To be sick of competitive parents

[Discoconut]

I really don't understand the obsession and competitiveness over baby milestones. I am constantly hearing other parents make a huge deal of how soon they can get their babies to achieve milestones, but particularly walking. I hear so many parents boast about the age their child walked - or the age they are determined they will walk by. I attend a group where there's a few parents like this, but also another Mum who's little one has a minor developmental delay and it almost feels as if they are saying things pointedly. I get the feeling sometimes it makes her feel like shit.

I honestly couldn't give a monkeys how old my child is when he takes his first steps, or achieves any other milestones, as long as it's all looking good for him to get there in his own time. It's not like you win some grand fucking prize if your baby walks at 9 months old. I have no idea how old I was when I walked. So far, that hasn't had any impact on my life.

AIBU to think that parents who are obsessed with these things only care so they can brag about it? (excluding situations where there might be other challenges for the babies that might have impacted those milestones)

Some mums will be bragging, some will be making conversation, some will just be proud first-time mums in awe of their little ones.

My partner is a bit like it..rushing her to wean ect.
I tell him to chill, they grow up so fast anyway, why rush them? Enjoy them how they are.

Besides i cant judge milestone, my baby does it all back to front haha behind in some not in others.

I think there's an element of trying to big up the positives.
If your baby still isn't walking at 18 months you're going to want to focus on the fact that they were talking before their first birthday.
My DS1 slept through from 4 months and you could set your watch by his naps. His baby brother is an enigma wrapped in a mystery, he does his own thing, might or might not (usually not 😮‍💨) sleep through. He's alot more physical than DS1, bit of a climber, whereas DS1 was a bit lazy and content just to chill out on the floor.
DS1 was and still is streets ahead in terms of speech, but very reluctantly finally potty trained at 3.5 years.
They are their own little people, they didn't read the handbook of when they are meant to do certain things. Parents are just programmed to worry and be relieved by any progress and they want to share that IMO.

I think that some people view the world and everything in it as a competition because they believe that to get something you necessarily have to make sure others don't get it.
Others don't feel as strongly this way, so while they do understand that some things in life are limited, and therefore there is an element of competition to obtain them, they are more flexible in their thinking and believe that alternative paths can be equally positive.
I think that culture and community have a lot to do with how you place on the "competitive scale". Just think about how some nations, South Korea I think, has had to curb tutoring hours to combat private lessons till late at night. I don't know enough about it to say whether the reason was to protect the children or another reason, but it shows how one-upmanship can get out of hand.

Sorry, didn't mean to post then ignore. Been a little busy. Funnily enough I was at a group this morning catching up with some mums I hadn't seen in a while and happily getting updates on what the babies could do now. None of these mums bragged.

There's definitely a difference between sharing milestones and boasting, clearly I'm not the only one who feels that way. And of course I always tell the little ones just how clever they are - despite the fact my child is obviously the smartest, strongest, funniest, brightest baby that has ever existed.

I'll brace myself for the competition as he gets older! Thanks for the warnings.

Two words: Sports Clubs.
Good luck.
(There are some lovely parents involved in these sort of things too, but there are also some, well, characters).
🤐

Yes you are being unreasonable because you have no idea why they talk about it or what it means to them. You say they're bragging but that's just how you perceive it. It matters to some people and doesn't matter to others. That's fine. Leave them to it and don't engage in the conversation if it doesn't interest you.

It doesn’t end, I can confirm as a parent to a 13yo and 10yo. I’m baffled often by the desire to have kids getting an endless stream of medals and certificates and awards to prove their worth. This definitely wasn’t a thing for me growing up and I’m not sure why society demands it now. I think confidence could and should come from somewhere else, somewhere deeper, because certainly in adulthood I don’t expect to get a gold star every week.

Mine are 21 and 22 and at uni... boss said to me the other day "oh, Bath isn't exactly Russell group, is it?".
It truly never seems to stop. (For some)

These are the parents who will one day mysteriously stop taking about their darling dears achievement because no child wants the parent who is interested in what they've done they want to be more important than a cv.