To pay 50/50 in joint account bills

[Daisiesandstuff17]

So neither me or DH earn huge amounts but I earn several £ more per hour, I also work on average 10 hours more per week than he does and I have a small side business that earns me a little extra each month (£50-£100 maybe).

I also have a large amount of savings from inheritance (I never use these savings), and the house we live in was bought in full by me (inheritance and my pre marital savings) so we have no rent/mortgage.

I have a car and I pay all of its upkeep and bills from my personal account. DH doesn’t drive. I use the car for work mostly but we use it for holidays and days out regularly.

When we do jobs in the house, I always pay more, usually quite a bit more but sometimes we go 50:50 on small jobs. For example we had new doors and windows, I paid about 75% of the bill.

All our household bills and food come from the joint account. We each pay in the same amount each month (about £300)

DH has suggested this is unfair given he earns so much less than me and doesn’t have significant savings. I feel it is his choice to only work 20-25 hours per week.

I understand I am financially better off but I feel I have given us the benefit of not having a mortgage or high rent. I don’t live a lavish lifestyle and I save each month. I am happy paying for more of the household tasks like a new kitchen or flooring as I get it doesn’t always need to be 50:50. But I feel I take on enough extra than it is fair we both share equally in our monthly bills.

aibu?

also to add we don’t have any children.

You have a cocklodger in training there…….

He needs to work more hours to get to have more money. It’s not hard to realise that surely, or does he just think you should pay for everything. Shame you married him because he’s got it made now hasn’t he!

While he's choosing to work 20-25 hours a week he doesn't get much say in this.

He needs to increase his working hours.

What is his reason for only working part time if you have no kids?

He works about 20 hours a week, you have no kids and it costs him just £300 a month to live. And he's moaning?? Jesus christ. Tell him to move into rented and see how far £300 gets him

If he's choosing to work part time that's the issue. He can't expect to have the same money for working part time.

Why does he only work 20 hours?

What's his pension situation?

Why doe he only work 20 to 25 hours a week? If it really is just through his own choice then he should be working more and then he'd have more money too.
Does he do more of the household tasks? Otherwise he's just lazy and wants it all without having to put in any real effort and wants you to fund him to do nothing.
I wouldn't be happy with that.

He is absolutely taking the piss?

Where else woud he find a situation that would allow him to work so little and have housing for free?

I would be really concerned for you of divorce ever became an option.

He lives rent free and only works part time? Bloody hell he doesn’t know he’s born! I hope you have protected your investment in the house in case you split?

Well he saw you coming OP...

He needs to work more hours then. And you need to make sure your assets are protected in case of divorce

Does he work fewer hours to do childcare?

I've seen so many theads like this where it is the husband earning more and the answer always seems to be "it's family money" "all goes in joint account".

I've been married 40 years and we don't do joint account, he probably pays more for bills and stuff than I do as he has a higher income. If I want something done in the house e.g. new bathroom, I might pay as I want it. Currently having some work done and I'm paying about two thirds, I'm quite pleased he offered to pay some as he didn't actually want it done.

I don't think there is one right way but what I do think is if you work fulltime, and more, and he works 20 hrs then he should be doing the bulk of housework/cooking etc.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz OP states no children.

I've never seen that when there's been no children. Normally the man expects to not get involved in childcare or housework but wants half the bills paid.
This set up is fair because of the hours he works, I he's chosen his income and thus his disposable income.

OP if he's choosing to work part time this is the consequence, he has less money.

If there is a drop feed that he's got a very good reason for the part time working then maybe I'd have a different opinion. But with the info given it seems he's living very cheaply because of your money!

Is he lovely in all other respects? Because if you have niggling thoughts about him I'd suggest getting out sooner rather than later.

Inheritance that's not been added to the family pot will be most likely ringfenced in a divorce, and if you've not been married for ages the argument for giving him a share of the house won't be there as it's an asset you came in to the marriage with.

From what you have said YANBU. You have already bought the house so he has no mortgage/rent (is this in his name aswell?), so this is the equivalent of you paying the whole mortgage/rent on top of 50% of all other costs.
However, can he afford his half? What are his reasons for not working more? Are there health reasons or does he just not want to? Does he do more around the house? Was it a joint decision for him to work less or did he decide on his own? Does he have a particularly stressful job?

If you’re a partnership, you should support each other and pool resources. I wouldn’t want to be barely surviving while my partner had shitloads in savings and it’s not always easy to get better paying work but it sounds like you’re contributing far more than 50% and he’s not working full time so he’s in the wrong to complain.

I would be very wary of him and his part time job.

Stick to 50/50 particularly if you decide to have children.

You will need it.

He sounds work shy.

Does he do his share in the house considering he has a part time job?

I'll marry you OP

Please don't have children with this guy OP. It has disaster written all over it.

I was going to say it should be in proportion to your income eg 60/40 but then I saw that he only works part time?

Unless there's a particularly good reason that he can't work full time, you're paying more as it is.

Why does he only work part time?
Is the house ring fenced?

This could be expensive for you were you to end it with him.
I'd be looking for some legal advice.

If you don't intend to split then you need to have a serious conversation.