Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up work..?

57 replies

custardtart21 · 10/09/2023 09:33

I work 2 days a week currently. I am what is classified as a qualified professional, I have to pay indemnity and a yearly registration fee - but it's such a low paid career. I'm fully qualified, done it since 2009... and I'm on £11.25 an hour.

My husband earns £60k with a big payout coming up and his earnings are highly likely to go up a lot over the next few years.

We have 2 DC, one school age and one younger, the youngest's nursery fees are £51 a day which we pay on the 2 days I work.

My options are carry on, work more days, get a more flexible job and work evenings or weekends.. or be a SAHM.

What would you do?

OP posts:
CPLawyer · 10/09/2023 09:34

Following as I can relate!

Squiblet · 10/09/2023 09:35

Do you enjoy the work?

Does it bring you into contact with people, in a good way? SAHM life can be very solitary.

Original poster
custardtart21 · 10/09/2023 09:35

It's so difficult isn't it. It's the career I've done since I was 21 and worked hard for it but it just doesn't seem worth it for £11.25 an hour!

OP posts:
Chestnutz · 10/09/2023 09:37

Do you enjoy your work and get satisfaction out of it?

BorisIsACuntWaffle · 10/09/2023 09:38

I wouldn't be a sahm. Very financially vulnerable.
Keep at least a day per week to keep your hand in. You'd be bored once kids both in school.

Funkyslippers · 10/09/2023 09:38

I was in the same boat when DC's were young. I stuck it out as it was good to have a job when they're both at school. There was no guarantee that I could find a job then

Chestnutz · 10/09/2023 09:38

And how many years do you have before your youngest starts school?

Original poster
custardtart21 · 10/09/2023 09:39

@Squiblet I wouldn't say I either enjoy or dislike it. It's ok.. I'm a bit nonchalant about it.

I do like my colleagues and the social side of it.
My other option is work evenings or weekends on a zero hour/ minimum wage job, which in theory would actually bring more money into my pocket than this job does.

OP posts:
Original poster
custardtart21 · 10/09/2023 09:39

My youngest is only 11 months so a while yet x

OP posts:
ginandtonicwithlimes · 10/09/2023 09:40

Keep working. You have a nice work/life balance anyway with only working two days a week.

Noodles4Me · 10/09/2023 09:40

I’d continue to work tbh. For the longer term benefits, pension, experience, potential promotions in future.

Please tell me nursery fees are shared on not covered just by you?

Heyhoherewegoagain · 10/09/2023 09:41

£60k isn’t a huge amount to keep a family on. I totally get where you’re coming from especially re the nursery fees, but maybe try reframing it as that coming out of your dh’s earnings rather than yours?

RoomOfRequirement · 10/09/2023 09:41

What professional role is this?! That's an appalling salary for something that requires indemnity and registration. You would make more at Asda. Awful way to be treated.

mosiacmaker · 10/09/2023 09:42

I would keep working and find away to apply my current skills to higher paid position/industry. And to be honest I don’t think your DH earns enough to support a non working partner.

Beezknees · 10/09/2023 09:42

I would always work. Never rely on a man to financially support you. I did that and ended up with nothing when we split up. Had to move into a hostel with my baby.

Original poster
custardtart21 · 10/09/2023 09:42

@Noodles4Me DH covers nursery fees. The money I earn (around £730 a month) I keep for things like days out with the kids, meeting friends during the week, the odd food shop, if I want my hair done (rarely) that kind of thing. It's mainly just so I have a bit of independence and I don't feel I have to run things past DH like if I fancy a new outfit or something!

OP posts:
orangegato · 10/09/2023 09:43

Continue to work because you’ll get to retirement age and fine you’ve no pension. You’d kids won’t require your care forever so keep in the game for the the future.

Original poster
custardtart21 · 10/09/2023 09:45

I'm a dental nurse. As I say done it since 2009, sat an exam, we have to pay our own indemnity and registration (£115 a year)... and we get £11.25 an hour. Some nurses get up to about £13-£14 an hour in other practices if they are head nurse or have extra responsibilities, but I live quite rurally and there are not many surgeries within reasonable travelling distance.

OP posts:
ginandtonicwithlimes · 10/09/2023 09:45

Sounds like you have it okay if you have that much to spare to spend without needing to help pay the bills?

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 10/09/2023 09:47

You shouldn't. Keep your hand in - you never know what's round the corner.

Original poster
custardtart21 · 10/09/2023 09:47

@ginandtonicwithlimes I am quite lucky in that respect.. I mean with the interest rates to say our house is only a 3 bed semi our mortgage is high (£950 a month) but DH pays for that, he pays all bills, cars are paid for etc.

OP posts:
Hopinghonestly · 10/09/2023 09:54

I would always work..actually more so if my partner is a high earner.

You cant predict the future and there is no way in hell if i would leave myself vulnerable if my husband went wacko..

MaggieBsBoat · 10/09/2023 09:55

Get a better job! Make a career change!
Do not give up your job to be dependent on someone else.

mondaytosunday · 10/09/2023 09:55

I have up work after my second. My husband earned 20 times what I did and my pay would not even cover two kids in daycare. I also had the kids in my 40s so had worked for a couple decades bu then. It worked well for us but I did find it deadly dull at times!

Heyhoherewegoagain · 10/09/2023 09:56

So if all the “fun stuff” comes out of your salary, how do you propose to fund that from dh’s? £60k is a decent salary but it’s not massive