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Original poster

Husbands Alarm

37 replies

AlarmHater · 15/09/2023 06:22

DH has decided to take up running again and has 2 events to train for.

Twice in the last week he's set his alarm for 5.30 and low a behold has not gotten up to go for the run.

I'm a light sleeper and he knows all alarms wake me up and 99% of the time I can't get back to sleep. This morning I had to wake him as he blissfully slept through his alarm and yep, here I am wide awake downstairs with a coffee whilst he snores his head off upstairs.

I've not been feeling well this week, not sure what's wrong but just low level not feeling great, really really tired and I could honestly cry. The kids are off today and I was hoping to sleep until 7.30 before getting up for work. I could actually cry, my head is pounding and I still feel exhausted but i tried to get back to sleep and just couldn't.

I don't think I would even mind so much if he'd actually got up to go on his run but as it stands I've been woken up for zero reason.

Even a phone vibration wakes me. Is there any kind of watch alarm that's quiet enough it would only wake the person wearing it?

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 15/09/2023 06:25

That is v selfish of him. If he has a smart watch for running lots of those can be worn at night have a vibrate alarm, quieter for one’s partner than a mobile vibrate alarm. Or at minimum he should use the mobile vibrate.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 15/09/2023 06:26

That's really selfish of him, and no there's no alarm that would wake Jim's Ms not you, given that disparity in what is needed to wake you both up.

Is there any way you can sleep in separate rooms occasionally? He's the one who should move to the other room (with all his pre-prepped running gear so he doesn't come back and wake you getting dressed), especially given his propensity to not ACTUALLY get up anyway.

BippityBoppityBooHooHoo · 15/09/2023 06:29

Wouldn’t you be woken up even if he did get up when his alarm goes off? Is there a separate bedroom he/you can sleep in?

If he's not getting up, I'd be tempted to turn his alarms off the night before!

Hope you feel better soon.

Original poster
AlarmHater · 15/09/2023 06:34

No other room to sleep in unfortunately. I accept that as a light sleeper I will sometimes be woken inadvertently. Yesterday a prime example as he was in the office and I was WFH so he had to get up earlier.

I think because I'm not feeling well my irritation is amplified. I've been going to bed early but it still just isn't helping with this fatigue.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlarmHater · 15/09/2023 06:37

Wouldn’t you be woken up even if he did get up when his alarm goes off? Is there a separate bedroom he/you can sleep in?

I would but I could then read in bed or have a better chance of dozing back off because he wouldn't be there snoring which he seems to immediately do after switching the alarm off. I don't mind so much if he's actually getting up but it does piss me off that he's woken me up twice and then he goes back to sleep whilst I can't.

OP posts:
BippityBoppityBooHooHoo · 15/09/2023 06:38

Have you spoken to him? Unless he is committing to getting up in the morning to go running, he's not to set an alarm so early. I suppose it's less annoying being woken up if he's actually cracking on with the objective he's set himself!

Original poster
AlarmHater · 15/09/2023 06:42

I have and I can only assume that his 100% commitment on the evening before disappears to 0% overnight.

So he would say he's definitely going in the evening and needs the alarm. Morning husband is not so committed. I'm going to ask him to run at night instead. He's started doing something on a Sat morning too so I'm awake every Sat early doors now also.

OP posts:
BippityBoppityBooHooHoo · 15/09/2023 06:51

AlarmHater · 15/09/2023 06:42

I have and I can only assume that his 100% commitment on the evening before disappears to 0% overnight.

So he would say he's definitely going in the evening and needs the alarm. Morning husband is not so committed. I'm going to ask him to run at night instead. He's started doing something on a Sat morning too so I'm awake every Sat early doors now also.

Hideous. Evening runs seems like the fairest way to go - good luck!

unlikelychump · 15/09/2023 06:56

My husband does this. It is so annoying. I have changed my schedule so I go to bed earlier and am prepared to be awake from 0630 but sometimes he mixes it up without telling me and sets it even earlier.... and wonders why I get so pissed off with him

Original poster
AlarmHater · 15/09/2023 06:57

I think the evening suggestion will be met with resistance for various reasons but we'll see

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 15/09/2023 07:01

i wouldn’t suggest he runs at night, but would point out that it’s selfish to wake you then go back to sleep and asks that if he sets the alarm he gets up!

BibbleandSqwauk · 15/09/2023 07:01

I agree. You may be worth framing it though as "but you really want to train and mornings aren't suiting you" rather than it being about your sleep issue. If he thinks switching is for his benefit he's more likely to do it.

WaltzingWaters · 15/09/2023 07:04

When his alarm goes off kick him out of bed. Or just turn the lights on and start reading your book once he’s woken you up.

Original poster
AlarmHater · 15/09/2023 07:08

Why can't it be about my sleep though? If I was doing something that was interrupting someone's sleep I wouldn't do it or would put something in place to limit impact.

OP posts:
Girlintheframe · 15/09/2023 07:17

I'm a very light sleeper too and my DH also gets up at 5.30 to run. He wears a smart watch though which vibrates. He then moves ninja like out the bedroom to the lounge where he's put out all his running gear the night before.

I still hear him but it doesn't wake me fully so I'm able to doze. You really have my sympathy, lack of sleep is horrendous.

whatchulookinatwillis · 15/09/2023 07:46

Surely you have a sofa? He can sleep on that if he wants to set his alarm for 5.30, it'll presumably make it harder for him to just fall back to sleep and then he may actually run.

Either way, you won't be disturbed.

He's being a selfish arsehole, especially when you're ill. He should be VERY apologetic and ensuring you get an undisturbed lie-in tomorrow.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 15/09/2023 08:01

Girlintheframe · 15/09/2023 07:17

I'm a very light sleeper too and my DH also gets up at 5.30 to run. He wears a smart watch though which vibrates. He then moves ninja like out the bedroom to the lounge where he's put out all his running gear the night before.

I still hear him but it doesn't wake me fully so I'm able to doze. You really have my sympathy, lack of sleep is horrendous.

This is exactly what I do. It’s selfish to wake up your partner unnecessarily and it wnbu of you to tell him so.

WildFlowerBees · 15/09/2023 08:06

I get up at 5.30 to exercise, I wear my watch so it vibrates, I get everything ready the night before and put it downstairs so I don't disturb dh. Your dh sounds selfish. Can you nab his phone and turn off the alarm? Some people are just so bloody rude.

Original poster
AlarmHater · 15/09/2023 08:21

He did apologise this morning then fucked off for a run whilst I've started work and kids now awake needing breakfast etc

I'll speak to him later because right now I know the conversation wouldn't go well if I tried when he finally arrives back before he needs to start work

OP posts:
SeeTheWorldAnotherWay · 15/09/2023 09:08

I am a really light sleeper, and don’t find sleeping an easy thing to do. Almost a year ago, I started wearing an eye mask and earplugs at night. It’s been an absolute game changer for me, has saved my marriage and my sanity. I would still hear doorbell, smoke alarm, loud noises but the low level stuff is zoned out. If I do waken, it’s much easier to fall back asleep as I’m not wide awake and stunned. Honestly, try it. It changed my life.

Screwballs · 15/09/2023 12:18

I bought some loop earplugs, night time ones, and they are fantastic for both settling me to sleep and blocking out DP's snoring. I wonder if that may help you.

Brightandshining · 15/09/2023 12:24

Call me horrible and controlling but I just go and check my husbands phone after hes fallen asleep to see when he's set the alarm for.. and if its a ridiculous time for no reason I just set it to later. Idgaf what anyone thinks. Im not gonna be woken up at the crack of dawn for someone who will just sleep thru that alarm anyway (he's a heavy sleeper and if he doesnt actually have to go to work would often just turn over and ignore his alarm) I'm a very light sleeper. I sleep with wax earplugs but a phone alarm even on vibrate will wake me right up and I won't be able to get back to sleep.
I'm going to take care of myself and make sure I dont fall apart from lack of sleep and if that ,exams going and altering my husbands alarm so be it.
Tbf he never really complains, sometimes he doesnt even notice because he's just forgotten he was going to get up at that time to do whatever.
People who sleep thru their unnecessary alarms absolutely give me the rage. Im just not accepting it and thats all there is.
You shouldn't accept it either. Its deeply selfish.

Hont1986 · 15/09/2023 13:34

I used to use a "Mi Band", cheap little fitness tracker watch with a decent vibration alarm. Woke me up pretty consistently, although to be fair I never needed to use it as early as 5:30am.

whatchulookinatwillis · 15/09/2023 14:15

So just to clarify; he wakes you up at 5.30am for no reason, then goes for a run whilst you are working, leaving you to do childcare of young children (including feeding them?) during your working day?

That's bullshit.

He's not only fucking with your sleep, he's fucking with your career and passing his childcare responsibilities in his parenting time onto you during your working day, so he can do his hobby. WTAF??

He's a shit husband and a shit father.

felisha54 · 15/09/2023 14:20

My dh gets up earlier than me so his alarm goes off. 99% of time I sleep through it due to wearing silicon ear plugs and a face mask.