OLD.. would you immediately block someone who spoke about dick pics...

[SpaghettiAndMeatball20]

Even if the context was "I don't understand why men send dick picks its hardly the most attractive area"

Then proceeds to ask:

"How many have you have... pics, not dicks 😅"

I abruptly ended the conversation and they've messaged this morning. I feel uncomfortable and want to block...

Just checking I'm not being overly sensitive because to me it felt disrespectful.

A teenaged boy who is a close friend of my daughter checked with me about whether a joke would be appropriate for him to tell her. He's neurodiverse and doesn't always know these things, so it was sensible of him to ask.

I said that as a rule of thumb, it is never a good idea to mention penises to girls unless he is already going out with them and is sure they want to discuss the subject. Doing so risks losing friendships and being accused of sexual harassment.

Surely this bloke must know this. Anyway, he's not 13 and it isn't your job to educate him.

Yuck.

Agree on "testing the waters".

We can chat today about:

• the weather
• economy
• us elections
• work and hobbies
• holidays
• where to go for coffee or visit locally for a meal (BONUS POINTS as that means we're steering towards organising a date now!)

Or a million other things in the universe.

If someone is choosing to steer the conversation to genitalia/kink/weird intense sleazy stuff, it's out of choice/calculation.

Does it matter what other people think? I know you said you weren’t sure if you were being sensitive but as you’ve seen you’re going to get a variety of responses. It’s how you feel about it that matters.

I think he is trying to show he understands some of the issues women face with OLD. Dick pics have been a thing for years, but it's only recent there seems to articles written saying it happens, or adding why women shouldn't have to put up with it. I think he's just making an effort in a perhaps misguided way.

Does your profile say 'no dick pics' ?

He's testing the water, this is modern day flashing. They are weirdos.

When online dating before I met my husband, I was never a fan of them from random blokes, but when it's someone I fancied, conversation has taken a sexual turn, yeah I think they have their place if received respectfully and not unsolicited. Women like men's bodies and some even masturbate. It can surely be that much of a shock to you?

Hmm, maybe I’m being hopelessly naive but my first thought was that he wanted to reassure you he’s not one of the men that would send a dick pic by saying ‘I can’t understand why men do that’ and then tried to be sympathetic to the experience of women who do OLD and having to put with this shit by asking how many you had. But admittedly I always see the good in people when sometimes I should be more wary.

Everyone’s different some would find that funny some wouldn’t
if you don’t find it funny then your not on the same wavelength no one’s right or wrong just not compatible
move on

Agree with some of the others that it just sounds like he wants to reassure you. Clearly if you’re miscommunicating at this early stage then I doubt there’s a future.

Random introduction of talking about dickpics would be a no from me even if the grabble body comment had not already turned me off.

I wouldn’t want one from someone I had no existing sexual rapport with, but I’d be happy to receive one from someone I was sleeping with.

Flaccid or erect

Yeah, genitals don't need to be spoken of before you've even met.

When online dating before I met my husband, I was never a fan of them from random blokes, but when it's someone I fancied, conversation has taken a sexual turn, yeah I think they have their place if received respectfully and not unsolicited. Women like men's bodies and some even masturbate. It can surely be that much of a shock to you?

It's all about context !

Yeah that's just gross

So you never mentioned anything about dick pics then he brings it up and asks how many you have?

instant red flag for me. Weirdo alert:on 🚩

Apply this to any sexual advance in general, I’d be more than happy if my boyfriend tells me what a “hot bod” I have but a stranger in the street saying the same would make him a total creep (and a threat).

Sorry but I have to disagree, talking about genitals with a complete stranger you just met on OLD is not normal etiquette, unless you’re looking for a hook up or “testing the waters”. I’ve been doing old on and of for 20 years and I never ever engaged in a conversation about vaginas with a romantic prospective I just met. That’s just weird.

Yep... that's it. Made no mention of it at all!

Absolutely

How has the bar been lowered so much for mens behaviour that so many women are confused by what is respectful normal behaviour and what is not

that is not a dig at women at all it’s just shocking that there is so little respect

when I OLD (not for long I hate it) my stance was if you approach me like you would in person with your conversation (obviously within reason) then I continue the conversation. If a man approached in me and within a few minutes started talking about his dick or do I wear stockings/heels 🙄I would be getting away from him

Me too! I wouldn’t block just yet.

Was it your or his suggestion to leave the app and switch to WhatsApp? I don't exchange phone numbers until after meeting, because men asking to go straight to WhatsApp tend to be sex pest time wasters. If you keep the chat within the app you can easily report them.

Oh come on

he knows lots of men send dock pics maybe he is one of them

there is nothing more to discuss around the subject unless a conversation has led to the subject

set your standards higher op from the start it will lead you to engaging with fewer men

So you think a man you just met on the internet on a dating site who out of the blue started to talk about dicks is not a red flag? You need to raise that bar higher (unless you’re specifically looking for a hook up).