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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be thinking he must be on a date

39 replies

Luuucieandevs · 10/09/2023 20:57

I have been seeing a guy for a while. Both in our mid 20s. We agreed very recently that we would see each other elusively and that we both really like each other and can see a future together.

I have just been on Instagram has he has put a story up and he’s in the cinema. The photo showed his hands and he is holding 2 tickets for the Barbie movie. Aibu to think surely he must be on a date? I don’t see why he would go to this movie with a friend. I can’t see that happening anyway and it must be a date because he’s holding both tickets, so he must have paid for them both? Therefore surely a date.. I’m not sure what to think

OP posts:
Original poster
Luuucieandevs · 10/09/2023 20:57

Exclusively that meant to say!

OP posts:
Albioncreed · 10/09/2023 20:58

I would just ask him “how was the Barbie movie? Who did you go with”? Could have been his pal? His sister? His niece? His mim?

Freepo · 10/09/2023 20:59

Not necessarily - unless he is a complete arse and also very stupid he wouldn’t advertise it if he were by putting a story up. Ask him how the film was etc and see how he reacts?

Theloftmonster · 10/09/2023 20:59

Message him and ask him to come over. Say you are feeling horny. See what excuse he uses

Jojobees · 10/09/2023 20:59

I wouldn’t assume a date. I’d assume a friend/family member/ relative.

Zanatdy · 10/09/2023 21:00

Well if he wanted to carry on seeing you then he wouldn’t have advertised it knowing you’d see it surely

AllOfThemWitches · 10/09/2023 21:01

Well, consider yourself lucky then. Why does he think he's so important that people need photographic evidence that he's watching a film...

alwaysmovingforwards · 10/09/2023 21:01

You'd be better off asking him than here.

Thegoodbadandugly · 10/09/2023 21:01

Perhaps he's taken his child? Or niece or nephew? Brother or sister?

LiOLeary · 10/09/2023 21:03

Why don’t you just ask him?? Even the stupidest cheating asshole doesn’t just randomly Instagram their cheating.

Tandora · 10/09/2023 21:03

Surely the most obvious thing explanation is he’s gone with a friend?! Unless he’s given you some other reason not to trust him I think you are leaping to conclusions. If you’ve just agreed to be exclusive it would be bizarre behaviour to immediately go on a date with someone else and advertise it on instagram!

Querypost · 10/09/2023 21:03

Hang on a minute, rummages around for crystal ball 🔮

Babadook76 · 10/09/2023 21:04

Don’t underestimate the stupidity of men. Someone on here caught their oh cheating a couple days ago, after her mil posted a photo of them together and in the pic she could see her oh phone with a dating app on it. When questioned he blamed his mother saying she made him do it as she didn’t like the op 🙄

gertrudemortimer · 10/09/2023 21:04

Seems like game playing to me even if he is with a friend/family member it's odd to put it as a story when you had no clue he was even at the cinemas, he's either on a date or he wants you to think he's on a date. Do you message each other much?

Original poster
Luuucieandevs · 10/09/2023 21:04

Thanks. I’m just thinking who else it would be as his mum lives abroad. He doesn’t have any children or siblings. I can’t think of any of his mates that would go to this movie with him but I could be wrong. Although it seems that he has paid for the other persons ticket, whoever he has gone with

OP posts:
CaroleSinger · 10/09/2023 21:10

I wouldn't jump the gun just yet. It could be someone from work. You have no evidence it's another woman yet and he'd have to be pretty stupid putting it where he knows you'll see it if he's dating. Maybe text and ask what he's up to, would he like to meet up etc.

Pumpkinlattes99 · 10/09/2023 21:11

Seems a bit strange. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions but it would make me wonder. I agree that it could be game playing.

determinedtomakethiswork · 10/09/2023 21:11

Someone from work on a Sunday night? Really?

Papillon23 · 10/09/2023 21:15

I mean it would be incredibly stupid to put a deliberate Instagram story up if it was. So it's probably not.

I also always get all the tickets in one go if I go to the cinema with friends - means we definitely sit together. We sort out the money later.

BoringConstance · 10/09/2023 21:17

Why don't you just ask him?
Dh and all his mates (manly men, nerdy video gamer types) want to see it because of all the fuss, all of them except him are single. With their busy schedules I can well imagine only 2 of them going

TeaKitten · 10/09/2023 21:19

Just ask him, he will no you’ve seen his story anyway. Holding the tickets doesn’t mean he’s paid for them, he could have been holding them while the other person was in the toilet.

Readingisgoodforyou · 10/09/2023 21:23

Sorry but I know some personality types would get a kick out of you both agreeing to be exclusive and then him advertising to all and sundry his other dates. Just to see what he can get away with and how far he can push you. Apparently that's fun these days.

You're just going to have to ask him.

addicteetopawpatrol · 10/09/2023 21:25

Hmm

BoringConstance · 10/09/2023 21:26

Also OP if you're dating surely you naturally talk about fun things you did, so you can ask him about the movie.
If he's cagey/off THEN post on here but doing it now is a little premature.

DiceLadder · 10/09/2023 21:32

Click on the story so he knows you've viewed it, then message asking what the film was like and who he saw it with