How much drinking is too much?

[ellie09]

Just your own thoughts 😊

I would have 2-3 bottles prosecco per week. Spread throughout the week - say one on Wednesday, Friday, Sunday.

Is this excessive to you?

I drink a bottle and feel.completely fine and capable to deal.with an emergency and as a full time worker and single mum I am keen to know your thoughts

fYI I don't binge drink on one day

Rather that the specific amount itself, I personally would think about -

1. Why do I "deserve" a bottle of alcohol?
2. How could I sleep better 11-7 without needing to rely on 3 bottles of alcohol a week?
3. Might my health longer term be better with a reduced regular intake of alcohol?
4. What might some of the benefits to a slight reduction be?
5. How much does it cost each month? What else could that ££ fund for me (not the kids, just for me!) that is fun? Perhas even saved up over 3 months - would it fund a lovely wardrobe addition? Babysitter and a night out with friends? A half spa day?

You said that you were thinking of stopping vaping too?
Maybe have a think if it's best for you to stop both at once? Personally I would do one or the other, not stop both at once. You have however said that you vape after a couple of drinks?
Basically I'm trying to say, don't bite off more than you can chew and set yourself up for failing
Good luck x

Oh definitely!

I've tried to quit vaping once, I lasted one week, then got back on them again through having a drink that weekend! 🫣

I don't really see the alcohol as an issue, but the two do go hand in hand for me. So to give you the vaping, I do think I need to give up the drinking completely, at least until I am at least a couple of months vape free to avoid a trigger.

I think I just need to keep busy and I 100% want to be able to save that money and go on a nice holiday next summer (I think per month I spend £200 or thereabouts on alcohol and vapes so its a very expensive "habit" not to mention so unhealthy as well!)

Thanks for all your advice!

I don't think it's a concerning amount, but it would be good to cut down a bit for various reasons. Can you scale back a bit? Have more booze free nights or drink less when you do.

For me, that level of drinking every week is excessive. Never mind expensive.

Again, for me, that level of drinking would affect my life. I would worry about driving the next day.

Only you can determine whether that level of drinking on a weekly basis is excessive for you. But the fact that you are asking maybe shows you are worried about it.

Gosh, where to even start...

On MN drinkers get super tetchy and defensive about their drinking habits when anyone points out that someone (who has literally asked for input on their drinking) is drinking more than is healthy or drinking problematically. They get a bit upset about the guidelines, developed by actual medics and scientists, and take it as a personal affront even though nobody is trying to stop them from quaffing as much alcohol as they like. Anyone who asks about their drinking will usually get the 'anything more than a thimbleful of sherry at Christmas is an alcohol on MN' response, even though in the real world plenty of people are problem drinkers and don't know it.

People questioning their relationship with alcohol and seeking advice (which they wouldn't do if they weren't at least slightly concerned) should be praised for doing so, not sneered at because they drink less then the posters who bristle immediately at anyone acknowledging you can have a problem with alcohol without downing a litre of vodka per day.

It's honestly quite sad/concerning to see that level of emotional attachment to drinking/sometimes denial, but it does speak to a wider attitude towards alcohol in this country. The whole 'mummy needs wine' shit and 'prosecco mom' twee crap and 'who doesn't drink to cope with kids' makes it seem like it's abnormal to not drink or to drink a small amount. Meanwhile, alcohol-related deaths continue to climb.

Brava, @ClaraMarmalade

I’d add that heavy drinkers often have a skewed idea of what constitutes average drinking. The mean average consumption per week for women aged 35-44 is 8.2. Drinking over the recommended amount is not the norm.

No one is obliged to ask about their drinking on here or to read other peoples threads about it. Drink what you like, own your choices. But coming onto the thread of someone who is looking for advice and trying to undermine the (good) advice that has been given by implying that drinking moderately is somehow aberrant is a shitty thing to do.

It's not that it's necessarily "too much", though obviously drinking 3 bottle of Prosecco isn't providing any benefits- over the years it can cause damage. I like a drink and used to drink waaay too much, but the key is probably what happens if you don't have it?
People seem to think for example, "it's a Saturday of COURSE I'm drinking", but can you go without it? Feeling physically or psychologically that you have to have it is as much an issue as any other signs of alcohol abuse/ addiction.

I think it probably is excessive, and it’s concentrated into only three nights. Could you maybe cut down to two bottles? I mean, my consumption is excessive too; I have two bottles of wine a week, spread over each day, so about a 200ml glass of wine with dinner almost every night. Completely normal in my opinion and would be strange not to in some cultures, but puts me at 17.5 units a week, so I’m an alcoholic according to the Uk medical guidelines! But I suppose you can’t really spread Prosecco across the week, because it’ll be flat. Unless you bought those little bottles instead perhaps?

I hate feeling even vaguely drunk at bedtime and won’t sleep well at all. So I start sipping my glass at 5pm whilst cooking and finish it off with dinner at 6ish, so the glass can go in the dishwasher with the dinner things 🤣

Meh. I have been known to do a bottle of wine a night for many nights.

Sometimes i drink nothing. If you're ok, then it's ok. Lots of the fun police on this thread who i wouldn't fancy hanging out with!

@SevenOhOne I wonder how that figure would change if non-drinkers were excluded from the stats. So, out of only the women who drink, what would their average consumption be? I bet it would be a lot closer to the gvmt upper limit for low-risk drinking.

@ClaraMarmalade do also agree with you on that, and I see there's a comment about "fun police".
Drinking a beer each night, or drinking 10 cocktails every Saturday, or drinking a bottle of wine 2x a week all show some unhealthy need for alcohol. It's the NEED to have it, and denial it's causing any harm is the issue.
I'm in my 20s, and as I said enjoy a drink but don't feel the need to have it for a - fun or b- because it's 'insert excuse to get pissed here.'

Yeah, I don't feel the need for it at all. I have attended most weddings, parties and events without drinking anything.

Honestly, I think boredom and a touch of loneliness as once DS is in bed, I'm on my own.

I got against the norm, where social events give me more drink anxiety so I don't bother with them and just enjoy the company.

Just going to need to occupy myself and get back into my hobbies (which I've neglected since I started my new job!)

Literally no one is policing anyone’s fun. Grow up.

People who can't have fun, or even imagine having fun without being pissed are the absolute least fun people to hang out with.

It sounds totally normal in the group of mid 40’s, middle class Londoners I mix with. In fact it’s on the low side.

if you want to give it up have you tried gummies or the like for relaxation?

I'm quite glad I read this thread I've been drinking a bottle of red wine every Saturday night for a couple of years and thought I had a dirty secret that I had to stop.
Now I don't feel so bad, I didn't even attend my 40 years health check because I thought they'd discover it and take the children now I feel quite normal. I'll drink to that 🍷

Do you actually sleep better though? That would be my main thought. When I cut down on drinking the instant improvement in sleep quality was amazing. That's always my first thought when I see people say booze helps them sleep - it may help you crash out initially but it doesn't really aid good quality sleep.

🤣🤣 I live in canada, yes this guidance is probably the guidance people
follow for drinks allowed …. Before driving !

Of course it would change- not sure how that affects my point. According to https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/research/alcohol-facts-and-data/alcohol-consumption-uk 22% of women in England don’t drink and 12% are at increased or high risk (ie over the recommended limit). So 66% are drinkers within the limit and 88% are within the limit in total.

Heavy drinkers tend to hang out with other heavy drinkers so get a distorted view 🤷‍♀️

As I say, it’s no skin off my nose what people drink- absolutely free choice. But people representing moderate drinking as some sort of MN fad are wrong.

Yes excessive! It’s considerably more than I drink anyway

I drink a bottle of red wine on a Saturday. I didn't even attend my 40 years health check because I thought they'd discover it and take the children

literally sums up Mumsnet hysteria around alcohol. It’s under the weekly guidelines yet you avoided a potentially life saving health check because you were afraid they’d get social services involved

It's just bog standard crabs in a bucket. They're unhappy with their own drinking so rather than see someone else do something about theirs and face the reality that they can and should address it, they sneer and try drag others down. Ever noticed how people who have a problem with alcohol like to accuse non or moderate drinkers of being 'the fun police' or no fun? It unfortunately betrays that they can't imagine having fun without drinking, so they assume everyone else is the same. People in their lives are probably either fellow problem drinkers who flock together cos they validate one another, or they distance themselves from the drinker who thinks they're the life and soul of the party but in reality they're a sloppy drunk that is most unpleasant to be around.

Easier to push away the little niggling voice about drinking too much or loved ones who are concerned when you can portray non/moderate drinkers as po-faced, tightly wound, buttoned up bores.

I'd love to believe that these guidelines don't matter and it's totally fine to drink more than recommended limits, but I assume the medics who develop this guidance know their stuff

@NeedToChangeName that's not actually true. The guidelines are almost entirely arbitrary - a fact that’s been reported on a number of times. And the evidence doesn’t even back it up. In fact it’s healthier (in terms of living longer) to be a moderate drinker (more than 14 units a week) than a non drinker. It’s well explained here (a proper serious science based article! ).

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/the-great-alcohol-cover-up-how-public-health-hid-the-truth-about-drinking/