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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you apply for a job with someone you didn't like as your manager?

44 replies

Tapasita · 14/09/2023 11:23

I'm posting here for traffic and would really appreciate other's thoughts on this. A good internal job opportunity has come up in the organisation I work for. It would be a promotion for me, and I've had a chat with one of the individuals who will likely be on the interview panel to sound it out - she is lovely, easy to speak to and said she would welcome my application.

The issue is this: the successful candidate is likely to be directly managed by someone I know of old, who is very caustic and uncommunicative - and has a freezing cold personality. She has form for "putting people in their place," and is a formidable presence. She is also well known for being quite rude, snappy and abrupt. If I were to get this job, I would be line-managed by her. I've sat in meetings with this person and never, not once, seen her smile. I've never directly worked with her but even my current senior manager told me that she snapped at her when she first started for getting her job title wrong!

I'm really torn as to whether to apply. Would you apply for a job knowing you'd have a tough time of it under your new manager?

OP posts:
TheBarbieEffect · 14/09/2023 11:23

Nope. Not worth it. Too much time is spent at work to be around people like that.

Tambatamba · 14/09/2023 11:24

Definitely not. After being on the receiving end of a narcissistic, gaslighting boss who made my life hell.

bjrce · 14/09/2023 11:25

No, don't even think about it - the majority of people move jobs because of their manager - Its not worth it.

GCAcademic · 14/09/2023 11:25

No. I speak from bitter experience: the impact a bad manager can have on your health and career should not be underestimated.

Scunnered123 · 14/09/2023 11:25

No, happened to me and I'm glad I didn't.

Tohaveandtohold · 14/09/2023 11:26

Not a chance, good thing you already know as well.

MarvellousMinnie · 14/09/2023 11:27

Ditto everyone else.
I had to leave because of my line manager. In fact it's made me reluctant to look for another job as I just can't take the risk of finding someone similar.

Ohmylovejune · 14/09/2023 11:27

No. And it's a good chance that her attitude is why there's the vacancy anyway.

Princessfluffy · 14/09/2023 11:29

I wouldn't consider taking a job with a line manager I disliked.

Cyllie33 · 14/09/2023 11:30

No, I absolutely wouldn’t.

My only question would be whether you actually do know this person if you’ve never worked with them directly - sometimes I might have thought someone a bit standoffish or cold but we’ve got on quite well once I’ve got to know them. I’m not sure from your post whether you’re going off what you know or what you’ve heard - but I would trust your instincts for sure, unless it’s a job you could easily move away from if it doesn’t work out.

Missingthegore · 14/09/2023 11:31

Not in a million years

happyinherts · 14/09/2023 11:32

Echo all the above comments. Not a chance. Don't even think about it.

BraveMaeve · 14/09/2023 11:32

Could you talk to someone who has been managed by her before to see if she's different with her own team? If not I would definitely not apply, sorry. I'd find it too stressful.

Orangello · 14/09/2023 11:32

No. Bad manager will ruin everything.

Insommmmnia · 14/09/2023 11:32

Have you spoken to anyone currently managed by her?

I have worked for someone who could fit that description and dreaded moving into her team but actually her team all liked working for her. It turned out that her being formidable and abrupt etc was all about protecting her team and making sure they weren't pushed around.

If on the other hand her team hate working for her I wouldn't go for it a bad manager can be absolutely hell

CandlestickInTheLibrary · 14/09/2023 11:33

Nope - a bad manager was the reason I left my previous job. Everything else was great but she made me so miserable it became unbearable.

stayathomer · 14/09/2023 11:34

I had that manager in my early 20s (43 now). I loved the work and the people and I’m a positive person and I made it through two years with her before I asked could I move to another section (I told them it was for experience 😅). If you can suck it up and you get huge benefits from working in the job then yes, otherwise, what everyone above said. For what it’s worth now I definitely couldn’t hack it

Islandsadness · 14/09/2023 11:37

Depends, could you also learn from her and be challenged by her?

Oneisthree · 14/09/2023 11:38

No. A bad manager can ruin the best job and ruin you too.

HollaWithDaRisinSound · 14/09/2023 11:38

No

ManateeFair · 14/09/2023 11:47

I'm sure everyone has different views on this, and for some people, liking/getting along with colleagues isn't so important to them provided they know they can do the job. But personally I wouldn't apply for a job where I knew from the off that I didn't like my manager.

When I've left jobs, in most cases it's actually been because I didn't like my manager. I don't need to be best friends with my bosses or anything, but I at least need to feel comfortable with them and know that they're a reasonable, fair and general personable human being.

I knew I'd done the right thing in leaving my previous job when my manager at the time told me off for the (perfectly normal, polite and appropriate) manner in which I had handed in my resignation.

anicecuppateaa · 14/09/2023 11:48

Definitely not.

FictionalCharacter · 14/09/2023 11:53

Definitely not. I’m my career I’ve had two really awful managers and in both cases my working life was so unbearable I had to leave. I really appreciate having a good manager now.

@Insommmmnia makes a good point though. I knew one senior person who seemed very unlikeable- she was abrupt, could be rude (once when I said hello to her she just stared and turned away without replying). Then I met someone who had worked for her and he said that she was socially awkward but actually a very supportive manager.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 14/09/2023 11:56

Only if I knew it would be a stepping stone to something else. Otherwise, absolutely not.

Illegallyblonder · 14/09/2023 11:58

No! I bad line manager make life a misery, don't do it.

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