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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I tight? Or is my friend?

30 replies

catmom93 · 14/09/2023 11:27

Went to dinner at a friend's house and we decided to watch a movie afterwards. She mentioned a recent release on amazon prime, I said “Sure, that one sounds fun.” But she then pointed out “We'd have to pay for it though."

I suggested a few of the free movies and she dismissed all my suggestions - basically, we we going to watch the new release. So I handed over my half - a couple of pounds - but I was a bit bemused.

Part of me thinks maybe I was cheeky to expect her to suck up the cost as the host, but the other part keeps thinking “I can’t believe she charged me to watch tv in her house!”

If it was the 90s and we were walking down to blockbuster for a specific movie I'd expect to split the cost, but as an adult invited to someone else's home for the evening, I wasn’t really expecting to open my wallet! Am I being tight? Or was she?

OP posts:
Ifulikepinacoladas · 14/09/2023 11:29

She was. That's embarrassing. Especially after u suggested free films.

BrendaMcPherson · 14/09/2023 11:31

She should have paid. She wanted to watch the film that cost money and you were happy to watch free films.

KStockHERO · 14/09/2023 11:34

She was being tight.

I don't think splitting the cost is terrible per se if there are particular reasons for doing so - like its super expensive or she's skint. But it doesn't seem like there was a reason to split it.

It sounds like you're close enough friends that she could've said "Mate, sorry, I'm a bit skint this month. I know its only a few quid but I need every penny I can get right now". To which, I'm guessing you'd have happily suggesting paying the full cost, or splitting the cost.

irregularegular · 14/09/2023 11:35

Did she ask you for the money, or did you offer it? If she asked, that is quite rude. If she just accepted, then not particularly.

Kind of odd behaviour among adults (I can imagine teenagers splitting the cost of a film they rented at home) but not worth worrying about.

SamW98 · 14/09/2023 11:36

YANBU your friend is being ridiculously petty

SleepingStandingUp · 14/09/2023 11:41

Whether she asked or you offered, she should have paid as the host, or to thank her for cooking you could have paid. It's the paying £2 each and handing over the cash like that that makes it feel odd I think.

Beautiful3 · 14/09/2023 11:45

If I was hosting and you were fine with the free movies, it on me if i want to watch a pay per movie. Your friend obviously wanted to watch it, so she should have paid it! How embarrassing to ask you for a few quid.

ComtesseDeSpair · 14/09/2023 11:52

To me, it’s a bit tight. But I don’t struggle for money. If she’d already paid for the food to have you over for dinner then perhaps she had the cost on her mind and just saw the movie fee the same way as cinema tickets, where you’d expect to pay for your own.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 14/09/2023 11:52

"I suggested a few of the free movies and she dismissed all my suggestions - basically, we we going to watch the new release. So I handed over my half - a couple of pounds - but I was a bit bemused."

I'm wondering what happened here. I would have said "I'm not that bothered about watching it" and then I'm struggling to see how you ended up paying. Did you offer or did she ask? If you offered - WHY? If she asked I would have said "I don't have any cash". The I'd have been pissed off and so I'd have had to leave not long after. The I might stop doing stuff with her because this is SO weird!

VioletPickles · 14/09/2023 11:54

Did you offer? Or did she ask? Either way it’s very tight.

ICanSeeMyHouseFromHere · 14/09/2023 12:08

She was tight. Reminds me of a guy I knew who'd ask for his half of a supermarket takeaway cost to be transferred immediately, forgetting that I was supplying a bottle of wine that cost about the same as the takeaway.

TregunaMekoides · 14/09/2023 12:09

How much was it?
Some new releases are £15 plus. If your friend is on a tight budget then I can I suppose understand her wanting to share - but only really if you'd suggested it.
Given you gave free alternatives you'd like to watch I think it was a bit cheeky and sounds like she's been wanting to watch it but not spend money on it!

Brightandshining · 14/09/2023 12:11

Really depends on her financial situation. But if she's doing fine then yes, its tight. I mean if she was hard up she couldve just explained 'I really want to watch this film but im quite skint would you mind going halves with me on it?' Without saying that she does just seem like a very petty person.

KaySararSarar · 14/09/2023 12:12

YNBU - very tight as a host!

Poppyseed14 · 14/09/2023 12:12

She was tight OP. How much was it?

ManateeFair · 14/09/2023 12:14

Yeah, I wouldn't dream of expecting someone to pay me for streaming a film that I had insisted on watching, in my own home. As you said, there were plenty of free films you could have watched. It was her that chose the paid-for option.

Undisclosedlocation · 14/09/2023 12:37

I think giving headspace to it either way is a bit tight from both if you tbh.
Did you contribute booze or anything to the meal? If not, I can see she might feel a bit aggrieved about stumping up for the movie too

toomuchforonewoman · 14/09/2023 12:38

You both are...her for expecting it and you not offering it.

Echio · 14/09/2023 12:55

Okay I can definitely see both sides here.

I never pay for new releases, so as the host I would definitely comment 'oh no let's look for a free one' without even thinking I was being tight - it's just my policy not to waste spend money on it.

And I think - along those lines - it's a bit like, with my friends, if we end up hanging out longer than planned and think about getting a takeaway together, it would be quite usual to offer to chip in for a takeaway, whereas as I wouldn't be chipping in for 'ingredients'. So I can kind of see it's a bit like that - an unexpected expense that you'll both benefit from equally.

On the flip side, so long as I wasn't feeling really pinched that month, as host I would usually totally bat away offers of contribution.

ManchesterLu · 14/09/2023 13:06

I can't imagine ever asking someone for a few quid in this situation. I could understand if she was really hard up, but if that was the case surely she'd agree to one of the free movies, and not host evenings at hers in the first place?

Namerequired · 14/09/2023 13:14

Did she want to watch it but didn’t want the cost so invited you? It’s funny how she insisted on it but then made a point of the cost (which is asking you if she didn’t directly ask you).
If she cooked/paid for the meal then I would laugh it off. If she didn’t I would think she was especially tight.

BrawnWild · 14/09/2023 13:15

Shes tight. If she was that hard up for cash, where literally every pound counts, she would have chosen to watch something free.

She badgered you into it so you would pay half for something she would have bought anyway.

starfishmummy · 14/09/2023 13:47

ICanSeeMyHouseFromHere · 14/09/2023 12:08

She was tight. Reminds me of a guy I knew who'd ask for his half of a supermarket takeaway cost to be transferred immediately, forgetting that I was supplying a bottle of wine that cost about the same as the takeaway.

If he was fully sharing the wine, then my reply would have been "shall I deduct your half of the wine, or do you want to transfer that to me?" Easy.

I had a friend a bit like that guy; we'd been part of a group at uni in the dark ages where people did just pay for themselves or split costs equally because none of us had much money. He'd just not moved on from those days, decades later!

TomatoSandwiches · 14/09/2023 13:53

Did she rent it or buy it?

yellowsmileyface · 14/09/2023 14:08

Seeing as you would have been happy to watch a free film, I think she should have paid.

Generally I wouldn't split the cost of something of which half would only be a couple of quid anyway. I'd just pay the full amount myself. If money's really tight for her she probably shouldn't be renting films.

However, unless she has form for being a bit stingy I'd just let it go.