To feel overwhelmed by school already?

[ArundelCastles]

DD starts reception on Monday. The school has sent me 6 emails in the space of two days, three of them with attached forms that need to be filled in and sent back by Monday and enough text to fill a small book. I'm already swimming in admin that I struggle to keep on top of in the best of times. I was part way through filling in one form and another one came before I'd even pressed 'send'.

They want me to buy X Y and Z for forest school, A B and C for something else. I need to remember this and that, always do this and that, speak to this person for this and that person for that. Write this, print that. Can't do this or that.

Reading record and book sent home which needs to be done by X day.

I need to do a certain amount of phonics and handwriting practicing with my child every day. Etc. I have three children, one significantly disabled and I work myself. I have long term health problems which leave me exhausted by 4pm. Where am I expected to find the time? There isn't enough hours in the day already and I'm stretched thinly as it is.

There was a letter about absence and how all illness related absence require proof from a doctor. How many of us can actually secure an appointment for the same week in this day and age? I know we can't, unless it's an emergency and we go to A&E! What happens If I can't provide 'proof'?

There's a chapter about lateness and how you may be referred to welfare and safeguarding if your child is seen to be late more than twice per term. I've got my disabled child at home who relies on council transport for school which comes to the house at 8.30am. I can't guarantee that there won't be times when we're running late. Sometimes they are late. DS school doesn't bollock the bus driver or send me all of these pushy emails

The way it was all worded sounds so gung ho and 'zero tolerance' no exceptions.

Before somebody has a pop about punctuality being important, of course it is and I would always do my level best to get her in on time but sometimes for reasons beyond our control delays happen. I think it's ridiculous that could be seen as a safeguarding issue in the absence of other factors.

I don't know whether this is in any way related to the fact I have ADHD or whether I'm being ridiculous but I just find this whole thing really, really overwhelming in a way that I didn't when DS started school.

Alot of it reads like a ticking off in advance.

Is this a me problem or does anybody else feel similarly?

It's standard school admin unfortunately.

I use I whiteboard and a family planner. I also find reminder tasks on my mobile invaluable as can set them up at the start of the school year when I get calendar from school. Also use alexa for audio reminders.

All my dc have a white board on wall. With what they need to do each day and we tick off as we go.

Mine being late into school makes them very stressed. If its affordable it might be worth considering paying someone to take dc to school each day.

A few things to suggest/point out.
1 - The newsletter will be auto-emailed to all parents, so whilst it isn’t necessarily relevant right now, it will still be sent to you. Scan it for dates when you get it. There will be something hidden in a random paragraph at some point!
2 - we have some families who we print paper copies of the newsletter for. Would that be easier for you to process? If so, speak with the office (unless you can print at home/work)
3 - as mentioned, speak to the office about your home set up. The school might have a family support worker, or another member of staff, who can help. It will also help them to be more understanding.
4 - if you are running late etc, as already mentioned please just phone and explain. 9 times out of 10, this will be enough. Some school staff can be a bit power happy (same as in any job) but the vast majority are there to help your child, and want to help you as part of that.
5 - go easy on yourself :). It sounds like you have a lot on.

I just ignore it all TBH mine is Y3. It note what I need to and choose not to be threatened by SS and other trite ways of scaring new school parents. SS really eould not even register a couple of days off here and there as a concern.

It's really not that much

• term dates (don't come / do come)
• very occasionally wear different clothes
• a bit of homework

If you've managed adult life up to now it won't be beyond you. Good luck!

I was always up to my eyes in my job- secondary core subject. Primary school stuff was always last minute and often forgotten about. Both my kids were on time, but then they were at their childminder's by 730. They were never off because I couldn't be. Dh had a bit more leeway. Reading and spellings were slotted in between tea and bed. Usually dh, as I had my 'big kids' to worry about. I was usually ok until days like 'wear purple tomorrow' or 'bring a bottle in'

Home schooling. It's a revelation (it also only requires about 2 hours per day as it's 1-1!)

It will calm down somewhat. Interesting insight from this thread that it varies so much school to school. That's another reason for people not to weigh in with "oh I don't find it hard at all, it only takes 2 mins a week" when others are struggling.

Join any parents' groups on WhatsApp, FB or whatever you youngsters use. There's usually someone organised who pops a reminder up for the big things, or you can shout out to them if stuck.

To share the load my husband does all the school online payment system stuff. I don't even have a login to it, so everything financial falls absolutely to him. It's not strictly an efficient way to split the school admin, but it does make me feel less put upon.

That sounds really full on compared to our school.

Obviously no school likes lateness but just do what you can.

You don't need a drs note for the odd day off sick, that's ridiculous. They won't do anything if you don't have one.

Again just do what you can with reading, phonics and handwriting. We did none as DC wouldn't engage. We just read to them instead.

The rest, well frankly yes it is overwhelming.

The way I do it is sit down every Sunday night and look at the two weeks ahead and draw up a visual plan. When I remember 😆

Come on. It gets much easier as the kid can do it themselves. I have 4 kids and by secondary they were on their own to sort it out. Two of the are ND so would get in a bit of a tangle but would get there eventually.

Haha oh thanks so much for the laugh!

So far this term - so in 5 days - we've had:

Request to come to assembly 1 x per child, which needs checking against work diaries and then putting in diary
Request to come on school trip
Date change on assembly
Date change on school trip
Bring in x item by Thursday
Bring in y item by Friday
Fill in this form for school trip next term
Check and sort out incorrect £ charges for a school activity
Book onto after school clubs
Prepare x materials for Monday
Plus 13 other text messages from the school providing information about other things

@smilesup First week of school my secondary child managed to forget PE and lunch on two different days. I either check that she packed all her stuff or I have to drop them off at school for her.

Secondary has more demand of odd items from school I found. Worst is food tech when I got a list of ingredients every week. She can pack them from the cupboards but I have to be organised enough to order them with the weekend delivery. Then PE we were told with a week’s notice to get shin pads and mouth guards. Dance we were told again with a weeks notice for ‘office girl’ costume.

I don’t find it easier to deal with then primary. The things are more expensive and harder to source.