To think my car is too clever

[Summermeadowflowers]

I don’t have to put my keys in the ignition which means I spend my life hunting for my keys. It beeps alarmingly at me when I’m parking it I’m close to another car which is unavoidable in most multi storey car parks. It locks all doors except for the drivers ones which means I get out to get children out then realise the doors are locked. AIBU to hate it and want a stupid car?

My intelligent car has decided it doesn't like the keys anymore, won't lock/unlock so I have to do it manually, like we did in the olden days 🤣 well, intelligent car doesn't like being overridden by this so the alarm then goes off. Intelligent car manufacturer want £280 to basically change the key battery and re-code..... intelligent car can fuck off!!

@Disneydance - I wondered what the ‘profile’ thing was all about! I won’t bother setting up a profile.

We've got a "smart" car too. Parking is a nightmare. It starts beeping when you're a metre away, and is in continuous "you're about to crash" beep when there's over a foot left. Aside from being utterly unnerving, it's completely useless. How many UK car parks have you been in where you have a foot either side of leeway?

My 2010 car does the same. I like it!

Mine is always telling me to be in a lower gear, so I put it in the lower gear and the revs tell me differently so now I just ignore the flashing 'up' arrow.

Mine also beeps at me 3 times whenever I open the passenger door, even if the key isn't in it. I know the door is open - I opened it.

I've noticed that modern cars automatically turn the lights on when it's is dark but this feature seems to have been over engineered and you rarely see a modern car without its lights on regardless of the time of day!

Yes, you have to hold down a button for five seconds every time you turn it on to stop it beeping and trying to steer you back into the opposite lane.

DH also has a modern and very sporty car that does none of these things. It just goes where you steer it, and accepts what you are telling it to do with the pedals and gears.

I find lots of cars don't have headlights on when it's foggy or wet. Auto headlights are presumably only triggered by dark, but some drivers have got out of the habit of turning them on,

My 2014 Ford Focus has wind down windows at the back

I think that's because cars have to have daylight running lights now.

Buy a super cheap Korean car with all the basics if its a problem. My 7 year old son sat in the back of an elderly relatives Hyundai recently. He said afterwards ‘to get the windows down you had to wind this funny handle round and round a thousand times, it was hilarious!’

We have a 3.5 year old Hyundai i20. Bought to replace a 10 year old Hyundai i20. It wasn't super cheap ( nor super expensive) and it is quite Smart - but not Super Smart and we love it. It still has a key to lock/unlock it thankfully.

The reversing camera is great and the beeps vary until you get very close. Find it much easier to know how close you are to other vehicles around you. I ignore the 'change gear up' sign but go by the revs when changing gear, the doors automatically lock when it reaches 25 mph ( a good thing IMO). All the doors and the boot can be unlocked, if picking up someone, from a button on the dashboard, so not a problem. The child locks for the back can be set to on or off. Love the Adaptive Headlights when turning the car into our drive or elsewhere. Electric windows. Don't use Lane adjust and one or two other things but very happy with it

Mine refuses point blank to move unless everyone sitting in a seat has clicked their seat belt in.
Really annoying if I'm just wanting to move the car a couple of feet out of the way!

Mine screams its head off at me if I fail to put the seatbelt on a bag I've placed on a seat. Makes sense. After all, it's much safer to have me stopping the car in the middle of traffic and getting out to put the seatbelt on my bag than having my bag sit unsecured...

Mine frequently gets shouted at to STFU! It does the lane assist thing too but I keep it switched on because it fascinates me how wrong it can be. It also tells me to 'take over the steering' when my hands are and have always been firmly on the wheel, warns me about 'low visibility' on bright sunny days and of course, the satnav takes me the most stupid route claiming its faster and I have great pleasure in ignoring it whilst getting home earlier!
The daytime running lights are frustratingly only on the front so if I miss switching the lights onto dipped and the weather deteriorates, I can be going for miles without any rear lights - this is a safety hazard imo and not just affecting my car.

so I put it in the lower gear and the revs tell me differently so now I just ignore the flashing 'up' arrow.
Hate to be the one to tell you this...but an up arrow means change the gear up, not down. You are going the wrong way 😱

Mine screams at me there's a blade of grass behind me when reversing but suddenly goes very quiet as I get nearer to the house. Why?? There's a bloody huge obstacle three feet away and the fecking thing is silent.

Mine automatically lowers the volume on any audio playing while in reverse. Doesn't seem to be a way of over-riding this. Annoying when I miss a crucial bit of a podcast due to parking.

This thread is making me want to hang on to my 14 plate Peugeot 208 forever. I hate, hate, hate being beeped at. It makes me jump just beeping if the petrol light comes on (which rarely happens as I don't often let it get that low) but it doesn't have any other beeps. I actually chose this car over Renault Megane because the Peugeot had a key! I don't want lots of features. I've managed to drive for 42 years without all this fancy technology. My 1st car (mini) had a choke and hand wound windows!

The other day my dashboard lit up to warn me that there had been another car involved in a collision 300 yards ahead of me. Why it thought this, I do not know. It was a little bit wrong though, the collision was way more than 300 yards away!

My car has none of the modern features. No automatic anything, no reversing cameras, no beeps etc. I have to pay attention and look where I'm going when reversing, dip my own headlights, decide for myself when to turn the wipers on etc. I'm in control of everything. That's the way I like it!

I'm not looking forward to ever having to get another, newer car (mine's a 2015 registration, but 2012 design) as I really don't like all the supposedly "helpful features" that other cars have!

I would not be averse to having a completely automatic, driverless vehicle that would do everything, though. That would be a very different matter. I just don't like the half-and-half set up. Either I'm in control or the car is - no in between.

Yes mine is a control freak, it hates me and the way i drive. Lane assist is the work of the devil and i have not even had the courage to use its pro pilot system yet.

One good thing is that it beams things onto the windscreen such as speed and basic sat nav instructions so that i don't need to glance at the touchscreen while driving. Took a while to get used to looking 'through it rather than at it'

I had a Tesla Model S that supposedly did that. In reality it’d decide to do an emergency stop if I overtook a big lorry, would take me to nonexistent chargers, and if I sat in a traffic jam for too long would get bored and drive itself into the car in front.

My car is like this. It suddenly brakes if I'm going round a corner and it thinks I'm aiming for pedestrians on the path. Also it swerves if I get too close to white line in the middle (impossible to avoid on our narrow and windy country lanes) and does this annoyingly loud BEEPBEEPBEEP if it thinks I've left the keys inside (when I've only let a passenger out and I'm still inside). But otherwise it's a fantastic car. Wish it was a bit stupid though!.

If I find myself in a tight parking spot in a car park, my car will, usefully but unnervingly, drive out by itself so I can then open the door to get in.

@INeedAnotherName

That's what I meant 😂

Oh and I always turn off auto full beam as it's slower than I am to respond to oncoming cars and likes to blind them!