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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let 11 year old walk to shops

36 replies

Dfgmaj · 11/09/2023 18:32

I let my 11 year old go to the local shop to buy milk, kitchen roll etc.
Our neighbour bumped into him there and then told me she’s surprised I allow him to do that!

OP posts:
lizzy8230 · 11/09/2023 18:34

Sounds fine to me. How far away is your local shop?

whereismysleep · 11/09/2023 18:34

I used to do tthat from about 8!

It depends on the roads they have to cross, but in terms of independence 11 years is pretty normal IMO. They have to go to secondary by themseves at 11 anyway.

ODFOx · 11/09/2023 18:36

If it was 2 miles or less ( approximately) and with pavements/not along a 60 mph road without verges then it f course it is completely fine. Those are the criteria for school transport, thus government sanctioned. Otherwise only you know your own child and is not your neighbour's business!!

NashvilleQueen · 11/09/2023 18:36

Once they hit 11 they're often at secondary school and walk all over the place. Your neighbour is being ridiculous.

Dfgmaj · 11/09/2023 18:36

@lizzy8230 10 min walk

OP posts:
Tipofthemeltingiceberg · 11/09/2023 18:37

11 year olds travel by public transport for an hour to get to secondary school round my way. Popping to the shops is not an issue unless they have to go through stab alley to get there!

BoohooWoohoo · 11/09/2023 18:37

You need to tell us more about the journey but many 11 year olds go to school without an adult so it doesn't sound weird to me.

Ginmonkeyagain · 11/09/2023 18:37

Huh? When I was 11 I got a public bus 8 miles to school and had to walk 15 mins from school to the town centre bus station to get the same bus back home again. Frequently calling at the shops on the way (to spend my dinner money on Wham bars Smash Hits).

Those in the next village along had to walk 30 mins across the town cente to get a train.

TheChosenTwo · 11/09/2023 18:38

Of course it’s fine!!
Neighbour maybe thought he was a bit younger.

Thewizardbinbag · 11/09/2023 18:38

How is this even a question? At 11, my friends and I were taking the train to the city half an hour away to go shopping and to the cinema.
Pretty sure yours can walk to the local shop.

No wonder so many teens cannot function, they’re not allowed to grow up or have any responsibility as older children and then they fall apart when they have to go to uni.

Dfgmaj · 11/09/2023 18:43

@Thewizardbinbag bit harsh!

OP posts:
Ginmonkeyagain · 11/09/2023 18:44

There was an adorable group of lads at a London train station I was waiting at yesterday lunch time.

I reckon they were between 8 and 11 years old. They were getting the train three stops to go to the cinema and the eldest was handing out jobs (check the number of stops, buy snacks, collect the tickets, check the route to the cinema) with military precision. They were all nodding very seriously.

WhateverMate · 11/09/2023 18:45

Your neighbour really said that?

I don't know what's stranger.

Your neighbour saying that or you (as the parent) asking the internet if it's ok?

Dfgmaj · 11/09/2023 18:45

@Ginmonkeyagain 😃

OP posts:
Redwinestillfine · 11/09/2023 18:46

Your neighbour is being ridiculous ( unless you live near a dangerous rd).

Dfgmaj · 11/09/2023 18:51

@Redwinestillfine not really

OP posts:
bakewellbride · 11/09/2023 18:51

I did that from age 9.

Dfgmaj · 11/09/2023 18:52

@bakewellbride i think that’s too young!

OP posts:
Thewizardbinbag · 11/09/2023 18:59

Dfgmaj · 11/09/2023 18:52

@bakewellbride i think that’s too young!

Are you in England? I’ve learned from mumsnet that school in England won’t let kids walk home by themselves for most of primary school, whereas in Scotland, they won’t let primary 1 kids walk home alone but after P1, the kids are just let out and it’s up to you if you meet them at the school or they walk home themselves.

By age 8/9, loads of the kids go down the high street first to get something from the bakery before they head home from school. Totally normal.

JassyRadlett · 11/09/2023 19:02

Ginmonkeyagain · 11/09/2023 18:44

There was an adorable group of lads at a London train station I was waiting at yesterday lunch time.

I reckon they were between 8 and 11 years old. They were getting the train three stops to go to the cinema and the eldest was handing out jobs (check the number of stops, buy snacks, collect the tickets, check the route to the cinema) with military precision. They were all nodding very seriously.

Aww, they sound a bit like my boy and his mates (11/12) recently - they took the bus to the main shopping area, I met them a bit later to take them to lunch (I sat separately so as not to spoil the vibe) then after they were going to a festival at school and were taking the logistics very seriously - which bus to take, which stop to get off at, who would ring the bell, local landmarks that would alert them that the stop was coming up, did everyone have their zip cards handy....

And then they left the restaurant and confidently turned in exactly the opposite direction to the bus stop. I was quite tempted to let them go and see how far they'd get before one of them looked at a map. I think they'd have figured it out!

BelindaBears · 11/09/2023 19:04

I’d be surprised if an 11 year old wasn’t walking 10 mins to the shops sometimes.

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 11/09/2023 19:06

Your neighbour is bonkers.

I was walking to the shop and back from about 8-9 years of age and that's what I see where I live nowadays too. They walk to school (and back) on their own, pop to the shops and go to the park unacommpanied.

I'd say 11 was actually a bit old to be starting stuff like this.

purplecorkheart · 11/09/2023 19:12

Fairly common where I live for even younger kids. Admittedly it is not busy with traffic . They also walk to school and to sports training

Blinkingmarvellous · 11/09/2023 19:13

My year 7 has come home reporting that most of her new Friends have lunchboxes packed by mum. I do think we sometimes baby kids too much and they don't get the rewards of independence ass result

Whatwouldscullydo · 11/09/2023 19:38

Its fine. Its perfectly normal for kids ro pop to the shop id be more worried if an NT 11 year old was not able to take a hort walk to the local store. Providing the route wasn't a mine field or crossing a motorway or using crocodiles as stepping stones or something