To over invite to birthday party and hope not everyone turns up.

[NameChangedAgain2023]

DS started reception this week. His 5th birthday is at the end of this month and we have booked a venue that has a 30 max capacity (we’ve paid for up to 30 but can’t go over). We have invited 8 close friends and neighbours outside his class who have all accepted. In his new reception class there are 29 kids including DS. 5 are from his nursery class and we attended their parties last year so they will be invited. That makes it 14 kids incl DS. There are 23 other kids in the class. Would it be too risky to just send 23 invites into school and hope only 16 accept, or some can’t make it on the day? We don’t know these children at all so they shouldn’t feel obliged to join, but of course it would be nice to invite the whole class and meet his new classmates (and future friends) if possible. Do you think 7 out of 24 is too high a number of expected no shows.

the party a local soft play that is within walking distance of the school on a Sunday morning in two weeks time.

Wouldn’t risk it. But also wouldn’t have booked a venue that’s too small for the whole class if you’re planning on inviting the majority of the class.

You need a bigger venue or you need to stick with just inviting his friends. You can’t randomly choose a handful of kids not to invite.

It’s a fair bet that not all of the children you invited would attend, but what would you do if they all happened to show up? You’re asking for a world of aggro and trouble.

I wouldn't risk it. DC1 invited 48 to his party (huge year group and huge party). 47 accepted initially and 4 got I'll and cancelled on the day. We still had 43 kids.

Dc2 party last year had 27 invited and 27 accepted but a family with 2 kids cancel on the day due to totally unforseen circumstances.

You may end up with more kids than you have spaces for.

I thought it would be okay as there were only 24 kids on the July induction day class list, but more must have been added since then as there are 29 now….

It’s a gamble unless you’re willing to let your friends and neighbours know the score beforehand and that you might need to ask some or all of them to go home if all of the classmates do show up: you don’t want your DS starting his first year at school being known as the one whose mum invited classmates to his party then didn’t have enough places for them all.

I'd invite 8 more from his class, the names you hear most often.
But with an eye as to whether that means you have invited 12/15 boys which would be not on.
Leave half the class out.

I wouldn’t. I booked a party with a max. 40 capacity thinking 40 would be excessive but a few wouldn’t come. Well every single kid showed up and a couple of siblings too so I was slightly over. It was utter utter madness (an amazing party from the kid’s perspective though!)

Come on. You know by the laws of the universe that if you do this every single person plus siblings and grandparents will turn up.

In reception getting invited to a party is a BIG deal. The kids are desperate to go so it kind of trumps most other plans.

You don't want to be known as the mother who left wee dc crying outside a softplay party they couldn't get in to!

I'd stick to what you have already tbh

Fewer goody bags and tat presents to deal with.

I def wouldn't risk it. We had almost no declines to DD's fourth birthday at soft play, one was on holiday and one had to cancel on the day as unwell. Otherwise everyone came.

No, it could be disastrous!

Depends if the 40 was a hard number due to capacity or if the party includes 40 kids and you pay extra for any others.

My two cents is that 7 out of 24 no shows is incredibly optimistic. You're more likely to get people turn up with extra toddlers.

To late now, but for anyone who has an upcoming party, I'd start by inviting the class, but give an early RSVP date, then fill in places with the out of school friends. If whole class except you can alway do a separate thing for the family friends.

It's too late now to invite in waves, plus likely to be noticed who got first round invertations. Probably best to just invite the 5 kids he knows, or possibly just the boys if the numbers work better doing it that way.

invite all the class and put a strict RSVP date on with your phone number. That’ll give you an idea of numbers and you can plan accordingly.

It’s VERY risky in a reception class to do this as most parents will make the effort to attend so they can meet the other parents etc.

Sorry Op this is terrible idea. Just invite a few from class.

That's back to front.
The out of school friends are more likely to be actual long standing friends, not random kids the DC might never have even played with before.
The "whole class party" thing really baffles me. Just invite the kids your DC actually likes and plays with.

Agree with others saying this early on in reception you’re more likely going to get more parents making an effort to attend to help kids make friends/get to know parents etc. So it’s very risky to expect 7 out of 23 not to attend.

Can you speak to the 8 close friends/neighbours from outside school to explain you might need them to ditch last minute? Are you close enough for that?

Nooo, are you mad?

In reception, most kids will turn up. Stick with who you've already invited and be under numbers.

Or do two parties, one for the close friends at home (or something else) and have the soft play party at the venue for his class.

I wouldn't risk it personally.

By all means, invite a few of the kids he's mentioned "I played with Sally/I did running with James/I had lunch with Thomas." At this point, he probably doesn't even know the names of all his class yet, let alone care if they come to his party. Stick with the nursery mates, the neighbours and a handful of "mentioned names."

I'm speaking as a reception class teacher here, I promise the rest of the parents won't bat an eye if they hear only a few got invites at this point in the year. Their own kid probably barely knows who your DS is at this point in the term.

Dreadful idea! What on earth do you intend to do if they all turn up? Pick names out of a hat?!

I would do it. 36 isn’t hugely over 30 and can be explained away as ‘siblings turning up’.