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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gift for our favourite waitress

57 replies

MrsPaws · 10/09/2023 12:21

My husband and I go to a local gastro-pub every Sunday, usually for a roast or a small bite, we take the dog it is lovely (our kids are grown up, DH likes eating roast, neither of us ever want to make one).
There is young waitress, we were the first people she served on her first day and she was nervous, stumbled over her words etc, but was very sweet. The next week she served us again and we joked about how much better she was doing. She has served us basically every week for the last 2 years, the dog loves her, she always brings him over a treat or some sausages etc, she is kind, knows exactly what we like, always tries to get us our favourite table etc.
She us going away to uni soon, other end of the country. She told us last week that this week will be her last shift until around Christmas. I'll be honest, I'm going to miss her, she has been a lovely feature in our Sunday for so long. I was chatting to my son, and mentioned her, she has a very unique name and they went to the same school (I forget how she came up but she did). He said he followed her on Instagram )only 2 years older than her). He showed me and we laughed that she must love Starbucks, as she seemed to be in Starbucks in half the pictures.
I was in town, in Starbucks yesterday and it made think of the girl. I bought a £30 voucher, then popped and got a good luck card. This morning I was in Morrison's, so I got her some Chocolates and sweeties.

Just came home to put it all in a gift bag, and m y husband is insistent that it is really really weird and I shouldn't have done that. He thinks the girl will feel weird about two almost strangers spending £40 on her.

AIBU this is a nice treat since she has treated us so well for 2 years or is it just weird?

OP posts:
SackOfShitandRegrets · 10/09/2023 12:22

Lovely thought

Doggymummar · 10/09/2023 12:23

It's very kind

WildCherryBlossom · 10/09/2023 12:24

I think that's lovely and thoughtful.

Callyem · 10/09/2023 12:25

Lovely gesture, im sure it will be appreciated. No different from accepting tips.

Lulaloo · 10/09/2023 12:26

She will love it though and I’m sure will always remember your kindness to her.

NuffSaidSam · 10/09/2023 12:26

I think it's really nice, not least because it shows how just being pleasant and helpful can have a big impact on someone. She probably doesn't know much you value her and you may never know what that will mean to her.

cisisaslur · 10/09/2023 12:27

Not weird at all. In fact it's lovely
If I was your waitress I'd be delighted to receive a gift like this.
It's just a 'big tip' for all the amazing service she's provided you with.

SussexLass87 · 10/09/2023 12:27

Did something similar for our favourite waitress when she went to Uni. She always listened to my toddlers, gave them extra marshmallows on their hot chocolates and they loved her. We still miss her!

I think it's a lovely gesture you're doing.

INeedAnotherName · 10/09/2023 12:27

I was going to say it's weird but after seeing you say it's been literally every week for two years then I think the voucher and chocolates are lovely.

Gabby10 · 10/09/2023 12:31

I use to work in a hotel and that had a bar and there was a lovely couple that use to be in every Sunday, very much like you and DH. I use to wait their table ect the same and when I said I was leaving the following week they came in with a massive bunch of flowers and a bottle of champagne. It honestly made me cry it was such a lovely thought and it meant a lot. I'd go for it she'll love it xx

cherrypopsicle · 10/09/2023 12:35

My daughter was a waitress at the same age, and a couple of her regulars did similar when she left for an apprenticeship. She was over the moon and really appreciated the thought behind it

NeedToKnow101 · 10/09/2023 12:36

I think that's really lovely 😊

frizzyhairgal · 10/09/2023 12:40

I was a waitress a very long time ago. During my first week I was very nervous and a lovely couple gave me a tip. I've never forgotten it and I think the gift is a lovely idea for your waitress

BrioNotBiro · 10/09/2023 12:43

It's a lovely thought and a kindness that the girl will remember for many years.

Ignore your husband; most blokes just don't realise how these little kindnesses mean so much and how they are the social oil that make the wheels go round in life.

ChaChaRealSmooth · 10/09/2023 12:45

It’s a lovely thing to do and I’m sure will be very well appreciated and received by her.

anothertrainwreck · 10/09/2023 12:46

I had a job in a building society in my gap year and when I finished to go to university I had regular customers bring me good luck and farewell gifts. It was unexpected but incredibly sweet - and worth pointing out the obvious that there’s no tipping culture at the building society - so I think this is absolutely fine, especially in the context of a service role where tips are part of the deal, and really kind

Kitkatcatflap · 10/09/2023 12:46

I think it's a lovely gesture that she will appreciate.

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 10/09/2023 12:48

It’s a lovely gesture.

SunflowersAndSmellyTrainers · 10/09/2023 12:49

That's a truly wonderful thing to do and I'd certainly do similar in those circumstances.

Do it @MrsPaws -its a beautiful gesture of thanks and kindness to send her on her way.

Hopefully your husband will observe the joy it will undoubtedly bring and it'll also teach him some grace along the way.

Clarinet1 · 10/09/2023 12:49

It’s not weird at all - shows how giving your all to a job can make an impression and I’m sure a Starbucks will either provide comfort in a new place or a chance to make some friends.

Moonflower12 · 10/09/2023 12:56

If your DH is worried it's weird- say it's from the DDog!

Lwrenagain · 10/09/2023 12:58

Not weird!

Even if it was, appreciation, kindness, feedback, all these things shouldn't be weird and nice folk who enjoy making people smile should take it back from those who find it weird. You sound really lovely OP x

INeedAnotherName · 10/09/2023 13:00

Moonflower12 · 10/09/2023 12:56

If your DH is worried it's weird- say it's from the DDog!

Good point. I hope Ddog is also mentioned in the card 😂

ilovesooty · 10/09/2023 13:03

It's lovely and thoughtful.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 10/09/2023 13:13

I think it's lovely and really kind, and she will always remember it.

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