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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gift for our favourite waitress

57 replies

MrsPaws · 10/09/2023 12:21

My husband and I go to a local gastro-pub every Sunday, usually for a roast or a small bite, we take the dog it is lovely (our kids are grown up, DH likes eating roast, neither of us ever want to make one).
There is young waitress, we were the first people she served on her first day and she was nervous, stumbled over her words etc, but was very sweet. The next week she served us again and we joked about how much better she was doing. She has served us basically every week for the last 2 years, the dog loves her, she always brings him over a treat or some sausages etc, she is kind, knows exactly what we like, always tries to get us our favourite table etc.
She us going away to uni soon, other end of the country. She told us last week that this week will be her last shift until around Christmas. I'll be honest, I'm going to miss her, she has been a lovely feature in our Sunday for so long. I was chatting to my son, and mentioned her, she has a very unique name and they went to the same school (I forget how she came up but she did). He said he followed her on Instagram )only 2 years older than her). He showed me and we laughed that she must love Starbucks, as she seemed to be in Starbucks in half the pictures.
I was in town, in Starbucks yesterday and it made think of the girl. I bought a £30 voucher, then popped and got a good luck card. This morning I was in Morrison's, so I got her some Chocolates and sweeties.

Just came home to put it all in a gift bag, and m y husband is insistent that it is really really weird and I shouldn't have done that. He thinks the girl will feel weird about two almost strangers spending £40 on her.

AIBU this is a nice treat since she has treated us so well for 2 years or is it just weird?

OP posts:
reallyunderstandsometimes · 10/09/2023 13:15

I hope you do give her the gifts is so thoughtful of you, and you need to come back after your roast dinner and let us know how it went.

You've also inspired me to go out on Sundays for roasts.. we do sometimes but I think it would be a nice routine.

Timeandtune · 10/09/2023 13:18

Definitely a lovely thing to do.

Glorifried · 10/09/2023 13:23

Ds is a waiter - I'd love it if someone thought so much of him that they did this!

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 10/09/2023 13:32

Don’t tell her you saw that she likes Starbucks on Instagram. Just tell her you thought it would be handy for university. Otherwise you run the risk of being a bit stalkery. You could also offer to be used as a character reference for her if she wants to work or when she goes to university.

ConsuelaHammock · 10/09/2023 13:38

It’s a lovely gesture and she will remember it forever.

CameronCook · 10/09/2023 13:40

Lovely idea, she will really appreciate it.

MidgesGirdle · 10/09/2023 13:41

Do give the gift, don't mention her social media. A lovely idea!

SisterMichaelsHabit · 10/09/2023 13:42

It's a very nice thing to do, especially as a student will probably struggle to afford Starbucks!

BeaLola · 10/09/2023 13:51

It's like an extra tip. Definitely hand it over adding her well - it's very thoughtful & dhe sounds like an lovely youngster

BeaLola · 10/09/2023 13:51

Wishing (not adding) her well

ActDottie · 10/09/2023 13:56

I think it’s lovely particularly as you’ve been going for two years :) and she’ll really appreciate the Starbucks vouchers! We had a Starbucks on site at uni and I loved it!

RubiRage · 10/09/2023 14:06

Did she used to work in Starbucks?

fairyfluf · 10/09/2023 14:09

To be honest I think it is a bit creepy. You've used her social media information from your son to find out she likes Starbucks. You'd have been better off giving her the cash in an envelope and a box of chocolates.

MapleSyrupWaffles · 10/09/2023 14:11

I think it sounds lovely. She won't know immediately how much the gift card is worth anyway, so hopefully wouldn't have any worries about accepting it, and then when she goes to use it and finds out, she'll be really pleased. I'd have been very happy if a regular customer had appreciated how hard I'd tried to be helpful. Maybe worth letting her boss know how much she was appreciated as well - he/she will be providing references for her, and potentially offering her holiday work, and it also makes it very open and up front about you giving it to her, in case that sort of 'tip' is a problem (though I don't see why I would be).

MapleSyrupWaffles · 10/09/2023 14:13

I think Starbucks is a generic enough gift for a teenager going off to university that it is fine; you know she likes it but you could have given it to any teenager with a reasonable chance that it would be used. If your son kind of knows her, that helps too.

ŁadnaPogoda · 10/09/2023 14:17

I think this is a nice thing to do. I gave my lovely vet a box of posh chocolates when we moved.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/09/2023 14:22

Looking at her Instagram is a bit weird so don't tell her that!

But it's a lovely idea and only something most woman would think to do which is probably why your husband thinks it's odd. It's not odd to show people appreciation!

SleepingStandingUp · 10/09/2023 14:23

Your not strangers, you're the couple with the cute dog she sees every Sunday shift.

I think it's lovely and shows her she's valued even in a "low value" job.

And depending how you've wrapped it, she'll only see a card and chocs so it avoids the awks face to face of how much you've spent

SleepingStandingUp · 10/09/2023 14:25

fairyfluf · 10/09/2023 14:09

To be honest I think it is a bit creepy. You've used her social media information from your son to find out she likes Starbucks. You'd have been better off giving her the cash in an envelope and a box of chocolates.

I have no idea what DSs 121 does for fun, but I brought her a Costa coffee card cos it's generic enough to cover most people. Starbucks is the same.

Coffee, tea, fruit juices, special drinks, cakes, sandwiches, salads, cups, drinking bottles.

It hardly says I know the intimate details of your life.

BitOutOfPractice · 10/09/2023 14:28

I think it’s lovely! Do it! I bet it makes her mom cry! In a good way!

UndercoverCop · 10/09/2023 14:30

I waitressed/bar tended before going to uni and before I went one of our regulars gave me a £50 Waterstones voucher, he was a bit of a gruff old guy and it was very unexpected but really welcome. He said to me well done for getting out of this shit hole and making something of yourself, here's something to get some books 😁. I just thought it was so kind and that he'd gone out of his way to get a voucher meant even more than bunging me some cash.
I think she'll love it OP

Excited101 · 10/09/2023 14:35

I think it’s lovely! But don’t for the love of god, mention you found she liked Starbucks from her instagram. That would turn a really delightful gift into something super creepy.

flingoringo · 10/09/2023 14:37

It's a lovely thing to do and she will really appreciate it. I agree with other posters through about not mentioning how you found out she likes Starbucks!

Nicole1111 · 10/09/2023 14:41

Not at all weird. The world needs more kindness like this

CallumDansTransitVan · 10/09/2023 15:51

Lovely thought. Hospitality is for the most part crap. Something like this will make the girls day.

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