To think my car is too clever

[Summermeadowflowers]

I don’t have to put my keys in the ignition which means I spend my life hunting for my keys. It beeps alarmingly at me when I’m parking it I’m close to another car which is unavoidable in most multi storey car parks. It locks all doors except for the drivers ones which means I get out to get children out then realise the doors are locked. AIBU to hate it and want a stupid car?

My car refused to let me drive through a gap it deemed too small...
I would love a self parking car though.

I have a self parking car in order. I'm excited and terrified in equal measure.

I was never taught how to parallel park so I'm totally shit at it. I'm sure the car will be better at it.

I managed to turn off the annoying feature that meant every time I put the cat into reverse, the passenger side wing mirror automatically turned to face the ground. Useful I suppose if parking kerbside, but not useful if on the wrong side of the road and needing to see if it was safe to pull out and really not helpful when reversing onto my drive when I need to see the low wall, not the tarmac. And really unnecessary given the rearview cameras!
I also turned off the lane assist almost immediately - way too scary!!
Haven't managed to turn off the autolock feature which is really annoying as most of my trips involve picking up kids from stations etc where you almost just drive past as they leap in - I cannot remember that I have to unlock the doors from inside.

My bloody car starts beeping at me "please take over the steering". Um....I am steering (well, just holding the steering wheel as I'm on a straight road). Gives me the fright of my life, I mean I hope its actually registering my steering when I do need to steer and doesn't just keep going straight!

@SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs mine does that too - always in the same spot on my journey to or from work! Then it will go for days not doing it before it starts up again. Vorkspring dorsch Technique (apologies to any Germans for spelling!) indeed!!

There's usually a button that you can press to turn off parking assist (which is what is squawking at you while parking)
Ditto for the locking controls.

RTFM!

I had one of the early self-parking cars which was a nightmare. You had to position it perfectly before you started or it just wouldn’t play (I seem to remember you were guided in this by a funny little diagram that appeared on the dashboard and meant nothing to me as I can only understand verbal instructions). If, by pure chance, I managed to overcome this obstacle it would give up in a kind of “okay - you do it if you’re so clever” way and refuse to participate any further in the manoeuvre if I had the audacity to so much as glance at the steering wheel.

I’ve turned a few stupid features off on mine like “lane guidance” as it very helpfully tried to stop me moving across to avoid hazards a couple of times and I had to yeet the steering wheel to avoid it, I did raise it with the dealership as a safety issue or fault but apparently its working as intended and the car will only let you move across a line if you’re indicating at the time… which isn’t massively helpful on a single road with no other cars around and an unexpected hazard in front of you! Mine does this. If I ignore his protestations, he sulks for 5 mins and I get a respite.

What I like is:
the bleeping (even though he’s panicky about our narrow driveway) - it tells me which corner to worry about most if I’m manoeuvring in a tight space.
not having to fiddle with windscreen wipers
not having to keep dipping headlights at night
and, most of all
because I don’t have to put the key in the ignition, it can stay safely in my pocket and I don’t lose it or leave it in the car.

If a car can tell what the speed limit is, and we have things like cruise control, why can’t we have an automatic upper limit to put a stop to the more outrageous speeding offences? Save all that police time administering referrals to speed awareness courses, and stop idiots doing 30 in 20mph limits round schools

DH’s screams (ok, irritatingly bleeps) if I don’t put my seatbelt on while we”re trickling at 10mph down a gated farm track. I find it easier to accept the inevitable and balance with my hands on the edge of the seat so keeping my weight off the centre.

We can, and have.

That would be handy on my son's motability car. It's driven by a number of carers of all shapes and sizes, so has to be adjusted nearly every journey.

These are all features that you should be able to turn off in the settings

I have a brand new car arriving in May, my first ever. Its electric and automatic neither of which I've driven before.

I was thinking that - it’s hard to understand how someone can’t see that’s a useful safety feature!

I was meaning compulsory in all new cars. And not having to be set by the driver, happening automatically in a non-turn-offable way.

Would have saved the girlfriend of a driver near me who hit a wall entering a 20mph area at 80.

I assume you don't live somewhere with narrow country lanes. Not letting you squeeze thought tight spaces could be an issue if you did!

It does explain why some people just stop and make you do the squeezing though!

Mine does this too. I just lift up the bag and put it down again, and somehow that seems to reassure it that there's no longer a bag on the seat that needs a seatbelt on

It would drive me mental. My friends car breaks for her when it thinks she's too close to the vehicle in front!

Hopefully doesn't break! Brake perhaps! 😄

I'd describe mine as primitive. No central locking or electric windows. It's an old truck for agricultural use. Simple easy to understand less to go wrong.

I'm blaming my phone!