I'll probably be told, why did you let them?
But I didn't really have a choice.
And one was one of my oldest friends.
Friend came to stay for two nights, I wasn't guest ready at all as still moving into new home, bit chaotic but she wanted to regardless so we agreed we'd get out of house yesterday
She's always wanted to go to Avebury (somewhere I know very well) so that's
what we decided on. She looked up the weather, said we are due a bit of rain but it's ok, I've got a new waterproof mac...Planned to see quite a few things in the area. I said I'd drive and pay for the petrol, my treat, (she doesn't drive anyway)
I should have realised as soon as got there.. what the day would be like.. she started loading her stuff into my bag, without asking first, as didn't want to carry it (glass bottles of water etc.. I carry a big bag as have a camera.. I really don't want heavy and unsafe bottles in there!)
If you know the village you'll know where the 'rooty' trees are, and one way to reach them is on an exposed ridge around the field edge. This is when it decided to rain...didn't bother me at all, in a flimsy strappy dress it felt great after weeks of heat. Friend gets her mac out... and instantly discovers it's just a windcheater, not in the slightest water repellant.
She literally stood on the ridge, screaming and shouting to the skies like a mad woman, cursing and yelling that she was going to get a cold, she'd be guaranteed to catch a cold...she'd go home ill or get ill once back.. I was just trying to usher her
to the trees which are pretty dense and sheltered under them. She didn't budge.. just stood there shouting, getting more and more wet. Quite the spectacle and not seen her throw a tantrum like this since childhood..
I told her, you can't catch a cold from rain alone.. this angered her, she said 'well I DO' and I remembered that, well, if anyone can, she will.. (we both have
compromised immune systems but hers is, in theory, more serious than mine..)and I knew if she got cold and sat around after in wet clothes, she would start feeling unwell.
Eventually (too late) she gets under the trees with me.. I'm trying to find the driest spot for her... and this woman appears out from one of the trees..
Doing this passive aggressive, pleading /prayer thing with her hands, saying
we've ruined her meditation, it's a quiet place, it's a sacred place, we have to be quiet. I told her I wasn't the one who had been raising my voice, I've been visiting there for over 30 yrs, it's a public place and I was merely trying to help
friend find a dry spot as was worried about her (I was at no point yelling but do talk louder to friend as she is partially deaf and also has tinnitus)
I ended up between two yelling woman.. one cursing the weather and the other ranting about needing peace and to be alone for her meditation . (NOT that they were siding with each other, thankfully!)
Friend and me ended up having hot meals at pub, she dried out quick but cancelled all the rest of the day's plans saying she needs to get back, needs to buy some echinacea etc.. all this for 20 minutes of rain and not having the right clothing. She just couldn't turn the situation around...I also had dry clothing in car which she refused saying she was warm and dry again
We bumped into praying woman again who shot us filthy looks and stomped past. All I can say is, I felt a bit of glee when two very loud coach parties of teenagers arrived! (as a pagan I'm extremely respectful of outdoor places.. so to be accused of otherwise is pretty low...)
So I drove over two hours back to mine, ran friend a bath, gave her some luxury bath products and handed her a glass of wine.
But today mulling it over that we weren't even there for long (for five hours driving), and it really seemed I WAS blamed for the weather/ her getting wet/ also her watch got damp and stopped working. etc etc. Because she chose a 'fashion mac' . She lives in a wet country so it's quite puzzling really! and has a dog she walks..
She is flying home today (an hour's flight) and always catches a bug in the cabin, but of course she'll blame this on yesterday and yours truly will get the blame for that.
Her interfering nosey mother will also blame me (I've had a lifetime of her ) and it will be 'Alltoo, why did you let Sally get wet yesterday? ' (not real name)
And she'll address me like I'm sort of weather goddess who can control the elements but chose not to...
Bear in mind friend is 53 ! (she lives with her parents)
I suppose this should really read, AIBU to expect mentally sound adults to accept self responsibility??
As in, you try out rain coat before a trip. You have on you, what you can't live without, etc. You don't say you are fine with the weather forecast and then
throw a huge tantrum on a hillside when it does what it said it would.
I have other friends similar to this and this is why I end up doing everything alone :(
I guess I need to keep these friends for more gentle, indoor activities and get hardier friends, but so hard at my age and I also work antisocial hours.