To have corrected this man about DS not being a DD?

[HairHeGoesHairHeGoesAgain]

6yo DS has long hair, tied up usually, was in a bun/top knot yesterday. We went to a supermarket, DH and DS were behind with the trolley, I was in front with the list.

DH telling DS he can get whatever he wants for tea, just stick it in the trolley etc.

Bloke behind comments along the lines of "Don't say that! Her husband will have a nightmare with her thinking she can have her own way in the future! You know what girls are like?!" Chortle chortle.

I said "he's a boy, he's just got long hair". Blokes jaw drops a bit, goes "oh, I am sorry, I just saw the pony tail!" I smile, say "it's not a problem, being a girls not a bad thing to be!" Light-hearted laugh. I wanted to say "except for when people are making sexist jokes at your expense!" But I didn't! Which I think showed marvelous restraint considering!

DH says I shouldn't have corrected him, it made him feel bad. My argument is, don't make sexist jokes, especially if you're already wrong about the sex. The bloke clearly felt worse about calling DS a girl than he did about saying he'd make "her" spoilt for a future man.

Was I being unreasonable to have said something?

This is obviously a bit light-hearted, not particularly serious.

** DS has long hair because he wants it long. He gets called a girl a lot, it's usually fine, either we don't say anything but refer to him as he/good boy or whatever or we'll tell them he's a boy if it pertains to the conversation.

A tad over sensitive aren’t you. You say It’s a common occurrence - because of your choice so don’t whine when people make honest mistakes . He wasn’t being malicious

that man made a foolish remark.

Oh the irony.
Age of the man commenting was not stated yet here you are with your twattish remark.

It's not the mistaking for a girl that's the problem, it's the blatant sexism. I'd have liked to have said "eh? Why can a married woman not have what she wants? Why is a woman with choices a problem?" etc etc but in reality I would probably have just ignored him 😆

@takealettermsjones types faster than me but I agree with you! The issue here isn't being mistaken for a girl, its the shitty sexist comment after. My DS is also six and has long blonde hair - he's always being mistaken for a girl which sometimes I correct, sometimes I don't. It is DS' choice to have it long. The main comment is what amazing colour and condition it's in!!

But if anyone said oh ha ha women are trouble, then that's not something I'd let slide, I probably wouldn't think fast enough but it'd be along the lines of "beg your pardon, girls are what now?!"

Yeah but why? Just cut your sons hair and have done with it.

He deserved more than a polite correction for that unwanted, unnecessary sexist crap about how a child assumed to be a girl should be obedient to her future husband.
But your husband didn’t have your back, that’s what I would be concerned about. Why should you be worried about making someone feel bad when they said something bad?!

He's ND. It's his hair and he doesn't want his hair cut. He likes it as is it. As long as it's clean, brushed, tied up for school/activities where he needs it tied up then I'm not going to force him.

It's not, for me, the same as needing to brush teeth or wash etc, which are non negotiable.

YANBU. I’d be fuming if someone said something so blatantly sexist to me.

It was an old man, just for context, well, older than me, sixties or thereabouts.

I think he was more concerned about me starting a row in the cheese aisle of Tesco to be fair.

He does a job where he comes across a lot of twatty comments being said and can't react or respond so it's second nature for him to ignore.

What does “angelic looks” mean?

That's my general rule of thumb.

We always say to DS that being mistaken for a girl isn't a bad things because there's nothing wrong with being a girl, but he isn't one, so he can say that if he wants to.

Usual ageist shit. Doesn't matter how the ds wants his hair done, but if he's got it in a pony tail some people will think he's a girl. Not a big deal, ignore and move on.

Love that! Mine is only just 2 and oblivious but if we continue with the long hair when he’s old enough to potentially be bothered by being mistaken for a girl, I think I might steal this

“It was an old man, just for context, well, older than me, sixties or thereabouts”

There you go. I said what I. The phrasing was that of someone of at least my generation or older.

My son is often called a girl, he has long hair, he politely corrects people, being called a girl is fine as their is nothing wrong with being a girl. The actual comment he made is very shitty, but lets face it, people like that are unlikely to learn and he’ll probably think you’re the bad guy, rather his views being the bad guy in the situation.

YABU for not saying anything about the actual bullshit he was saying about women.

Easy mistake to make.

Not a big deal.
As for what the man apparently said.. Hmm, of course he did.

Why would I make something like that up?

I'd at least try and make myself look good if I was bullshitting..."and then everyone stood up and clapped" 😂

How ironic lol.

Who cares?

Sure, you could react to a harmless, mildly twattish comment. But you don't have to do that. There's no obligation for you to 'correct his thinking'. You don't have to get het up by this sort of thing. Or become some sort of warrior against people saying daft stuff in the supermarket. It's alright, you can just do that little smile of acknowledgment that says nothing more.

Just let it go. (Also, maybe one day in your old age you'll be the one saying something you consider friendly and well-meaning but goes down badly.)

It’s a difficult one.

I called someone a male when they were female and although this was 15 years ago I am still mortified!

They were snogging heavily in the ladies toilet and I told them that they can do that somewhere else because men shouldn’t even be in here.
Then she pointed out that she was female 😳

It has made me very aware of not calling anyone her/him though unless I’m 100% certain (of course now I have to deal with non binary and trans people).

When people used to say he about my DD (even though she had long hair and s pink dress) I would just ignore it but as he’s older I probably would have told him.

To get everyone all lathered up about it.
Nobody says shit like that.

Also, it is quite the coincidence that he said that just after misreading your son's sex because he was sporting a traditionally feminine hairstyle.

Bloke behind comments along the lines of "Don't say that! Her husband will have a nightmare with her thinking she can have her own way in the future! You know what girls are like?!" Chortle chortle.

Bloody awful comment to make to a complete stranger. I'd have called him out on his sexism. That's what you should focus on here.