Brother making me uncomfortable

[celestialritz]

My brother (in his forties) lives with my mother. When I go round he is often just wearing shorts and no top. I feel uncomfortable when he kisses me in greeting and said to him today ‘are you going to put a top on?’ He then imitated me using a high pitched squeaky voice, I guess to put me down. Am I being unreasonable to find it odd of him and to feel uncomfortable when he is hot , sweaty and bare chested?

Looking at your follow-up responses, it seems to be that perhaps you have some other issues, maybe even subconscious, that are not really about your brother walking round without a shirt on. You say that you love your brother, and I'm sure you do! But talking about him looming over you and invading your space and focusing so much on him being shirtless reads to me as if your discomfort here is actually about something else entirely - something that's maybe not even connected with your brother, but maybe related to negative experiences with men in general?

My brother also lives with my mum, and while I love him him dearly (and for the most part we get on really well) he can be utterly infuriating and there are times when I've been really angry with him and have told him outright that he needs to step up and stop being an arsehole. However, I can't imagine having a problem with him being shirtless and giving me a hug, and I can't imagine thinking of that in terms of him looming, invading my space etc. If he tried to hug me when he'd just come in from his boxing workout and he was sweaty, I'd probably go 'Urrrgh, get off, you're minging' and he'd laugh. So I'm just wondering if maybe you've had previous experiences (either with your brother or other men) that have affected you.

YANBU to not want to hug your sweaty, half naked brother. YABU to be angsting about it instead of just saying, eugh, keep your sweaty nakedness over there, thank you.

Weird of you to find it weird. There are many other countries where men being barebacked in their own home is a norm and no one would bat an eye. Not wanting to hug/kiss someone clammy is perfectly reasonable, but the bare back thing is fine

When everyone is screaming assault and abuse at minor things it minimises actual abuse. Sounds like normally he would hug and kiss her (in a very non sexual way) and that's fine. She didn't want him to this time because his top was off, he wasn't to know that unless she said. I think it's counter productive to be try to dramatise this and turn it into something that it clearly isn't.

Stop being prudish.

Some nasty comments here about him living with his parents.

Somehow nobody ever gets upset when a daughter stays at home.

Nothing to suggest he's a layabout, smelly or infantilised.

Just a man who wears shorts around his house in a heatwave.

He sounds like an uncouth arse with an entirely unfounded superiority complex.

Ah but he may actually be superior