Work situ - what would be the least unreasonable option here?

[Doublebubblegum]

OK- short summary - a colleague and I (both at same level doing same role) both applied for an internal promotion to a much more senior position.

We were the only two applicants, both were interviewed last week and then yesterday I was offered the job (and I accepted). I'm very happy!

My colleague is a good work friend, we get on well, speak regularly and often message one another. We'd already had a conversation about the fact we were both going for the same job, laughed it off a bit and wished one another all the best. No awkwardness at all.

When I accepted the job, my new boss asked me to keep it to myself until I was given the nod as he needed to make some arrangements to backfill my role and so on. Fine by me. But I've since found out they aren't planning on telling my colleague she was unsuccessful until Monday next week!!

She has messaged me on Teams tonight asking if I've heard anything about the job. I don't what to say to her!! I've got 3 options, not sure which is the least unreasonable option:

1. ignore her. This would be weird and rude. I'd never ignore a message from her usually so don't think this is really an option
2. tell her I've got the job - but I've been asked not to say anything and it's not really my news to break to her so that feels like a shit option
3. lie and say I've not heard anything- this also feels like a crap option as I hate lying so would just feel shitty

Any other ideas or suggestions?? What shall I do??

Just say the very minimum, ie you haven't heard yet.

Once it's announced I'd then apologise to her and say that you had heard but had been sworn to secrecy.

Absolutely no 1 as then you are not lying. Being perceived as a bit rude would be much better than lying or somehow found out to be a liar.

Why not say 'I can't say anything'
She will know
You haven't told her

I would go with 'still waiting' - you are. Just not for the same thing that she's waiting for.

Reply "no update as yet" which isn't technically a lie, as there is no update for her?

Options 4 and 5:

Can we not talk about it any more it's making me anxious?

I'm not thinking about it until next week!

Both truth-adjacent and friendship-preserving.

Option 3. In a more senior role you’re going to have to get used to not always being able to tell colleagues the wider plan ime.

What on earth?! Just go with 3. Why create such a complicated load of nonsense.

How about “I’ve been told everyone will be know
on Monday”? Not a lie but doesn’t actually tell her you’ve got the job.

Badly handled by the recruiting manager!

I would do 1, ignore her message, as I’d be irritated she’d asked me rather than the recruiting manager, I’d been asked not to tell people, and wouldn’t want to lie.

PPs’ various ‘deflections’ and elaborations are all just option 3.

Under no circumstances should you tell her. Under no circumstances should you ask that they tell her as its 'awkward' for you.
You might as well announce your unsuitability for the role straight off as do either of these things, as they simply demonstrate your inabilty to manage work place relationships appropriately.
Either lie or use one of the excellent suggestions for deflection made on here.

There can be many good reasons for not informing an unsuccessful candidate immediately. They may be considering an alternative offer for her. They may be preparing feedback. They may be taking advice as they are concerned about repercussions. They may be planning how the team will be restructured after the promotion. They may want to break bad news on a Friday.
Regardless, its their decision and without knowing the reason or context it would be extremely unwise to act against it or issue some inappropriate you tell her or I will ultimatum (it's not an affair!)
As PP have said, promotion changes work place relationships. You're paid for your loyalty to your employer and it would need to be an extreme situation for it to be appropriate to prioritise loyalty to a colleague over that.

"X said they will announce on Monday, not too much longer! Any plans for the weekend? We are going to X on Sunday."

Completely agree!

If you're fretting about how to navigate this, are you even ready for a senior position.
Wait until they ask you to keep quiet on things like redundancies etc.

There can be many good reasons for not informing an unsuccessful candidate immediately. They may be considering an alternative offer for her. They may be preparing feedback. They may be taking advice as they are concerned about repercussions. They may be planning how the team will be restructured after the promotion. They may want to break bad news on a Friday.

None of those are 'good reasons'. All of the above can be done while informing the applicant, particularly in a situation like this.

I actually realise I misread OP's post - it's Monday next week whereas I read it first as Monday week (ie one week later). That's obviously not so bad as it's only a gap of a few days which isn't unreasonable. However, not telling her before the weekend is unfair. It's another 2 days of her waiting.

It's much better to do it quickly - I've had experience of this, on both sides! It's painful but part of work life.

You do as you have been asked and keep it to yourself, option 3.

Ignoring her for days when you wouldn’t normally do that would probably be flagging that you do know something. Telling her that you got the job when you have been told not to would be very unprofessional.

I have been in senior management and if I promoted someone and asked them to keep it quiet for a few days whilst I lined up other ducks and they struggled with that as you seem to be doing, I would be doubting my decision. This is not hard, as you rise in seniority you have to keep things secret at times.

Option 3. Once she has been told, you can explain the situation and apologise for having been unable to tell her sooner.

Your option is 3.

However your recruitment manager has put you in a shitty position and has handled it really badly. I would be giving them feedback or requesting they seek further training in handling conflict of interest / similar...

If I were you I’d go with a friendly non-answer: ‘Yeah, frustrating this waiting - always the worst part! I guess if it’s not announced today it’ll be after the weekend.’

Don't say you heard of will be announced on Monday - she'll be wondering why you know that and she doesn't.

Just say as pp have suggested. "The waiting is bad isn't it? Let's not talk about it anymore" or similar. Then just don't tell her you knew already. She can't get annoyed; she needs to understand that people above her in the company are going to know things she doesn't and that includes if they're friends with her. And it's really not your place to tell her.

It really isn’t a shitty situation. It is perfectly straight forward, sometimes you have to keep you mouth shut at work. It isn’t hard. That there is even a thread on this, suggests OP probably isn’t ready for a more senior role.

And I’d definitely tell recruiting/new boss that you’re getting questions from X, as you’re good colleagues, so it’s putting you in an awkward situation. Up to them what they do with that information (but they should tell colleague!)

Well that's nice of you. Glad I don't work for you then. You obviously lack basic empathy.

Have a lovely day up there on your high horse.

Option 3