To have corrected this man about DS not being a DD?

[HairHeGoesHairHeGoesAgain]

6yo DS has long hair, tied up usually, was in a bun/top knot yesterday. We went to a supermarket, DH and DS were behind with the trolley, I was in front with the list.

DH telling DS he can get whatever he wants for tea, just stick it in the trolley etc.

Bloke behind comments along the lines of "Don't say that! Her husband will have a nightmare with her thinking she can have her own way in the future! You know what girls are like?!" Chortle chortle.

I said "he's a boy, he's just got long hair". Blokes jaw drops a bit, goes "oh, I am sorry, I just saw the pony tail!" I smile, say "it's not a problem, being a girls not a bad thing to be!" Light-hearted laugh. I wanted to say "except for when people are making sexist jokes at your expense!" But I didn't! Which I think showed marvelous restraint considering!

DH says I shouldn't have corrected him, it made him feel bad. My argument is, don't make sexist jokes, especially if you're already wrong about the sex. The bloke clearly felt worse about calling DS a girl than he did about saying he'd make "her" spoilt for a future man.

Was I being unreasonable to have said something?

This is obviously a bit light-hearted, not particularly serious.

** DS has long hair because he wants it long. He gets called a girl a lot, it's usually fine, either we don't say anything but refer to him as he/good boy or whatever or we'll tell them he's a boy if it pertains to the conversation.

Not your job to make sure no one ever feels bad because you make a simple statement of fact. He said ds was a girl. You said ds is not a girl. You weren't rude about it.

Dh owes you an apology for making you question yourself.

When my youngest DS was small he adored his little pink and blue pram and used to push it around in the playground, normally to collect things in. Anyway, he was small so didn’t have much hair and he also has a unisex name.
One day a lady said something about “my daughter” and I said “oh he’s a boy actually” and she replied “oh really!? Are you sure?! I just assumed, with the pram and all…….” and sort of trailed off as I gave her an incredulous look and said “yep, I’m pretty sure he’s a boy, I did give birth to him”

I did caveat by saying it was light-hearted. And I definitely didn't get het up or try and correct his thinking or be a supermarket warrior (although I bet that would make a cracking game show!)

My daughter was called a boy as a baby as I refused to pierce her ears (country where this is common). Even though she has an obviously girly face and clothing.

Why would it get people lathered up? I'm not even lathered up and I was there.

You mean "nobody had ever said that sort of shit to me". Which is awesome, obviously.

You're going to have to explain the third comment to me because I'm not getting it.

YABU for correcting the mis-sexing but not the sexist remark itself. Made it seem like you told him off for connecting your DS with the inferior category "girl." You shouldn't have swallowed your follow-up remark - no point in being subtle with un-subtle people, I guarantee he didn't get your point.

He got off lightly. I don't think you'd have been unreasonable to have called him out for his sexism as well as correcting him for saying your DS was a girl.

Who cares if he felt bad

That's what I was saying to DH ok the car. I felt like I should have said "bit sexist?!" Or whatever, he said not.

Wow, how nice of you to be so judgemental of a strangers kid

I’d have picked him up on the sexist comments more so than correcting him about my child’s sex.

Having a haircut is sensory overload for a lot of neuro-diverse children.

But no, a lot of NT boys have long hair because they choose to and their parents are happy for them to have it long.

I think I'd have not corrected him about my child being a boy but pulled him up for his sexism instead. It would probably be pointless though because these men always think that the problem is that you are humourless and uptight rather than that they are as funny as cancer.

Yanbu for correcting him, nor would you have been unreasonable for correcting him on his sexist remark.

My son has lovely very long blonde hair. He is very often called a girl. We just laugh. Life is short.

Reminds me of when DD was little. We’d regularly bump into an elderly woman walking her dog, no idea who she was, just a friendly stranger. Every time she’d always say “he’s a chubby little one”, without fail. I never corrected her assumption that DD was a boy!

How’s about the problem with him being a sexist shit?

Ugh - so many annoying presumptions and outdated stereotypes about women/girls in one short phrase:

• That one must be preparing them for marriage as a life goal
• That married women aren't supposed to 'have their own way'
• That women buy stuff recklessly.

Yes, he got off lightly.

.

'Nobody says shit like that'
Very happy for you that that's not your personal experience, but people very much do say shit like this, and it's weird as fuck.

This happens to my DS (1 1/2) at least 6 times a week 🤣 it doesn't bother me. Only ever corrected a few times. This week i was food shopping and some older man was talking to my LO in the trolly as he has learned how to scream and likes to practise 🤣 the guy thought it was funny and he was telling me about his children when they were that age. He said "she" a few times as talking but I didn't bother correcting. Went to a different shop right after and bumped into him again and he spoke to us again and called my LO she I said "he's actually a he" but I laughed but he was mortified. I reassured him it was absolutely fine 🤣