A nice person

[thatladyinred]

Do you consider yourself a nice person?

Like everyone, I have my weaknesses and aren't perfect, but I do try to be kind and supportive to people. I work on the idea that you don't know what other people are going through, so a smile or kind word can make all the difference to their day. I'm reasonably accepting of other people. However I don't tolerate nonsense and not a lot of sympathy for people who could help themselves but choose not to (plenty of sympathy for those who have real challenges in that area). I used to give a lot more but found I attracted a lot of needy people and had to toughen up. Does that make a a nice person with boundaries? I don't know. Maybe it depends who you ask. :-)

I like to think im a decent person. I try to be nice and considerate to others and treat them how I would like to be treated. However fuck with my family or friends then i can be utterly vile! Aggressive, spiteful and vindictive! I don't believe that anyone has just one side to them and is 100% nice all the time.

It's a word everyone has different definitions of.
There's other more precise descriptions I'd probably use for myself like 'open minded' 'compassionate'
There's elements to my personality I don't like too...
I'm not sure anyone is a totally 'nice' or 'horrible' person. Depends on how you define it and the context. And we all have our personal tastes as well.
For example I think my DH is the kindest most decent person I've ever met... I'm not sure his ex would tell you the same. I view his behaviour totally differently. Sure there's some behaviour and personality traits most people would agree are horrible and that's a categorical fact. But the majority of the time it's like one persona shit is another person's gold. One person's annoying is another person's warm and friendly. One person's cold is another's respectful.

I try to be, but I know I'm not always, and even when I'm trying to be, it's not always received as intended. Why do you ask?

I don't claim to be nice, but other people seem to think I am.

I am just delightful 😊

Most people think I'm nice because I'm extremely polite. Others interpret it as being cold and formal, or passive aggressive.

I wouldn't describe myself as 'nice'

Mostly, but also deeply cynical at times! Though “nice” is a bit vague. Maybe decent is a better description.

Law of averages…. when I realised I’m not even half as nasty as the average person.
But I could be better.
Also, based on my own limited empirical experience, the ones are screeching #bekind are the absolute worst of humanity.
thank you for coming to my unTED talk.

I can be, but I think it's low on my list of important personality traits.

This, basically. I think a lot of people fetishise ‘niceness’, particularly in women. Personally, there are at least a dozen other traits I consider far more important.

So, no, I’m not particularly nice.

Agree with previous posters that being 'nice' can be a problem. Especially as women I think we are encouraged to be 'nice' by putting our own needs and wants aside. It's okay to not be 'nice' all the time and be kind to ourselves instead.

I would be very open about all my shortcomings if that helps.

With sensible people only.

You see some people are the white guy who got saved by his black friend in Cloud Atlas and it completely changed his world view.
Some people are the guys who were selling their own folk to the newcomers. And they will stay this way all their life.

No. I think it’s a bland and fairly meaningless blanket term. It’s not something I’d aspire to, particularly. I try not to be mean or petty.

I was a much nicer person before I got cancer. Never took shit but did a lot of volunteering over the years, spent a lot of time helping people, gave free professional support in an area where people would usually have to pay a lot of money for same, I know people considered me a good person who could be relied on for help and I feel good about things like helping people with employment tribunals, preparing for family court etc, Now I have become a lot more selfish, quite intolerant really. Ditched the user friends, will still do anything for my true pals but the number has shrunk. Sometimes I feel bad about it, other times I think meh.

I am nice to people who are nice to me. I am fair to those who aren't.

Nice is over-rated.

A lot of the time "nice" just means someone is pleasant, inoffensive and able to be reasonably diplomatic in their interactions with others. While these are useful skills to have, they don't define someone's intrinsic value. I prioritise being loyal, kind, intelligent and interesting over being "nice" which doesn't tell me much about the actual value of the person, just that they are good at managing their public image day to day.

Being nice is often quite self-serving: there are a lot of people who are good at presenting nicely but are not actually fundamentally that kind or decent when push comes to shove.

I also think nice is quite gendered: women are put under huge pressure to be nice in the sense of not rocking the boat, not upsetting people, not being too powerful in their opinions or personality. Often the expectation that someone should be nice is a way to keep them in their place. Niceness isn't a quality particularly valued in men, which tells you quite a lot.

I used to be and a massive people pleaser but that very slowly stopped when I realised that family and friends took advantage of that. Now I’m outwardly lovely always pleasant, saying the right things, big smiles but inside thinking not so nice thoughts. I’ve been hurt one times too many.

I’m genuinely nice to people when I first meet them (but my feelings change if I find out they’re dicks) I give what I receive.

It depends what you mean by 'nice'. I certainly try to be considerate, compassionate and generous towards most people, but I won't be nice towards people who are being unpleasant and I won't let people take advantage. I also have a very dark sense of humour and I'm more pragmatic than emotional, and I'm aware that for some people that might come across as being not nice at all. But I also tend to stick up for the underdog, I'm always polite and patient in shops/cafes etc, I'm very non-demanding of people at work, I'll always try to help if I see someone hurt or distressed etc.

'Nice' is probably the wrong word for me, honestly. I've certainly got an edge to me and I can be very, very cutting if I think someone deserves it. 'Fair' is probably a better way to describe me.

As pp said I like to think I am a decent person. I’m not petty or spiteful, which are qualities I despise in others. People are always asking me things like where’s the ladies or do I know where x is in the supermarket. So perhaps I have the opposite of resting bitch face! But can be quite unsociable, I don’t usually want to chat to people on the train etc. But if someone clearly needed to talk I would listen.

I always try to be, sometimes it's difficult because I'm disabled now and in a wheelchair and for some reason that seems to bring the worst out in some other people towards me.

But generally I'm one of those people that anyone will talk too, wether it's a stranger just making small talk or opening up to me and telling me they're worries 😂young children asking to race me 😂

Sorry posted too soon which of course I obliged them with a race and obviously they win every single time.😁

Not really. Try to do the right thing, but struggle with thinking the right thing. So a hypocrite, like a lot of folk I suppose.

On the surface, probably. I am a good communicator and a great listener. I don't do bad things but in reality I don't really care that much about other people, even family. It would take a lot for me to say something nasty about anyone especially to their face and I rarely gossip. I am usually happy to help out if asked but I don't hesitate to say no if I don't want to and I don't offer. I am very, very self sufficient and don't encourage people to get involved with my life. I don't really have any friends at the moment as I find they expect too much of you. COVID lockdowns were bliss.

After reading that back, I think I need to get out more🤣🤣🤣

Agree. Bland and inoffensive.