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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL or us?

52 replies

SM4713 · 15/09/2023 15:21

MIL called DH to say that she is paying for a 3 day stay at an AirBNB. Lovely, thank you etc. He said that we will book it in next month.

She said well no, it needs to be taken next week Tue- Fri! Not only that, its 2 streets from where we live!!! DH pointed out that we have workmen here next week and neither of us can book leave with such short notice. Nor would we want to stay in our own town! He said that the cash would be more useful for when we do book a getaway.

After a huff, she said he was being unreasonable and hung up the phone. Was he unreasonable?

OP posts:
catscalledbeanz · 15/09/2023 15:23

She had it booked and can't go herself so is trying to fob it off on you and disguise it as a gift. You're obviously not being unreasonable- it would be a rare person who could go with such so notice

Hidingawaytoday · 15/09/2023 15:24

What work are you having done? Could it be that she booked it so you didn't have to stay at home while the workmen are there?

1willgetthere · 15/09/2023 15:24

Has she booked it for herself to come and visit?

TheFlis · 15/09/2023 15:29

What an utterly bizarre thing to do. There has to be more to this?

drspouse · 15/09/2023 15:32

She's definitely booked it for herself and can't use it.

PerspiringElizabeth · 15/09/2023 15:36

Utterly bizarre all round.

saraclara · 15/09/2023 15:36

Hidingawaytoday · 15/09/2023 15:24

What work are you having done? Could it be that she booked it so you didn't have to stay at home while the workmen are there?

That was my immediate thought

Foggyfoggyfoggy · 15/09/2023 15:37

She booked it ages ago planning on landing on your doorstep. Building work have scuppered her plans.

Crazycrazylady · 15/09/2023 15:47

What a nut job: who books a holiday last minute for people in their own home town.

HollaWithDaRisinSound · 15/09/2023 15:51

She sounds mad

are you leaving workmen alone in your house lol id never do that

When we were having our doors and windows fitted, (December) my MIL took the bus from her home town - some considerable distance - to come and sit here with us

We didn't invite her, or want/need her here - she was irritating as fuk, all she did was moan about how cold she was and in the end i snapped and said 'well its your own fault for turning up unannounced when you knew we were having windows and doors ripped out'

Dacadactyl · 15/09/2023 15:54

People are paranoid.

My immediate thought is that she's booked it so you don't have to be in the house while the workmen are in.

ZadocPDederick · 15/09/2023 16:06

Has she explained why she did this? Why on earth would anyone ever want to go to all the faff of packing up to go to another house two streets away for three days?

Original poster
SM4713 · 15/09/2023 16:23

We've been renovating for 2yrs, and DH is project managing. All structure work has been done. Next week the workmen will be in garage, which doesn't effect the house at all. She only lives 20mins away herself, so the AirBNB wasn't booked for her to stay in. It was DH birthday earlier this year, so presumably as part of that.

Yes- she does have form for doing bonkers things like this. Who would want to stay 2 streets away when it offers absolutely nothing we don't already have?

OP posts:
JustWimpy · 15/09/2023 16:53

I think it's odd to suggest she gives you cash.

Kwasi · 16/09/2023 08:10

I can’t fathom MIL’s logic but I think she’s right to be huffed that DH asked for the money instead.

Ohpleeeease · 16/09/2023 08:31

The gift is bananas and YANBU for saying no.

However your DH was rude to ask for the money instead, that comes across as greedy and entitled. She’s NBU to be pissed off about that.

Lovemyones · 16/09/2023 08:32

So there's no hot tub or something that makes this different? Sounds as if she got it really discounted or knows the owners possibly?

Ceit · 16/09/2023 08:55

Hidingawaytoday · 15/09/2023 15:24

What work are you having done? Could it be that she booked it so you didn't have to stay at home while the workmen are there?

This is exactly what I thought on reading the OP.

ihadamarveloustime · 16/09/2023 10:00

She sounds bonkers.

Having a break two blocks over isn't a break or a holiday; it's actually just a hassle.

Ffion21 · 16/09/2023 10:17

The logic here is hilarious - because there is no logic.

I don’t think there is much more to say, it’s an unnecessary upheaval.

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 16/09/2023 10:30

What a loon! Ignore.

REP22 · 16/09/2023 10:34

You are certainly not being unreasonable. Does she try to "manage" other aspects of her son's life? If there's other problems behind this, it might be worth a visit to the MN Stately Homes threads (April 2023 -"Well we took you to Stately Homes" | Mumsnet) for helpful and kind solidarity and advice (or the Cockroach Cafe ones, though you might not be at that point yet).

I probably wouldn't have asked for the money instead, but that's an understandable off-the-cuff remark to have made in the moment.

The key thing is to present a firm but kind and united front to her suggestions and "gifts".

Best wishes to you.

April 2023 -"Well we took you to Stately Homes" | Mumsnet

Welcome to the Stately Homes Thread. This is a long running thread which was originally started up by 'pages' back in December 2007) So this thr...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/april-2023-well-we-took-you-to-stately-homes?page=1

DottyLottieLou · 16/09/2023 10:44

Totally bizarre.

Elly46 · 16/09/2023 11:00

You’ve given a perfectly reasonable reason/s why you can’t and won’t go. Let her huff and don’t give her the feed she craves. I think some in laws fail to realise the level of commitment their sons and daughters have in life. We can’t all have the luxury of dropping our lives to camp out in an air bnb when it takes our fancy.

Iwasafool · 16/09/2023 11:00

Hidingawaytoday · 15/09/2023 15:24

What work are you having done? Could it be that she booked it so you didn't have to stay at home while the workmen are there?

I'm having some renovations and decorating done. I'd love a few days in a B&B as lovely as the builders are they, and the dust and mess, are getting a bit much.