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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Advice please :autistic child is not allowed to colour in lessons

103 replies

Dispairrepair · 14/09/2023 19:38

Any advice please, my dd is autistic, highly intelligent but can't cope with exams and has started college.
She can't self regulate and talks a lot. One of her coping mechanisms is colouring in and I've been assured in the past by tas and teachers that she is OK with this and can still concentrate but, becomes distracted anyway and will need occasional reminding to keep on task.

She says her new teachers repeatedly ask her to stop colouring?

Is this expected now she is in college or should we expect them to accommodate this need? She finds sitting in one place hard and she fidgets.

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 14/09/2023 20:00

Are the new college teachers aware that she is autistic and that this is her coping mechanism? I would tell her to stop colouring if I didn't know. If they do know, then I would expect them to make adjustments.

Dispairrepair · 14/09/2023 20:15

Yes they definitely know, there was a transition handover. I'm not sure the colouring was even mentioned because so many other issues were covered and we have not had issues with this before because she does the work.

I'm nervous about raising it because when we have raised other things in the past with the school (old school) we did get some issues with teachers.

I'm not sure what to do this place was recommended to us for being understanding.

OP posts:
MrsRobinStrike · 14/09/2023 20:18

So they know she's autistic but don't know colouring is a coping mechanism?
So tell them

OvertakenByLego · 14/09/2023 20:19

Although the college know DD has ASD are you sure the message has been passed on to individual teachers/tutors?

If colouring in is essential, you need to discuss it with the SEN department.

dramallamadingdongdo · 14/09/2023 20:20

Out of interest what is she going to do when she starts work?

somethingsomething1 · 14/09/2023 20:28

I assume she doesn't have an EHCP ? I'd get in touch with her SENco or the tutor/coach (whatever they are called at her college) and make sure she has an individual plan and that everything she needs in order to feel regulated in class is covered in there. And then keep on at college until they actually implement it. Been there and done that and unless you make a nuisance of yourself, nothing will change.

halesie · 14/09/2023 20:30

Agree with PPs, speak to the SENCo team and get it included as a reasonable adjustment - and use that specific phrase, I find it tends to focus the mind.

@dramallamadingdongdo reasonable adjustments are a legal requirement for employers under the Equality Act too... there are plenty of ND professionals who need regular breaks, doodle through calls etc.

Dispairrepair · 14/09/2023 20:31

@somethingsomething1

She does have one and it clearly states she finds staying in one seat hard.

It' feels very early for me to be doubt this, I would have thought its pretty obvious it's a coping mechanism.

@dramallamadingdongdo we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
I'm not sure we ever will

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 14/09/2023 20:34

Information for new students may only just be filtering through to teachers, as this is a particular problem I'd email the college and ask that they email all her teachers directing them towards her SEN info and re-iterating that she should be allowed to colour in lessons.

fairyfluf · 14/09/2023 20:36

You have to explicitly tell them about the colouring. Otherwise they won't know.

comedownwithme · 14/09/2023 20:37

dramallamadingdongdo · 14/09/2023 20:20

Out of interest what is she going to do when she starts work?

Urgh. There is always one.

RaisedOnADietofBrokenBiscuitsOh · 14/09/2023 20:39

dramallamadingdongdo · 14/09/2023 20:20

Out of interest what is she going to do when she starts work?

Still be autistic.

Dispairrepair · 14/09/2023 20:40

@noblegiraffe
Perhaps but she has one main teacher and then different ones for English and maths.

Maybe I should wait a few weeks and see how she gets on.
Then try and speak to them about it, if by then they have not allowed it.
I feel deflated because this place was pointed out to me as somewhere that handles sen well and has a strong sen team.

OP posts:
somethingsomething1 · 14/09/2023 20:41

exactly

GuanYinShanxi · 14/09/2023 20:44

My DD is autistic and she drew little cat doodles but as she is getting older she now uses fidget toys as an accommodation in class. The school/college should keep accommodating your daughter. You could see if any fidget toys might work better compared to colouring in now she is older?

EvilElsa · 14/09/2023 20:44

Don't be nervous about raising it with college. Tell them you need to find a solution that works for everyone, it doesn't have to be a confrontational conversation or criticism.
I have a son with autism so I do understand!

MuggleMe · 14/09/2023 20:45

I'd just drop main teacher and or senco an email saying, you'd like to explicitly advise that the colouring is a coping mechanism and please advise all the teachers that it needs to be accepted. Any issues, let me know. Assume it's an oversight but do flag it.

OvertakenByLego · 14/09/2023 20:46

Speak to the SEN team now. Does the plan specifically mention colouring in?

noblegiraffe · 14/09/2023 20:46

Maybe I should wait a few weeks and see how she gets on.

No! Just email them now! Honestly, it's fine.

GuanYinShanxi · 14/09/2023 20:46

Dispairrepair · 14/09/2023 20:40

@noblegiraffe
Perhaps but she has one main teacher and then different ones for English and maths.

Maybe I should wait a few weeks and see how she gets on.
Then try and speak to them about it, if by then they have not allowed it.
I feel deflated because this place was pointed out to me as somewhere that handles sen well and has a strong sen team.

I’d speak to the SENCO and ask them to send all your DD’s teachers information about accommodations for your DD. it shouldn’t be up to you or your DD to inform each teacher.

My DD also has a pass to just leave class and go to a quiet study room if she gets sensory overload.

Balloonhearts · 14/09/2023 20:47

I think they should be making allowances for her if they are aware that this is a coping mechanism but think ywbu to expect them to be reminding her to stay on task.

College is not like school, its not mandatory and the students are responsible for their own learning and expected to do a certain degree of self management.

They are not teachers teaching children entitled to be educated in the national curriculum.

The students are adults who are there to gain a qualification. If she is struggling with something or needs adjustments to be made then she will find she needs to speak up and ask.

It's a very different environment from school. I recall my friend at college who had what was then called Aspergers syndrome struggling with the unstructured nature of college.

Basically we came in, had a lecture and then were left to complete our days work for the current module to the standard we were aiming for (pass, merit, distinction) once this was completed we could just go.

He hated this, couldn't regulate his own workload and time and we urged him to speak to our tutor who sat there through his own lunch break drawing up a timetable for my friend to split the day into blocks of time and writing out what he needed to achieve by what time, lunch break etc.

Ultimately they want to support your daughter to succeed but she is going to have to get used to being treated like an adult now whose education is her own responsibility and her say is what counts. It's what she says now that counts, what she wants. Tell her to talk to the tutor, explain her difficulties and what she needs to help her achieve her goals. They may not even be aware of her autism if she hasn't told them, it's not like school where they have an education plan

Explain that she has difficulty concentrating and when she is colouring she is actively listening and processing what is being said. Once the tutor understands what is actually happening, I'd be very surprised if she has a problem with it. She probably just thinks your dd is goofing off and being rude. Learning to self advocate and ask for what you need is never a bad thing.

Escapetofrance · 14/09/2023 20:49

Keep reminding them until they listen. Email, phone, have more meetings etc. Don’t apologise or hesitate in telling them what helps your dd. Sadly, there are still teachers who think autistic children just need to behave and sit still and struggle to accommodate differences. I’m a teacher and I see this all the time.

fairyfluf · 14/09/2023 20:57

Can you ask if they'd prefer a certain type of pen/pencil etc? Perhaps work with them to find the quietest?

Pinkandgreentrousers · 14/09/2023 20:58

I work in a college in the learning support department. Definitely ring and ask to speak to the SENCO.

MidnightOnceMore · 14/09/2023 20:59

dramallamadingdongdo · 14/09/2023 20:20

Out of interest what is she going to do when she starts work?

Loads of people doodle at work.