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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel unappreciated as a volunteer

71 replies

VolunteerOrNot · 08/09/2023 12:11

I volunteer at an organisation working with kids, which over the last 6 years has gradually increased from 4hrs to 16hrs pw over 3 days. I do enjoy helping out - but I am starting to feel exhausted as I already work full time and have teens. I have done and am also doing various qualifications which directly benefit the organisation. However, I feel as if there is barely any free time left for me. In the organisation, everyone else is paid, and I am refunded expenses and course fees.

However, I am starting to feel as I am taken advantage of and not valued as much as the other staff members. For example, I am often rota'ed to help ad-hoc for 6-8hr event days - but never asked. This is a large chunk of my weekend. Also, a lot of the staff are given more responsibility i.e. Group Leader - whereas I am always the Assistant - despite being more formally qualified than some of the Group Leaders I am assisting. I am treated as a float cover - which is good in some respects as I get to work with a lot of different staff and children, but the downside is that I don't ever get to know the children in the same way as the Group Leaders do - and I miss this part a lot.

I've got into a position now where I am demotivated as I feel undervalued and unappreciated. I find now, whereas before I would always reliably come in, I CBA anymore - which of course benefits neither the organisation or I, and solidifies my position as cover. I now dislike coming in and never knowing which group of children I will be working with. I also feel resentful that I am spending a huge part of my free time volunteering and studying for their various qualifications - but I am not treated in the same way as a paid staff member. I would stop, but I really do enjoy volunteering with the children.

Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
Pleaseme · 08/09/2023 12:25

Honestly I’d resign. Do you have a good breakpoint in your studies/ qualifications coming up? Find an alternative volunteering position with a fresh group that provides continuity or just take a break from it all.

I think the longer you do something, the more appreciation turns into expectation. It’s tricky to volunteer now as everyone wants you to commit to Rotas etc months in advance. I’ve started volunteering in my local community garden/ growing cooperative and that’s quite nice. I’m aware though that for some senior members they are pretty much doing a full time job in exchange for organic fruit and veg!

MsMartini · 08/09/2023 12:37

I would resign. That sounds like poor practice and that you are being taken advantage of. If you enjoy working with children, I would try to find another volunteering role that you can do regularly with the same group, a Saturday sports or youth group or similar. I volunteer alongside paid staff who do similar things to me - but I can cancel at short notice, have shorter days, skip weeks because of work, no boring admin or meetings........when I stop doing the (PT freelance) day job, I may apply for one of their jobs.

Groovee · 08/09/2023 12:39

As you are a volunteer you can leave as soon as you want to. But I'd be saying no to things if you don't wish to leave.

MothershipG · 08/09/2023 12:47

Have you told them all this?

Think about what parts of the volunteering you do enjoy, decide how many hours you want to do and tell them, I doubt they could easily replace you so you are in a strong position. If they can't accommodate you then it's probably time to take a break.

TripleDaisySummer · 08/09/2023 12:52

I would stop, but I really do enjoy volunteering with the children.

Are there not other local volunteering opportunities that could give you this - maybe try talking to them first but if they don't change perhaps look at something else.

MatildaTheCat · 08/09/2023 12:59

Can I just clarify something? Are you saying that the Group Leaders are paid members of staff? In which case it would be good policy for them to have the responsibility for the group regardless of the fact that you are better qualified and more experienced I imagine.

Is there someone you can meet up with and explain some of this? If you want to work with the same groups of children regularly/ reduce your hours/ choose your own rotas then say so and say it clearly. You are a valuable resource. If they aren’t interested in meeting your needs then it’s time to part company and either have some more free time or find something that suits you better.

Volunteers can be very much taken for granted and it’s a huge mistake but do give them a chance to hear your thoughts.

UsingChangeofName · 08/09/2023 13:17

I would go back to the person that arranges the rotas and tell them all this.
Well, not the part about the paid members of staff and qualifications, I agree with Matilda about that. It will be to do with liability / responsibility / insurance.

No reason to stop volunteering if that is something you do. Just go back and say that you only want to normally do 4 hours. That you don't mind covering up to 8 hours in an emergency, but aren't able to do the 16.
Remind them you are a volunteer and just set boundaries.

EnidSpyton · 08/09/2023 13:25

I would tell them how you’re feeling and give them a chance to make it right before you walk away. If you have never communicated how you would prefer to volunteer your time then they can’t be expected to know things aren’t working for you.

As @MatildaTheCat says there may well be rules around staff/volunteers and the amount of responsibility you are allowed to have for the children compared to paid staff.

Arrange a chat with the manager to lay out how you’re feeling and how you would prefer to help them going forward. Their response will help you decide what’s best for you in future - either staying with them in an adapted role, or finding another organisation that does make you feel valued and enables you to work with the young people in a way that you find fulfilling.

bertagarden · 08/09/2023 13:27

Speak to the volunteer co ordinator, tell them what hours or sessions you’re prepared to do and the groups you want to work with. If they respond badly or won’t accommodate you then quit and go elsewhere

CuriousPixie · 08/09/2023 13:27

Some see your free time as their free labour!
I’m done with most volunteering now. I didn’t mind being an extra pair of hands but more and more is expected of you. I especially avoid anything involving committees.
i only do one voluntary role now but I love it. It’s helping at a hobby of mine and not too onerous.

Hummingbird89 · 08/09/2023 13:28

I would resign, you are being taken advantage of. Also I would give feedback. In a professional way, of course-but I feel it’s important for the organisation to understand why you won’t continue.

PuttingDownRoots · 08/09/2023 13:28

Either have a firm commitment... like you will help only on Thursday evenings for example, or find a new volunteering opportunity.

Embarrassednamechangeadoddle · 08/09/2023 13:33

Do you have supervision? If so have you communicated any of this to the management?

Thing is there is a difference between employed and voluntary staff in various ways- neither is better/worse or more/less valued….but the two are often different.

Sounds like you are feeling very undervalued and it would be worth raising it if you enjoy the work and the issue can be resolved.

Riverlee · 08/09/2023 13:33

Either are resign, and look for other volunteer opportunities, or step back the number of hours.

You’ve somehow become that person who the organisation will call when they have a space to fill- we need someone on Tuesday, it’s ok, Ms Volunteer will do it. Probably in the past you didn’t mind and were happy to help out.

when you start feeling resentment is the time to make changes. Either speak up and assert yourself, ie. What hours you can do, or leave. There’ll be plenty of other organisations who would be happy to gave you.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 08/09/2023 13:37

I run a charity service. In your shoes I'd suggest you speak to or perhaps write to whoever runs the service and say that your circumstances have changed and what you're available for now is [four hours on a Saturday, working with x group/activity] - or however you want to frame it. It's not like they can say no.

We have people with us long-term usually. I think the secret in the sauce is that volunteers can generally choose their tasks/shifts and do make it their own a bit. It can lead to some (limited) extra work for me, gluing it all together, but generally it's worth it for the continuity and skill people build.

saraclara · 08/09/2023 13:43

At my organisation, volunteers are contacted individually every six months or so to check in on how it's going for them, how they're feeling about their roles, and if there's anything they're unhappy with, or any improvements they think we could make. Cha last thing we want is someone to leave us because their not happy, when we could have put things right for them.

So yes, absolutely talk to whoever is responsible for volunteers. Be open with them that you feel taken for granted and being put on rotas/having many more hours assumed of you, without being asked.

If they don't respond with concern and an eagerness to put things right, then I'd walk.

It's easy to end up doing more than you set out to do. I've done the same recently, but our CEO noticed that I was doing too much and told me that I really didn't need to feel obligated to cover for other volunteers absence, and should put myself first.

Original poster
VolunteerOrNot · 08/09/2023 15:31

Thanks for all your responses. I really appreciate everyone's thoughts. I was thinking that as a volunteer, I should just muck in and do anything I am assigned, and that I had less of a say about what I wanted to do than a paid staff member. Although the other staff are all paid, I do have exactly the same insurance and responsibilities as they do. These rise depending on how qualified you become.

I will have a chat with the organisations' management team and state clearly the hours and groups I would prefer to work with. At the beginning when I started doing 4hrs pw this was done, but over the years, the ask has mushroomed - and I'll admit - I've let it!

Thanks to those who have reminded me that also if that conversation doesn't go too well, then I can look for another similar organisation. I do there are plenty others around who would probably be delighted to have a free and experienced body.

OP posts:
Soupsetscared · 08/09/2023 16:40

Ask to be paid

faw2009 · 08/09/2023 16:51

"I had less of a say about what I wanted to do than a paid staff member"

I'd've said it was the other way round!

ohdamnitjanet · 10/09/2023 08:41

You most definitely have more of a say than paid staff! I work for a charity that hugely depends on volunteers, they aren’t treated particularly well and are really taken advantage of. They are leaving in droves. This charity has money and I bet yours does too. NO WAY would I be the ONLY volunteer when all around me are being paid, and shame on your charity for allowing it.

Boredombeckons · 10/09/2023 10:36

Maybe mine is the wrong approach but I wouldn't necessarily tell them upfront I was being taken for granted, in case it became "oh that's the entitled/difficult volunteer" etc... I'd just start firmly and politely drawing my boundaries by nicely saying I can / would like to only do this or that shift/task, or saying I'm afraid that wouldn't work with my schedule. That sends a clear message. Only IF they got paggro/entitled on me, then I would remind them I'm a volunteer doing this for free (in nicer terms).

Boredombeckons · 10/09/2023 10:37

If I do leave though, I would give them feedback about being taken for granted, if I was asked.

Jackydaytona · 10/09/2023 10:38

Resign

SleepingStandingUp · 10/09/2023 10:42

I reckon of you resign, they'll be advertising for a PT paid worker in no time.

Having one volunteer in a whole team of paid employers sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Agapornis · 10/09/2023 11:12

Do you have a volunteer manager you feel you can talk to? @saraclara's advice is good. People's motivations for volunteering are really important and if you don't feel motivated but obliged, I'd take a break of a few months and reassess.

I've previously managed volunteers and made sure to check in with them regularly, whether they're still happy in the role or fancied trying another, maybe fancied a break for a while. I also made sure there was a clear difference in responsibilities and expectations between staff and volunteers. It feels like you have no dedicated volunteer manager who makes sure the volunteers are happy.