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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twins - Uni Costs

69 replies

probablyread · 13/09/2023 19:08

DH and I have two children, twins. They are 18, moving to uni this week.
We are in a position to put them through uni loan free (we live in the north, so our living coats are very low). DS is going to uni in the north, his accommodation works out at £7440 (£186pw) for the year. DD is going to uni in London, her accommodation is £10,400 (£260pw) for the year. They are both staying in accommodation that is sort of middle of the road price wise at their unis. DD found it impossible to get anywhere cheaper as the cheaper ones go very quickly and are often reserved for low income students. DS could have but wanted somewhere nicer/better location.
Both have worked jobs all summer (and since they were 16 infact) so have some savings, DD did do a couple of holidays though so lacking a little on the savings front. DD has a job lined up starting next week, similar to her current job. 14 hours a week (2x7 hour shifts) at £11.50 an hour, so will have her own money. DS is doing a science degree so is waiting to get a feel for the workload before deciding to get a job or not.
To cover day to day living costs we were going to deduct their accommodation costs from the maximum loan (London weighted for DD). So £2622 for DD, £2538. Basically £290 over 9 months. This seems like a lot!!
DD will be making over £500 a month working and DS has thousands in savings!! I don't want to be funding drinking or such, I feel like they can pay for that themselves. I was thinking instead we'd give maybe £30/40 a week, which should be enough for shopping. They are both walking distance from their campus so not worried about transport costs. DD is walking distance from work too.
DH thinks this is cruel, max loan students in their accommodation will have more so we should even the playing field, not punish them for working/saving.

AIBU to think students don't need £300 a month to live on? Is DH right?

OP posts:
Iamanisland · 13/09/2023 19:12

We've taken the route of your DH - what they've worked for and saved is extra for them. Feel lucky we can do that.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 13/09/2023 19:18

We have 2 x DD. They both take the loans.

We pay all their accomodation and give them £100 per week food/partying during term time.

I will only give them money if they DO NOT work during term-time, as I would rather that they study and have fun.

Any money they make in the holidays and savings are their business. They also scrounge money left right and centre off us when they are home.

Darthwazette · 13/09/2023 19:21

My mum gave me £300 a month 20 years ago!!

I think, if you can afford it, making up their income to what the maximum loan is would be ideal.

You’re not exactly rolling in it on the full loan amount.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 13/09/2023 19:25

290 a month isn’t that much to cover all food, socialising, books, clothes

WhoPutCrabsticksInMyBedroom · 13/09/2023 19:25

On maximum loan I had to pay for everything. Accommodation, food, travel, accommodation and food over the holidays, clothing, books, uni trips everything. So many on full loan won't be in a better situation.

Winterscomingagain · 13/09/2023 19:32

I pay for a delivered Tesco or Asda shop, usually at least 2 per month. It was a great way of ensuring they actually had fresh food, vegetables, some treats etc.

WillowCraft · 13/09/2023 19:54

I would give them the difference between full loan and accommodation as your husband suggested. Otherwise they might prefer to take a loan. 300 a month isn't that much, there will be text books, clubs or societies to join, weekend trips away, clothes, meals out. £30 a week for food is quite stingy.
Working in the holidays is a good idea but working 14 hours a week in term time sounds a bit much to me.

Original poster
probablyread · 13/09/2023 20:06

WillowCraft · 13/09/2023 19:54

I would give them the difference between full loan and accommodation as your husband suggested. Otherwise they might prefer to take a loan. 300 a month isn't that much, there will be text books, clubs or societies to join, weekend trips away, clothes, meals out. £30 a week for food is quite stingy.
Working in the holidays is a good idea but working 14 hours a week in term time sounds a bit much to me.

Really the 14 hours isn't taking much away from DD. Her contact time is quite low (humanities subject), she is working 3.30-10.30 twice a week (Thursday and Sunday). She basically has two half days and one 6 hour uni day, then two weekdays with nothing plus the weekend. I don't think she's going to be scrapping around for time. I also think it will make her CV a lot stronger.

OP posts:
CinnamonJellyBeans · 13/09/2023 20:09

She is meant to be reading and writing when she's not in lectures.

Hellsbellsandspidersankles · 13/09/2023 20:14

probablyread · 13/09/2023 20:06

Really the 14 hours isn't taking much away from DD. Her contact time is quite low (humanities subject), she is working 3.30-10.30 twice a week (Thursday and Sunday). She basically has two half days and one 6 hour uni day, then two weekdays with nothing plus the weekend. I don't think she's going to be scrapping around for time. I also think it will make her CV a lot stronger.

Show quote history

It totally depends what the job is whether it impacts on her CV or not Confused
If it’s bar work / retail, then no.
Besides, you know she’s supposed to be studying beyond the actual contact time?

Original poster
probablyread · 13/09/2023 20:14

CinnamonJellyBeans · 13/09/2023 20:09

She is meant to be reading and writing when she's not in lectures.

It's quite normal to work at uni. I have connections in the industry she wants to work in and all of them have told me having worked will be a pro when she is applying for jobs.
DD doesn't want to work in the holidays anymore (internships, insight weeks, summer courses, travel etc.) so she has to work in term time.

I studied a science degree and manages just fine to not only pass at a top uni but get a 1st.

DD got 4 A* at A-Level while working 8 hours a week and attending school full time ... she will be fine !!

OP posts:
Lonecatwithkitten · 13/09/2023 20:16

14 hours work a week is very achievable, DD is on a degree with 30 contact hours a week with lots of short notice learning (3-5days). She work 14hours a week in a bar last year, this year she has got signed on with a high end catering agency and will get £13ph so is looking to do 10 hours a week.
I saved for 18 years so she has a nest egg that she could either use for uni or save for a house deposit, she choose the later. Her Dad and I are separated he is covering accommodation. She had the minimum loan and I cover her season ticket and things like pointe shoes and other dance shows.

Original poster
probablyread · 13/09/2023 20:18

@Hellsbellsandspidersankles
Totally disagree with that, one of our friends works in the industry she wants to work in and has said 2:1 with internships apply in the dozens. They prefer to employ someone who has worked, dealt with workplace politics/time management/interacting with people from different backgrounds etc.

DD doesn't want to work in the holidays anymore. She wants to be able to travel, do internships and summer courses etc. So she will need to work term time.

Let's stop acting like loads of students don't work while at uni and manage fine.

OP posts:
Hellsbellsandspidersankles · 13/09/2023 20:20

probablyread · 13/09/2023 20:18

@Hellsbellsandspidersankles
Totally disagree with that, one of our friends works in the industry she wants to work in and has said 2:1 with internships apply in the dozens. They prefer to employ someone who has worked, dealt with workplace politics/time management/interacting with people from different backgrounds etc.

DD doesn't want to work in the holidays anymore. She wants to be able to travel, do internships and summer courses etc. So she will need to work term time.

Let's stop acting like loads of students don't work while at uni and manage fine.

Well, you asked for opinions 😂
I have to wonder why, when you’re convinced all will be A OK.
What’s your actual problem?

Original poster
probablyread · 13/09/2023 20:21

Lonecatwithkitten · 13/09/2023 20:16

14 hours work a week is very achievable, DD is on a degree with 30 contact hours a week with lots of short notice learning (3-5days). She work 14hours a week in a bar last year, this year she has got signed on with a high end catering agency and will get £13ph so is looking to do 10 hours a week.
I saved for 18 years so she has a nest egg that she could either use for uni or save for a house deposit, she choose the later. Her Dad and I are separated he is covering accommodation. She had the minimum loan and I cover her season ticket and things like pointe shoes and other dance shows.

Exactly!! Some people here act like having a job while studying will doom her to fail. She has her timetable, she's spoken to ex students who have given her a rough idea of time needed for reading etc. I think her overall contact time is around 12/13 hours a week? So plenty of time to study and socialise and work !!

OP posts:
User183642 · 13/09/2023 20:22

I think you should probably give more to your DS than your DD given his accommodation is so much cheaper and he is studying a more demanding course. In fact if she is earning £500 a month I don’t think you’d be unjustified in saying the accommodation is your contribution towards DD and then giving DS the difference between the accommodation costs split across the academic year to make the overall contribution fair.

Original poster
probablyread · 13/09/2023 20:23

@Hellsbellsandspidersankles

I asked for opinions about the amount we should give them (loud and clear we should make up the difference).
Not about whether or not DD will be able to work.

OP posts:
Original poster
probablyread · 13/09/2023 20:25

User183642 · 13/09/2023 20:22

I think you should probably give more to your DS than your DD given his accommodation is so much cheaper and he is studying a more demanding course. In fact if she is earning £500 a month I don’t think you’d be unjustified in saying the accommodation is your contribution towards DD and then giving DS the difference between the accommodation costs split across the academic year to make the overall contribution fair.

That seems unfair. DS will be working holidays so making money then when DD probably won't be.
DD's accomodation is more because she is studying in London (and her loan would be higher accordingly) not because it is nicer.
We will either make it up to full loan amount for both or give them a separate but equal amount, anything else will cause endless arguments.

OP posts:
Skybluecoat · 13/09/2023 20:26

You say you are putting them through Uni loan free. Do you mean you have paid their tuition fees? That’s a crazy thing to do. Very few students will ever pay it all back.

You would be better off not paying the fees, but giving DC more funds for living expenses so they have the option of not having to work.

waterrat · 13/09/2023 20:27

I worked at uni and remember most people did - a couple of shifts a week is nothing - better than being in the pub 7 days a week as others will be!

I think 300 a month nowadays isn't that much - it feels a bit mean not to give them anything towards socialising if you can afford it. And eating well for 30 quid a week?? that's breadline spending.

People got around 300 a month when I was a student 20 years ago!

Could you do a deal where you will pay a bit more than you were thinking - and they agree to put their work earnings into a savings account

my main life regret is not starting a saving habit when I was student age - so hard to shift the spend it all mindset once you develop it.

Glorifried · 13/09/2023 20:28

We gave ours £100 per week and paid for clubs insurance/kit as that was expensive.

FlyingSoap · 13/09/2023 20:29

Crap, that’s so expensive

I know with twins you haven’t got much of a choice but posts like this steer me more firmly towards only having one DC

OP, I think your DH is right. 400-500 a month each minimum.

Birdsongsinging · 13/09/2023 20:29

I think you need to treat them equally - pay their accommodation and an allowance and whatever they earn is up to them, whether in term time or holidays.

LondonLovie · 13/09/2023 20:30

Surely the starting amount for both is the same £x - accommodation = what they both get. DD less has her accommodation is higher.

If they top it up by working then great. Don't think it does any student any harm to work.

Glorifried · 13/09/2023 20:30

(to clarify, not twins although there was some overlap. It was still cheaper than nursery costs which I remember as being horrific!)