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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To search for a small dog that can be left alone during the day?

434 replies

PleasedToBeAFlower · 12/09/2023 21:49

I will accept it if I get flamed by dog lovers for this.
But is there such a thing as a small dog that can be left alone for 5 or 6 hours 3 days a week?
Or is it just completely unacceptable to plan to do this?
My DD aged 9 has a significant educational learning delay. This is affecting her self esteem and self confidence. She is otherwise highly intelligent.
So I need to chanel in to things she loves, so that she can feel good about things she loves and is good at, to compensate for spending all day at school feeling rubbish about herself for not being able to learn.
And boy oh boy does she LOVE dogs. She literally adores them. She cannot pass one without making friends with it. Dogs seem attracted to her. And she's amaaaaazing with them. All breeds, all ages, doesn't matter, she adores them and they do seem to adore her.
She has begged for a dog for 6 years so far. I've always said no.
But I actually think it would be incredible for her to have one.
I have no doubt she would be 100% committed to it, and it would be a lucky dog as she would love it and care for it so much.
BUT it would be alone in the house 3 days a week for about 6 hours a day.
No way round this.
Kids at school.
DH and I go to work, and we dont have jobs that we can take dogs to.
Is this ever, ever, ever do-able???
Or is there never a way to have a dog if it's left on its own?
I realise it has to be fair on the dog, not just what we want.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Beezknees · 14/09/2023 08:30

KLM2023 · 14/09/2023 08:27

What I don’t understand is how people are expected to afford a dog if they are not supposed to be left alone so the owner can go out to work? Insurance, food, vets bills etc are not cheap. Are dogs only for the retired and those that WFH?

Well yes, really. If you have to go out to work all day your lifestyle isn't compatible for dog ownership.

wurlycurly · 14/09/2023 08:34

I have a terrier that is left a couple of days a week for that long. He just sleeps. He is often left for longer with a comfort break in the middle of the day. But he had someone with him nearly all the time for the first few months and we built up the time away gradually and he had a dog walker at lunchtimes for his first two years.

gogomoto · 14/09/2023 08:35

My dog is fine but you won't read that here, many if not most dogs will be but some breeds are more needy. The main thing with a puppy is you need to train them to be left, I started at 3 hours and built up once older. Ddog is a pretty self sufficient breed though, not the kind that are pampered, too big for this requirement though

Alwaystiredmum123 · 14/09/2023 08:35

My two sausage dogs can be left for this long (although we try not to of course). They have a doggy door to our very secure garden and a stair gate so they can’t go upstairs while we’re out. They have each other for company though, which makes a huge difference. Like other posters said, a dog walker could help, or you could leave it at a dog daycare. Good luck :)

gogomoto · 14/09/2023 08:37

By the way doggie daycare and walkers are pretty new, people have always had dogs and many worked. In the past though most people had mixed breed dogs rather than highly strung pedigrees

piscofrisco · 14/09/2023 08:38

We have two JRT's and they are happy to be left 5-6 hours. They literally sleep the entire time. That wasn't the case when they were little however. Couldn't leave them for longer than an hour until they were about a year and a half old.
If we go out for longer the dog Walker comes and lets them out and plays with them for half an hour. Never been an issue and they don't seem to be traumatised.

gogomoto · 14/09/2023 08:41

@XenoBitch

Mine too, during wfh didn't see him for hours on end, if fact he was positively grumpy about the amount of people in the house sloping off to hide under a favourite piece of furniture dragging his blanket because the desk was actually being used.

Working breeds are often left for many hours to their own devices

Helpmepleaseimbusy · 14/09/2023 08:41

First of all, not all dogs are suitable to assist with any kind of special need. The dog will need lots of training. On top of which you need the dog to be left for significantly long hours which is inadvisable.

It doesn't sound like you have the time for a dog OP, and it doesn't sound like you have thought this through.

I say this not just as a dog lover but a degree level qualified trainer working closely with assistance dogs.

gogomoto · 14/09/2023 08:44

@XenoBitch

I have a working breed who neither barks no wrecks the house, they aren't all alike!

Anyway I trained my dog

Namechangedtoanswerthisone · 14/09/2023 08:47

Do you have a friend or neighbour that has a dog that you could borrow from time to time? Take for walks and get to know?

AngelinaFibres · 14/09/2023 08:50

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 12/09/2023 22:07

It’s called a cat.

This. Divert her love of furry dogs towards a furry cat. Then get a cat flap. It will create extra work ,which will I dare say will fall to you, but it's a hell of a lot less work than the hours and hours you will have to put into training a dog.

Shadowchaser · 14/09/2023 08:55

I’ve always had active working breeds (until my last pair which are couch potatoes)

They are exercised, trained, attend training classes and well stimulated. Provided their needs are met I would see no issue leaving a dog 6 hours at all twice a week. I only work 2 days and my dogs couldn’t give a stuff if I’m there or not, they sleep regardless.

It’s a life skill so many dogs aren’t taught!

Hillary17 · 14/09/2023 09:03

Are you planning on getting a dog walker? We work to a 3 hour rule with our cockapoo which does really mean we’ve committed to always working from home or having someone else take care of her on our office days. We have a dog walker who is £12 an hour who drops in if we’re going to be 4/5 hours but for a full day we usually put ours in doggy day care. She loves it and gets a full day of running about with other dogs! It’s currently £22 a day. We wouldn’t ever leave her home alone for more than 4 hours max - it just really isn’t fair but with the walkers etc we make it work.

Crzy · 14/09/2023 09:04

Look at it this way for anyone who questions the 4 hour guidelines, if you’re asleep/in bed for 7-9 hours a day + the 4 hours that’s already minimum 11 hours of the dog being alone, nearly half the day so when you look at it that way you can see why

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 14/09/2023 09:05

KLM2023 · 14/09/2023 08:27

What I don’t understand is how people are expected to afford a dog if they are not supposed to be left alone so the owner can go out to work? Insurance, food, vets bills etc are not cheap. Are dogs only for the retired and those that WFH?

Only in MN land.

In the real world, of course people work and have dogs.

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 14/09/2023 09:06

Crzy · 14/09/2023 09:04

Look at it this way for anyone who questions the 4 hour guidelines, if you’re asleep/in bed for 7-9 hours a day + the 4 hours that’s already minimum 11 hours of the dog being alone, nearly half the day so when you look at it that way you can see why

I don't think you can count overnight as "being alone" though.

IncompleteSenten · 14/09/2023 09:09

Why would it have to be alone for 6 hours, 2 days a week?
You could hire a dog walker to come over about 2.5 - 3 hours in and stay for half an hour to an hour.

vickylou78 · 14/09/2023 09:09

I'd say if you got a dog walker in to walk at middle of the day should be fine if the right age and breed of dog (not a puppy).

Maybe also get a nanny cam so you can see what dog is up to.

Crzy · 14/09/2023 09:11

Altho I will say at your hours and days it is manageable if you have the time off or someone home to acclimate any new dog first as you’ll have to treat it the same as a younger dog at first until it feels comfortable enough to go that long alone and money or a good set up with dog walker/friends/family/ on borrow my doggy or rover or similar for a shortish walk and some attention halfway or at end of you day so dog is only only 4 hours and taken for a long walk before you leave n left with puzzle toy/kong or similar once okay with being left would be fine for that amount of time. As everyone says dogs do last 8+ hours it’s just very much not in their best interests so I don’t think this set up is too wild in comparison with the right set up in place you could easily keep it within the 4 hour alone range.

Crzy · 14/09/2023 09:15

@andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow yes but you see the logic in the 4 hour rule when you think of it that way if you can’t think of the other reasons. And we’re talking about dogs comfortable left alone which in every dog I’ve had will behave the same as if I’m asleep and simply sleep themselves or potter around as I’ve seen from my cams so it’s really not that different the point was the obvious difference in time the dog has company and attention when when you think of it as just 4 hours vs 8 or whatever it may be the difference may not seem as big haha

MitchellMummy · 14/09/2023 09:15

If you plan to get the dog then please research dog walkers/doggy day care BEFORE committing to the pup. So many are over subscribed since lockdown. I have several dogs. Usually with them 24/7 but occasionally leave them for up to four hours. It has been five, max, on occasion but I'd be stressing at that point.

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 14/09/2023 09:17

@Crzy I always think people who say "the dog is all alone overnight" are a bit bonkers really Grin

Using that logic, toddlers are left alone all night just because they're asleep in a different room!

stichguru · 14/09/2023 09:17

Would you be able to get a dog walker? Six hours is a very long time, but I know several people who work and use a dog walker. For example, I have a colleague who does 3 days a week, those days it's dog walk before work, walk with dog walk for 3 hours in the middle of the day and walk again when my colleague gets home.

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 14/09/2023 09:20

MitchellMummy · 14/09/2023 09:15

If you plan to get the dog then please research dog walkers/doggy day care BEFORE committing to the pup. So many are over subscribed since lockdown. I have several dogs. Usually with them 24/7 but occasionally leave them for up to four hours. It has been five, max, on occasion but I'd be stressing at that point.

Yes - I'd absolutely agree with this. You need to book a dog walker before you get the dog.

I'm a dog walker in a small town - there are two others here and we're all fully booked with waiting lists. I had a dog start with me last week who's been on my waiting list since last summer - that's how long it took for a spot to open and that only happened because a client moved away.

Beautiful3 · 14/09/2023 09:25

No, but you could get a cat and fit a cat flap. I've had cats and dog, they're both lovely pets.

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