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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

OLD.. would you immediately block someone who spoke about dick pics...

94 replies

SpaghettiAndMeatball20 · 09/09/2023 13:30

Even if the context was "I don't understand why men send dick picks its hardly the most attractive area"

Then proceeds to ask:

"How many have you have... pics, not dicks 😅"

I abruptly ended the conversation and they've messaged this morning. I feel uncomfortable and want to block...

Just checking I'm not being overly sensitive because to me it felt disrespectful.

OP posts:

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/09/2023 11:02

Createausername1970 · 09/09/2023 16:46

Maybe he was letting you know he does not do them. Perhaps the last couple of women wanted a dick pick?

Yeah, I thought this could be a possibility. I wouldn't block necessarily because of this.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/09/2023 11:10

I've just read the rest of the thread. I would never swap "sexy pictures" with anyone, even my husband. Online safety is my priority and never sending anything like that to anyone is just my philosophy. Even if someone didn't maliciously send something, there is always the possibility that it's seen accidentally by someone that isn't supposed to see it.

So he's possibly trying to figure out whether you're someone who does or doesn't do dick pics at all. Sounds like you do, even if it is once you're in an established relationship. So I'm not seeing that it's too much of an issue. You do do them or you don't. You do.

mrlistersgelfbride · 10/09/2023 11:12

It sounds like a poor attempt at humour. Try to steer the conversation in another direction. By all means block if it continues.

I don't believe no heterosexual women like dick pics in the right context. I have liked them occasionally.

HRTQueen · 10/09/2023 11:13

The op felt uncomfortable

isn’t that enough ? Are we to give men all a chance when we have felt this

there are plenty of other men out there op again set your bar higher

Cantrushart · 10/09/2023 11:14

Maybe you're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe he wants to get a look at all of those disgusting pics that you've been sent.

Gjendefloooo · 10/09/2023 11:17

If you feel uncomfortable you should block without overthinking it.
That applies to dick pics, talk about dick pics, strange comments, saying your body is grabbable or whatever.
Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable is a warning and you should heed it - not try to work out whether you are being unreasonable or not for feeling uncomfortable.
You can ask other people's opinions I suppose, but at the end of the day it's whether you feel uncomfortable. There are a few people on this thread who wouldn't be bothered by what the bloke had said and that's fair enough, but it bothered you.

Createausername1970 · 10/09/2023 11:23

HRTQueen · 10/09/2023 11:13

The op felt uncomfortable

isn’t that enough ? Are we to give men all a chance when we have felt this

there are plenty of other men out there op again set your bar higher

Her thread title asked whether others would immediately block in these circumstances.

What is the point in me answering her question truthfully if you come along and tell me I have given the wrong answer? FFS. Who made you class monitor?

SplendidUtterly · 10/09/2023 11:23

Block. You are only 2 days in talking to this man and he is already making comments about your body, dicks and wanting more pics sent. I have the MN "ick" just reading about him.

HRTQueen · 10/09/2023 11:28

Createausername1970 · 10/09/2023 11:23

Her thread title asked whether others would immediately block in these circumstances.

What is the point in me answering her question truthfully if you come along and tell me I have given the wrong answer? FFS. Who made you class monitor?

Show quote history

the advice should always be step away if you feel uncomfortable which she states she did the op then questioned herself

if you wish to ignore this then do but I’m not going to not point it out that this is what she should do

paradoxicalfrog · 10/09/2023 11:31

Just been a long time since I've dated I wasn't sure if I was being too sensitive!

For goodness sake, just block him. If he's making you feel uncomfortable (and he evidently is) you don't need dozens of MN posters to tell you what you should do. Why do so many people not trust their instincts any more?

beatrix1234 · 10/09/2023 11:34

Cantrushart · 10/09/2023 11:14

Maybe you're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe he wants to get a look at all of those disgusting pics that you've been sent.

You think he's gay and this is how he gets dick pics of straight men?😂

Createausername1970 · 10/09/2023 11:37

HRTQueen · 10/09/2023 11:28

the advice should always be step away if you feel uncomfortable which she states she did the op then questioned herself

if you wish to ignore this then do but I’m not going to not point it out that this is what she should do

Show quote history

I completely agree with you, she should follow her own instincts, not rely on the witterings of a bunch of random strangers on the internet.

But she came on her and asked a question.

WeeOrcadian · 10/09/2023 11:44

I wouldn't care TBH but block if it makes you uncomfortable - you don't need our opinion if YABU or not

Do remember that any context can be missed hwne messaging - there's no way to express tone / sarcasm etc

jlpth · 10/09/2023 11:47

IMO you shouldn’t have even sent the message saying not feeling it. You should have blocked without explanation. You owe nothing to him.

LlynTegid · 10/09/2023 11:50

Yes 100% would block any request for sexual pictures.

HRTQueen · 10/09/2023 11:55

Createausername1970 · 10/09/2023 11:37

I completely agree with you, she should follow her own instincts, not rely on the witterings of a bunch of random strangers on the internet.

But she came on her and asked a question.

Show quote history

for so many women the line is blurred now the op isn’t the first to question on here have I been overly sensitive

if a man approached me in a bar and within a few minutes randomly raised the subject of dick pics I would think wtf I need to get away as I suspect most women would

if looking for a hook up and that’s made clear fine but otherwise why is this now considered so much the norm men will do this time and time again

OLD has unfortunately pushed the bar so low down particularly for women some are fine with this approach but that should not be the expectation

ChristmasFluff · 10/09/2023 11:56

Those of you who would not immediately block - this is absolutely a red flag. Men who genuinely are not interested in dick pics do not talk about dick pics - because they do not cross their mind AT ALL.

It's like if he asked 'I don't know why anyone would murder a woman. I'd never do that, it's really horrible.' Then 'Do you know anyone who's been murdered?'

By asking for her experience, he is hoping she will either be really anti and tell how the pics have offended her, or she will give the green llight. Either way, he will get off on her reaction.

When OLD, you really need strong boundaries, and to NOT give people 'chances', because otherwise you will waste LOTS of time.

Original poster

SpaghettiAndMeatball20 · 10/09/2023 11:57

WeeOrcadian · 10/09/2023 11:44

I wouldn't care TBH but block if it makes you uncomfortable - you don't need our opinion if YABU or not

Do remember that any context can be missed hwne messaging - there's no way to express tone / sarcasm etc

My friend said exactly this too.

OP posts:

Desperatetime · 10/09/2023 13:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

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