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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Twins - Uni Costs

69 replies

probablyread · 13/09/2023 19:08

DH and I have two children, twins. They are 18, moving to uni this week.
We are in a position to put them through uni loan free (we live in the north, so our living coats are very low). DS is going to uni in the north, his accommodation works out at £7440 (£186pw) for the year. DD is going to uni in London, her accommodation is £10,400 (£260pw) for the year. They are both staying in accommodation that is sort of middle of the road price wise at their unis. DD found it impossible to get anywhere cheaper as the cheaper ones go very quickly and are often reserved for low income students. DS could have but wanted somewhere nicer/better location.
Both have worked jobs all summer (and since they were 16 infact) so have some savings, DD did do a couple of holidays though so lacking a little on the savings front. DD has a job lined up starting next week, similar to her current job. 14 hours a week (2x7 hour shifts) at £11.50 an hour, so will have her own money. DS is doing a science degree so is waiting to get a feel for the workload before deciding to get a job or not.
To cover day to day living costs we were going to deduct their accommodation costs from the maximum loan (London weighted for DD). So £2622 for DD, £2538. Basically £290 over 9 months. This seems like a lot!!
DD will be making over £500 a month working and DS has thousands in savings!! I don't want to be funding drinking or such, I feel like they can pay for that themselves. I was thinking instead we'd give maybe £30/40 a week, which should be enough for shopping. They are both walking distance from their campus so not worried about transport costs. DD is walking distance from work too.
DH thinks this is cruel, max loan students in their accommodation will have more so we should even the playing field, not punish them for working/saving.

AIBU to think students don't need £300 a month to live on? Is DH right?

OP posts:

whathappenedtosummer23 · 13/09/2023 22:23

If you can’t give them enough to live on then they need to take loans. I also think you’re absolutely mad to pay their fees. Have you looked at the repayment calculator? Unless they’re earning huge salary their repayments per month are really small in terms of £££. Looking at that reinforced to me that paying upfront is just nuts

Daisymay2 · 13/09/2023 22:34

£30-£40 per week is very little for food etc My eldest was at Uni in the South East and graduated in 2014 spent £30 a week on food back then.

WhoPutCrabsticksInMyBedroom · 13/09/2023 23:09

whathappenedtosummer23 · 13/09/2023 22:23

This, a million times this. They won't thank you in the future for doing this. A small graduate tax if and when then start earning would be preferable. No one knows what is around the corner, so many loans will never be paid off.
The money you would use for uni would be better put towards housing.

EconomyClassRockstar · 13/09/2023 23:20

Oh please, there is absolutely loads of time for students to work pt if they want to. One of my kids works part time (in a job on campus that they absolutely love) and is a student athlete and still has plenty of time for studying and having fun. They just don't watch as much daytime TV (or nowadays, prat around on TikTok) as I did when I went.

Hankunamatata · 13/09/2023 23:21

14 hours if fine. I used to work all day Saturday and Sunday and Thursday late night as I had to fund myself. I'd go £50 a week for food, buy a rail and or bus pass and do one off equipment/book purchase as needed

Totaly · 13/09/2023 23:34

I agree with them having loans - which they will have to budget for.

Save your money and they can repay the student debt which will be low until they are earning well

Look at Martin Lewis - it’s a free loan for many.

Your job is to treat them equally and fairly. £50 a week is plenty: I’m not paying for ‘fun’ money - DD earns more then me in a shop over the summer - saves £4,000 and then works round her studies.

They don’t appreciate the cost of living if you over subsidies them

If she need more she asks, and is grateful: why would you take their independence away?

Zwicky · 13/09/2023 23:40

I don’t understand what you mean by you are in a position to put them through university - but then you don’t want to actually give them the equivalent amount of money that people who take the loan will get.
£300 a month is not loads of money - especially as it’s only £290 and only over 3/4 of the year. Food, clothes and transport are all expensive. I get that lots of parents can’t afford to top up the loan their dc is entitled to, or give anything at all in the case of those who do get the max loan but what is the logic behind them not taking the loan but also not getting the equivalent from parents? If I were them I’d take the loan anyway and put it in a lifetime isa. Or at least I’d mean to do that but I’d probably spend a big chunk too.

ICreatedAUserName · 14/09/2023 00:46

Can you afford to give them more. They sound like great hardworking kids. I'd give them more.

MissTrip82 · 14/09/2023 03:37

I worked significantly more than 14 hours a week whilst at medical school. Including on full time placements. It is the norm for students who don’t have a trust fund.

I intend to support my child financially whilst at university but I expect them to work also. To me, having a job to help support yourself is not an extra or a distraction at university, it is essential to life.

LumpyPumpkin · 14/09/2023 11:37

You're utterly mad to not be telling them to take the loans. Unless they end up as very high earners, most of it will be likely be written off.

You would be better off telling them to take the loans (all of them) and saving the money and giving it to them when they come to buy a house or something else.

You are just throwing away money paying the tution fees for them, unless they end up very high earners, in which case the lump sum you could give them instead can be used to pay it off.

Read what Martin Lewis of MSE has to say. In most cases it doesn't make sense to pay upfront or pay off student loans early.

Lydiala · 14/09/2023 11:53

Dd went to uni in London. We paid her fees and rent, and gave her £500 a month for living costs. Her halls was catered and provided a cooked dinner, so she only had to cover breakfast and lunch with that money.

Original poster

probablyread · 14/09/2023 16:30

LumpyPumpkin · 14/09/2023 11:37

You're utterly mad to not be telling them to take the loans. Unless they end up as very high earners, most of it will be likely be written off.

You would be better off telling them to take the loans (all of them) and saving the money and giving it to them when they come to buy a house or something else.

You are just throwing away money paying the tution fees for them, unless they end up very high earners, in which case the lump sum you could give them instead can be used to pay it off.

Read what Martin Lewis of MSE has to say. In most cases it doesn't make sense to pay upfront or pay off student loans early.

We have thought it through and are confident with our decision. We still have plenty to offer towards a deposit. The amount of interest charged on these loans and for 40 years now, means you do end up paying an awful lot over the years.
Both of them want careers which are likely to have them earning 6 figures.

OP posts:

whathappenedtosummer23 · 14/09/2023 16:33

probablyread · 14/09/2023 16:30

Show quote history

high earners pay it off really quickly and pay the least interest

Original poster

probablyread · 14/09/2023 16:34

@whathappenedtosummer23
Like I said, we have thought it through and I didn't ask for advice on this.

OP posts:

PrueRamsay · 14/09/2023 16:36

LumpyPumpkin · 14/09/2023 11:37

You're utterly mad to not be telling them to take the loans. Unless they end up as very high earners, most of it will be likely be written off.

You would be better off telling them to take the loans (all of them) and saving the money and giving it to them when they come to buy a house or something else.

You are just throwing away money paying the tution fees for them, unless they end up very high earners, in which case the lump sum you could give them instead can be used to pay it off.

Read what Martin Lewis of MSE has to say. In most cases it doesn't make sense to pay upfront or pay off student loans early.

Agree, it’s absolute stupidity, but some people just can’t be told…

Violetparis · 14/09/2023 16:48

I think £300 a month sounds about right but we will pay for books, uni gym membership, sports club fees. Have bought my DD new clothes before she goes and she will get more clothes if she wants them for her birthday and for Christmas. Have said we will review this as we go along.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/09/2023 16:53

User183642 · 13/09/2023 20:22

I think you should probably give more to your DS than your DD given his accommodation is so much cheaper and he is studying a more demanding course. In fact if she is earning £500 a month I don’t think you’d be unjustified in saying the accommodation is your contribution towards DD and then giving DS the difference between the accommodation costs split across the academic year to make the overall contribution fair.

Really unfair to punish DD for getting a term time job and not going up North

Op I'd look at splitting it over 12 months not nine, which will also cover them for costs if they can't work over the Summer, so no coming to you for cash over the holiday.

That works out about£50 a week which, if you can afford it, send reasonable

LumpyPumpkin · 14/09/2023 17:45

I also want a career that will pay 6 figures. Doesn't mean I'll get it though.

Why take the risk? Why not just save the money and pay the loans off in a lump for them if it comes to it.

Why are you questioning (comparitively) tiny amounts when you are spending thousands unnecessarily.

HerMammy · 14/09/2023 18:20

She is meant to be reading and writing when she's not in lectures.
Meant to be, not all students need every waking hour to study. Every student I know works.

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