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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think neighbours shouldn't be playing music all day in the garden

84 replies

Cooperativebox · 10/09/2023 12:29

Hear me out, I'm not exactly frothing at the mouth, but I do think it's rather inconsiderate of the neighbours to do be doing this.
We all live practically on top of each other on this street - small terraced houses with gardens right next to each other. Neighbour plays her music loud enough for me to hear inside my house, in her back garden.
AIBU to be a bit irritated at this? I'm grateful it's quite classy music at least - I'd be asking her to put in earphones if it was drill Grin I'm just surprised at her more than anything, I'd be embarrassed for my neighbours to know my music taste!

OP posts:
Floofydawg · 12/09/2023 10:49

@MsFrost I would argue that all the things I find irritating about my neighbours are avoidable. Building work on a Sunday, for weeks on end? Inconsiderate. Letting your very noisy car idle on the drive for half an hour at a time? Inconsiderate. Letting your kids screech for hours on end? (I'm not talking normal playing noise) Inconsiderate.

If my neighbours had some consideration for me, they might get the same in return. And I've already said that my music isn't even loud.

Tidyfreak · 12/09/2023 11:22

@Floofydawg

I don't know about your garden setup and its proximity to neighbours but is every single one of your neighbours inconsiderate? I get that you may feel less inclined to be considerate to those who are showing you no consideration but what about the others? I also have a neighbour who loves to rev his motorbike for ages before riding off, a neighbour with grandchildren who screech and shriek, a constantly barking dog and the country and western fans but among that lot are some lovely, considerate people and I wouldn't want to add to the list of irritations that they have to put up with.

Abracadabra12345 · 12/09/2023 11:31

Tidyfreak · 12/09/2023 09:10

@MsFrost

Building work and kids noise aren't really avoidable. Your music absolutely is and would drive me nuts. It's inconsiderate. Just use headphones if you have to listen to music in the garden at night.

Absolutely this!
Although slightly off topic, I wish the same inconsiderate people who insist on playing music through speakers on the beach or around the pool on holiday would also invest in some headphones.

I went to a seaside town recently after a lovely day out elsewhere with the plan to have some late afternoon sun before returning home. I'd been there the same time the day before and it was lovely. This time there were loads and loads of people and there were a lot of small groups with enormous speakers. So walking along the esplanade, you'd walk from one blast of music to another and pass another. It was deliberate and planned and I felt so glad I didn't live near any of them!

Anyway we gave up on our beach plans!

Abracadabra12345 · 12/09/2023 11:32

user1471538283 · 12/09/2023 09:24

It is so selfish. When you live near people everyone has to be considerate.

My horrible ex neighbors played loud music (so loud I could hear it in my house with my doors and windows closed and the people in the next street could hear it) every day for 10 hours a day whilst they were furloughed. I was working and had to adjust my hours to fit in with it

And they had the cheek to moan if anyone mowed their grass or played their own music.

I lost thousands selling up and I really hope their new neighbors do the same to them.

Yeah lockdown was horrible for many PyTorch exactly that reason

Yoghurtpotsatdawn · 12/09/2023 11:34

YANBU. It embodies selfishness and entitlement - I like this music and listening to it, so everyone else around me shall also listen to it too, for as long as I choose to play it. It’s awful.

Abracadabra12345 · 12/09/2023 11:34

Or many people, even! 😁

Yoghurtpotsatdawn · 12/09/2023 11:37

There’s no such thing as universal good taste either. I love early sacred choral works. My friend adores Barry Manilow. You like what you like. Doesn’t mean those living around you also like it and even if they did, that you have the right to inflict it on them whenever you fancy.

Floofydawg · 12/09/2023 12:00

Tidyfreak · 12/09/2023 11:22

@Floofydawg

I don't know about your garden setup and its proximity to neighbours but is every single one of your neighbours inconsiderate? I get that you may feel less inclined to be considerate to those who are showing you no consideration but what about the others? I also have a neighbour who loves to rev his motorbike for ages before riding off, a neighbour with grandchildren who screech and shriek, a constantly barking dog and the country and western fans but among that lot are some lovely, considerate people and I wouldn't want to add to the list of irritations that they have to put up with.

Yep, pretty much. They're all noisy twats, without exception.

MsFrost · 12/09/2023 16:01

Floofydawg · 12/09/2023 10:49

@MsFrost I would argue that all the things I find irritating about my neighbours are avoidable. Building work on a Sunday, for weeks on end? Inconsiderate. Letting your very noisy car idle on the drive for half an hour at a time? Inconsiderate. Letting your kids screech for hours on end? (I'm not talking normal playing noise) Inconsiderate.

If my neighbours had some consideration for me, they might get the same in return. And I've already said that my music isn't even loud.

So is every single one of your neighbours who can hear your music inconsiderate?

There isn't a single neighbour who might just be enjoying peace and quiet who you're subjecting to uninvited noise pollution?

What about the spouse of the person who leaves their car idling?

The older sibling of the kids who are shrieking who really needs a bit of quiet to study in the evening?

The autistic kid down the road who has to wear noise cancelling headphones?

I highly doubt that everyone who lives near you is a 'noisy twat', and even if they are, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

Slowlylosingmymind101 · 12/09/2023 16:07

My neighbour does this. Mix of Disney and the dhs music and it drives me insane. They shout and play. I have kids and yes my kids make noise but I regularly tell them to keep it down. I can heat neighbours music through our walls. I only don't say something to keep the peace.

Taketurn · 12/09/2023 16:09

I don't mind if it's occasional for a birthday party or a BBQ or something but if it's religiously then its a problem.

OneTC · 12/09/2023 17:01

Nanny0gg · 10/09/2023 12:55

Noise seems to carry more at night

And there is a difference between 'life' noises and imposing your music taste on the neighbours

Not if it's not part of your life

Nanny0gg · 12/09/2023 17:07

OneTC · 12/09/2023 17:01

Not if it's not part of your life

If you live near people you expect 'people' noise. Which still needs to be reasonable

Otherwise live in the middle of nowhere.

OneTC · 12/09/2023 17:19

Music is people noise. I expect all sorts of noise because I live communally. I just think that drawing a distinction between anything other than the DBs is arbitrary and weird

Floofydawg · 12/09/2023 19:09

OneTC · 12/09/2023 17:19

Music is people noise. I expect all sorts of noise because I live communally. I just think that drawing a distinction between anything other than the DBs is arbitrary and weird

Very good point. Who makes the call on what's acceptable people noise?

ehupo7 · 12/09/2023 19:19

gidabo · 10/09/2023 16:52

No, I don't think that's the reason. Nor, come to think of it, do I think it's OK for neighbouring children to screech at 7am and wake their neighbours. Surely nobody thinks that!

But the difference between the noise of children playing out on a summer's afternoon (acceptable if not too loud) and the noise of a neighbour's choice of music (not acceptable if at all audible) is an interesting one nevertheless.

I have given some thought to this, in fact. When I said in the earlier post that the difference may be 'structural', I had something in mind.

As follows. I wonder if you have ever wondered why people, almost universally, enjoy music of one sort or another? Long story short, but perhaps the reason is partly cognitive, in a way. Music, pure music, that is (word-free if you like) has a sort of difficult-to-pin-down (almost?) cognitive structure ... like 'something almost being said', I recall the pianist Simone Dinnerstein putting it a while back. (Others have said similar things.)

And, well, cutting the story short, it does seem that for at least some of us music-lovers, music tends to grab hold of a part of our mind that other noises don't. There's a kind of willy-nilly grab of our cognitive bits involved, if that makes sense.

Now add this willy-nilly grab to the fact that bad art has the tendency to drive out good. And that that bit of my cognitive space that is engaged rehearsing silently - oh, I dunno, the choral finale of Wachet auf ruft uns die Stimme or Goldberg variation 19, whatever (Or just having a rest, perhaps) - gets filled, against my will, by some shit from radio 2 or spotify, what have you. This is about as anoying as it can get. It's torture, in fact. I hate it.

This is probably a bit ott for MN AIBU. But, well, I wanted to make the point that listening to your choice of music may be torture to me in a way that listening to your children's laughter (yes, and even squeals) may not be.

Which, all being said, bolsters my point that, now you know, you should desist from possibly torturing those about you by forcing them to listen to music they didn't choose. ... Otherwise, you label yourself as a particularly selfish and horrible human being. (Which you probably are not, albeit you may have been ignorant of the harm you unwittingly have caused until now.)

Anyway, those who play music in their gardens, please, please stop doing this. Some of us are really quite badly affected by it, to our severe detriment.

dear god

Floofydawg · 12/09/2023 19:21

PS I have already said about a billion times that my music IS NOT LOUD!

ehupo7 · 12/09/2023 19:24

Have a neighbour who blasts loud dance music (not bad choices actually but it’s too loud – like 60+ db – and annoying af when you’re trying to work) and claps and whoops along. During the daytime.

Bellend. Truly the dregs of humanity.

ShutTheDoorBabe · 12/09/2023 20:35

Floofydawg · 12/09/2023 19:21

PS I have already said about a billion times that my music IS NOT LOUD!

You are shouting into the void on here. What you describe and picture Vs what most of mn seem to imagine:

To think neighbours shouldn't be playing music all day in the garden
Alphanic123 · 18/05/2025 15:30

if you are playing music from your house so that you can hear it in the garden then you are at the very least incredibly selfish and self absorbed….just think for a moment about your neighbours who may have had the worst day/week or just be in need of some peace and quiet. What gives you the right?

I love music and listen using my ear phones so i don’t disturb others who may not be as enthusiastic about my music choices.

Some people just seem to need to be seen and heard by those around them. It’s quite sad really and perhaps comes from having a shit life so feel it’s ok to dish shit out to others.

the view that ‘it’s not that loud’ or I have the right to do what I want in my garden is just terrible and what keeps me going is trusting that what goes around comes around and it’s only a matter of time before that behaviour will come back to you from others.

looking forward to that 😉

thestudio · 18/05/2025 15:32

In my experience you can divide people into two types - people who consider others when they're in a shared space (in this case a shared audio environment), and cunts.

Flicitytricity · 18/05/2025 15:32

Alphanic123 · 18/05/2025 15:30

if you are playing music from your house so that you can hear it in the garden then you are at the very least incredibly selfish and self absorbed….just think for a moment about your neighbours who may have had the worst day/week or just be in need of some peace and quiet. What gives you the right?

I love music and listen using my ear phones so i don’t disturb others who may not be as enthusiastic about my music choices.

Some people just seem to need to be seen and heard by those around them. It’s quite sad really and perhaps comes from having a shit life so feel it’s ok to dish shit out to others.

the view that ‘it’s not that loud’ or I have the right to do what I want in my garden is just terrible and what keeps me going is trusting that what goes around comes around and it’s only a matter of time before that behaviour will come back to you from others.

looking forward to that 😉

If they're still doing it 18 months later, I'd quite agree 🤣

PinotDragon86 · 18/05/2025 16:10

I don't mind hearing the odd bit of music floating over from the neighbours on occasion; I don't reciprocate though as I have a penchant for death metal so don't think that would go down too well 😆

BCBird · 18/05/2025 16:14

I love music but my choice of music is for me- no one else. Usually in summer I get euro pop blasting out if anyone from neighbouring houses has been on holiday🙄

Natsku · 18/05/2025 16:22

I don't play music in my garden (I do sometimes take my Bluetooth speaker to work and play my choice of radio there but it's a place where there's always a radio playing and sometimes I get fed up of hearing the same few currently popular tracks and want absolute 90s instead) but my brother, who moved in with me a couple of months ago, loves to play music from speakers wherever he goes, he even has a massive speaker on a bike trailer and rides around blasting music. I have to pretend not to know him when out in public because he doesn't listen to me when I tell him other people don't want to listen to his music.

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