customers should top it up is wrong on so many levels.

nimski · 15/09/2023 23:29

The service charge IS the tip!
I do however ask the wait staff if they get the money before I pay it on the bill. If they say no I'll leave cash instead

ParentingSolo · 15/09/2023 23:32

SweetBirdsong · 15/09/2023 22:45

Well, I personally would not have left a tip at all ... It's the 21st century. There's no need to give a tip to anyone, as virtually everybody in unskilled labour in every job is on the same minimum wage. Nobody's on £1.50 an hour anymore, while other people are on £4.50 an hour. So there's absolutely no need to tip.

You don't tip the checkout operator in Tesco, or the cleaner in the toilet you use in the shopping centre, or the delivery driver who brings your packages from Amazon, so why tip people bringing the pizza to your table? Confused

I agree with your partner, You did not need to leave a tip at all. And especially not with there being a (very cheeky) service charge of four pounds something!

Edited

THIS! They are not under paid like they are in the US! They're paid a wage like everybody else! It's just a bloody ridiculous trend at this point

ThinWomansBrain · 15/09/2023 23:34

i never leave a tip if there's a service charge.

ParentingSolo · 15/09/2023 23:36

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 15/09/2023 22:53

Your DH's sentiment is spot on. If you can afford it you should tip well but he's not right to berate you. There was nothing stopping him opening his own wallet.

Why? Do you tip the supermarket delivery man? The trolley collector? The lady at the till in M&S? The whole point of tipping was because in the US, they weren't paid minimum wage and relied on tips! It's merely a trend in this country as our service staff are all paid at least minimum wage. So please tell me why we should 'tip well?' I'm genuinely intrigued

starsparkle08 · 15/09/2023 23:37

I used to as a carer brush shit out of residents teeth , so I don’t agree with tips . My dads now in that sort of situation and I’ve very clear on his care - and appreciate all they do as I’ve done it myself . Don’t worry about the tip it’s a choice .

starsparkle08 · 15/09/2023 23:37

Sorry just realised no mental health issues present

ParentingSolo · 15/09/2023 23:38

starsparkle08 · 15/09/2023 23:37

I used to as a carer brush shit out of residents teeth , so I don’t agree with tips . My dads now in that sort of situation and I’ve very clear on his care - and appreciate all they do as I’ve done it myself . Don’t worry about the tip it’s a choice .

Eugh did you have to go into such graphic detail? That's revolting thanks a lot

starsparkle08 · 15/09/2023 23:39

In this situation your husband should have paid

starsparkle08 · 15/09/2023 23:39

It’s the sad truth

Rafting2022 · 15/09/2023 23:40

Can’t believe how many of you pay the service tip. I always ask for it to be removed, cheeky twats.

Would you tolerate the checkout person at Aldi adding a 10% service charge to your shopping bill?

Kat19899 · 15/09/2023 23:45

Surely it is naive of pp to think that 1. EVERYONE is paid minimum wage (obviously not common but some people paid cash in hand and now MW because that’s all they can get) 2. MW is actually enough to live on

I also think tips are pointless in this day and age with service charge already added, and it’s not my job to pay wages. However we do need to recognise that some people do live off tips and not assume that everyone who has a job is being paid fairly or legally

Trixiefirecracker · 15/09/2023 23:47

You don’t need to too but you should tip for good service. Waiting staff earn next to nothing.

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