Work situ - what would be the least unreasonable option here?

[Doublebubblegum]

OK- short summary - a colleague and I (both at same level doing same role) both applied for an internal promotion to a much more senior position.

We were the only two applicants, both were interviewed last week and then yesterday I was offered the job (and I accepted). I'm very happy!

My colleague is a good work friend, we get on well, speak regularly and often message one another. We'd already had a conversation about the fact we were both going for the same job, laughed it off a bit and wished one another all the best. No awkwardness at all.

When I accepted the job, my new boss asked me to keep it to myself until I was given the nod as he needed to make some arrangements to backfill my role and so on. Fine by me. But I've since found out they aren't planning on telling my colleague she was unsuccessful until Monday next week!!

She has messaged me on Teams tonight asking if I've heard anything about the job. I don't what to say to her!! I've got 3 options, not sure which is the least unreasonable option:

1. ignore her. This would be weird and rude. I'd never ignore a message from her usually so don't think this is really an option
2. tell her I've got the job - but I've been asked not to say anything and it's not really my news to break to her so that feels like a shit option
3. lie and say I've not heard anything- this also feels like a crap option as I hate lying so would just feel shitty

Any other ideas or suggestions?? What shall I do??

Option 3 is the only thing for it I’m afraid .

3

Option 3 I think is the only one you can really do.

Could you let either your current or new boss know that you feel like you’ve been put in an uncomfortable situation?

Option 3. No brainer. You've been told not to tell anyone and it's a harmless white lie. If need be you can explain after it's in the open.

Absolutely option 3. It feels like lying but it’s standard procedure not to discuss success in a role until others have found out. The person who told you is shitty for not tell her straight away.

3

I would absolutely ignore it, not that that is morally right, but I would.

I’d send a message tomorrow morning asking her a question. When she answers, ignore it. Ask the same question again, as if she never replied. Then when she is confused say ‘I had no idea you responded! my teams is playing up, I haven’t been receiving anyone’s messages over the last couple of days, I’ll have to ring ICT. I thought everyone was a bit quiet!’

Then hopefully you can ignore until Monday. It’s probably not right but it’s such a tricky one isn’t it

Tell your boss they need to tell the colleague or you will.

Option 3. But never, ever tell unless you want the friendship to break.

I have been in a very similar position. I said I was still waiting to hear from [Boss] - which was true, I was still waiting for him to announce it.

You could try "Newboss said there are some things that still have to be worked out, so I think we have to wait until next week."

I don't suppose you are able to contact Newboss and ask them what you are supposed to say, before you reply to your friend?

Don’t respond in writing. I would lie and say I haven’t heard anything if she asks you in person.

I have just been through this and was the person who didn’t get the job. If you have been promoted above a colleague it changes your relationship. You need to give her time to adjust, and don’t give her anything she can run to the boss with.

You will have many more work situations now that you need to keep confidential and not discuss with your friend, that is one of the challenges of being more senior in the workplace.

You can't tell her. So your options are to ignore her or to say you don't have an update.

I recommend saying you're still waiting to hear. As it's half true in that you are waiting to hear when you can tell others..
I'd also suggest saying you are trying not to think about it but just relax so that you can enjoy the weekend even if an announcement doesn't come til next wee, as its also part true and means you might not get asked again throughout the day...

How about a non answer response. Something along the lines of “Aargh, am hating the wait” or “why do these things always take longer then you expect”?

It is always hard when you know something significant at work but you can't tell friends who will be impacted or have to bend the truth. But as they say, it's tough at the top, 3 is your only option and if you are good enough friends she will understand. But don't lie, tell her truth one it is in the open, you were offered earlier but were instructed not to say until she was told officially.

Perhaps ask your boss if they can tell her the outcome on Friday before the weekend.

Option 3 but that's really unprofessional of your employer.

They need to tell the other candidate sooner. It's fine for them to wait to announce it more generally but it awful for both of you to put you in that position.

Option 3. If you don't say anything, she will guess.

But I would ask your boss to tell her now. It's not fair otherwise. Say you're concerned that she will guess anyway.

This would be my go-to. Deflection. I couldn't lie.

"I understand they're going to announce it on Monday "

New boss said something about they'll be announcing next week as they'll have a few things to sort out. I guess we just have to wait till then - you haven't heard anything yet have you?

Deflect back with a question works best.

The only possible reply is “I was about to ask you the same question! Hate waiting”

"I hear that they're going to announce it on Monday"

Ignore !

does she know you Read the message?

Agree with the PP who suggest deflection. ‘This wait so frustrating - hopefully they will announce next week’