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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you apply for a job with someone you didn't like as your manager?

44 replies

Tapasita · 14/09/2023 11:23

I'm posting here for traffic and would really appreciate other's thoughts on this. A good internal job opportunity has come up in the organisation I work for. It would be a promotion for me, and I've had a chat with one of the individuals who will likely be on the interview panel to sound it out - she is lovely, easy to speak to and said she would welcome my application.

The issue is this: the successful candidate is likely to be directly managed by someone I know of old, who is very caustic and uncommunicative - and has a freezing cold personality. She has form for "putting people in their place," and is a formidable presence. She is also well known for being quite rude, snappy and abrupt. If I were to get this job, I would be line-managed by her. I've sat in meetings with this person and never, not once, seen her smile. I've never directly worked with her but even my current senior manager told me that she snapped at her when she first started for getting her job title wrong!

I'm really torn as to whether to apply. Would you apply for a job knowing you'd have a tough time of it under your new manager?

OP posts:

Floating101 · 14/09/2023 12:03

Agree with the poster who suggested talking to those who currently work for this manager. I applied for a new position working with someone I'd never come across before - every person I mentioned it to said the same kind of thing - 'OMG - her name? You don't want to work for her!, dragon, really difficult etc, etc' I didn't back out as my current job was coming to the end of contract but was terrified she'd be awful. I got the job and 5 years later still work for her. Like someone else said - might be different entirely if you work directly for them. Don't get me wrong - might be awful - hard decision. Would be a shame to miss out on a good opportunity

PinkFootstool · 14/09/2023 12:05

Absolutely not. And I'd be telling the nice manager why not.

Mauricemossy · 14/09/2023 12:08

No.. a manager will make or break any job.

DilemmaDelilah · 14/09/2023 12:10

There are two particular people I would rather leave my job than work directly under. However... In this case although this person sounds like hard work, you don't actually know them so you can't actually dislike them, you can only dislike what you think they are like. It is perfectly possible to work under somebody whose personality isn't one that you gel with, in fact it can be a positive experience as you can know what you are dealing with from the start.

Just have a think about whether this person's personality and says of working are something you can work with, rather than whether you like them, before making a decision.

SunRainStorm · 14/09/2023 12:10

Nope nope nope.

You've dodged a bullet there.

Original poster

Tapasita · 14/09/2023 12:16

@DilemmaDelilah

It is perfectly possible to work under somebody whose personality isn't one that you gel with

Hmmmm - not for me it isn't

OP posts:

Ponderingwindow · 14/09/2023 12:17

It doesn’t sound like you actually know this woman well.

you have a general description of her, but it is one that ends up getting applied to many woman who aren’t particularly warm with bubbly personalities. Women who are serious or women who are autistic are often described as cold or standoffish. When people actually get to know them though, they may find the reality is very different.

you have to make a decision on if you want to take the chance. She could be an awful manager or she could turn out to be a fabulous mentor and your greatest defender.

You are closer to the situation, have a better read on her than a brief internet description, and most importantly know how long you will need to wait for a similar job opportunity. All of these things should factor into your ultimate decision.

Catsmere · 14/09/2023 12:18

No way. Worst jobs I had were down to arsehole managers. Forewarned is forearmed - avoid!

TheFireflies · 14/09/2023 12:23

Never in a million years. My manager is the most important factor for me in whether I take or stay in jobs.

Ponderingwindow · 14/09/2023 12:23

Tapasita · 14/09/2023 12:16

@DilemmaDelilah

It is perfectly possible to work under somebody whose personality isn't one that you gel with

Hmmmm - not for me it isn't

this Cross posted with my initial response.

if this is your truly your attitude and not just a pithy response, then I’m going to change my advice. You likely won’t do well with a serious manager.

UpperLowerMiddleClass · 14/09/2023 12:25

I’d consider if it I thought it was likely she’s move jobs in the next year or so. If she’s one of those people who spends a couple of years in a role, and then moves on, you could just grit your teeth for awhile. But if she’s been there a decade and looks set to stay there another decade, then I’d avoid.

Original poster

Tapasita · 14/09/2023 13:00

@Ponderingwindow

if this is your truly your attitude and not just a pithy response, then I’m going to change my advice. You likely won’t do well with a serious manager.

I'm not sure I understand you. It's not a pithy response, I need to be managed by someone who is communicative (this lady isn't) and who I feel comfortable opening up to, asking questions of etc. Not somebody who makes me feel stupid for trying, as this person has in the past. And I'm not hte only person to feel that way.

OP posts:

Original poster

Tapasita · 14/09/2023 13:01

@UpperLowerMiddleClass

If she’s one of those people who spends a couple of years in a role, and then moves on, you could just grit your teeth for awhile.

She's been here for over 20 years!!! Not a mover-on

OP posts:

BasicPumpkinSpice · 14/09/2023 13:02

No way. Every job I've left is because of a crap manager.

amusedbush · 14/09/2023 13:04

Absolutely not. I've had two horrendous managers and they are 99% of the reason I left those jobs. I actually left a permanent job for a temporary contract just to get away from one of them, because I'd had a string of unsuccessful interviews and my mental health was at breaking point. She was a complete arsehole and I gave it three years before I just had to go.

I finally have a lovely, approachable, reasonable manager who trusts the team to get on with things and I can't overstate how much happier I am at work.

Original poster

Tapasita · 14/09/2023 13:04

@BasicPumpkinSpice

No way. Every job I've left is because of a crap manager.

I suppose in my heart of hearts I feel that ultimately, we work for a person, not just an organisation. I too have had a bad experience with a manager in the past, but it does seem to be the deciding factor in why many people leave otherwise comfortable jobs 😟

OP posts:

MrsAnon6 · 14/09/2023 13:12

If she's this awful, why hasn't she been called out on it before? It baffles me that people like this just get away with it in the workplace. She shouldn't be in a position of power if she makes people feel that way.

hahahahahah · 14/09/2023 13:39

It really depends how much I dislike/don't get on with the other person; how much I will be in contact with them; how much I like the job and so many other factors.

If this is a job I love, there are supportive colleagues, I will not see too much of the manager, and despite what I feel, I know the manager is fair, then yes, I could accept that the job was good, but I did not like the manager.

TheFlis · 14/09/2023 13:45

It sounds from the OP like you’re not actually 100% she would actually be your line manager? In which case you should still apply and cross that bridge if you come to it. You might not even get the job this time but it might lead to other opportunities based on your interviews.

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