Bring your whole self to work and other bollocks

[Waitingforthetrain]

Hi

Name changed for this.
Is anyone else sick of all this nonsense.
Now I understand it’s all the rage to encourage diversity and inclusivity, yes all good.
However, I go to work as a means to a end. Until I can find some other way of paying my bills it’s a necessity.
Recently we were asked to complete an anonymous survey. Apparently most people could not be arsed. Those who did told it like it is. Exactly that work is work and that’s all. The manager is flawed, the environment is flawed and if they won the lottery tomorrow then staff would piss off and leave.
Apparently the manager is upset by this. There boss is not happy. Blah blah blah.
We now have to think of team building exercises. Nobody cares.
Management do not listen. Staff leave. Management ask how things can improve then do nothing to change.
I don’t want anyone telling me to leave as the role I have suits my purpose.
I go to work. I like most of the staff. I don’t trust the boss.
I do not want to divulge personal info to management as in the past this has been used as a stick to beat me with. The boss is an expert at slipping in criticism based on what you have divulged previously. For example you say your dad has dementia then the reason you are not smiling inanely at customers us because of your dad. You say you are tired because your toddler kept you up all night and the reason you have performed your task but no more us because if your naughty toddler.
None of the staff want team building exercises as the management stay the same, they never take on staff suggestions such as more flexibility, working from home, staff allowed time off at Easter etc.
Even the first suggestion of where to go for the team building was shot down by one of the managers as they do not want to do that activity.
Just having a rant.
Well done if you’ve got to the end.

YANBU. I don't even take my whole self to home.

I read this article in Forbes recently which suggested that a backlash is coming. https://www.forbes.com/sites/tomaspremuzic/2023/08/24/eight-popular-misconceptions-about-authenticity/

Best place I ever worked was owned by a much hated billionaire - no HR bollocks (just recruitment & payroll), no team building, no 'values', no diversity groups, no employee engagement workshops. You did your job, finished by 6 and went down the pub if you were up for bonding (and if you weren't nobody took it personally). 50/50 male / female leadership team. Best salary benchmark in the industry.

If I brought my whole self to work, the energy vampire colleague who shrieks all day would have been thrown out the window today.
I appreciate a secure job. However as I am unfortunately devoid of private wealth, I am there simply to do my allocated time and tasks and be remunerated for them. Then I return to my real life, which has sweet nothing to do with any of them.
They don't know I'm gay. They don't know my weekend or evening activities or who my friends are. I do some very occasional polite socialising with them but that's it.
One of them gets her whole socialising through work and has already proposed an overnight trip for a Christmas do. Eh no, that's my holiday away from you, thanks anyway 🙄

Definitely bollocks to that!!

As I am nearing the end of my working life (please God!), I have quietly quit. I've been shat on repeatedly over the years. Being called "challenging and insurbordinate" for the 'crime' of having a differing opinion - and then they bring in motivational speakers who tell us to be challenging... duh?!

I won't let people down or leave them in the lurch but I'm so done with all the crap.

I have occasionally asked clients who try to inveigle us into their in house schemes what they found when the did the equalities impact for the proposed exercises/activities as we are also constantly trying to improve on this and I'd find it interesting.

That generally results in exemptions for my people.

I think it was in the early 90s that the team building fad of the day was outward bound courses of the time where you spend several days in the middle of nowhere eating worms.

I always declined the opportunities.

I agree. I’m very good at my job and relatively senior. Nobody wants me to bring my whole self to work, nor do I want anyone else to. Bring your professional, most appropriate self to work and leave the rest at home.

I don’t want people to feel ashamed or like they have to hid something or keep secrets, but leave your personal stuff at the door and do a good job 9-5.

(Also I’m incredibly supportive if your personal stuff is overwhelming for a period and you need more time to deal with it. But take the time away from work/your desk to deal with it, don’t deal with it at work).

I have found my people. I am simultaneously thrilled that so many other people feel the same as me and dismayed that so many companies are doing the same lame and embarrassing bullshit.

Unless you're actually all my colleagues.

Our place is very keen on bringing whole selves to work, and everyone having input to shape the organisation.

Of course they don't actually want to know what we think. Over the years our staff survey has gone from having a free text section, to having one that asks for 5 good things and 5 that need improvement, to asking only for 3 good things, to no free text at all.

We recently had some sort of gratitude system for sending tokens to people who met one of 'values', and people and teams who go the most wach month were mentioned in the all-staff meeting.

That died out and was replaced by crowdsourcing - from which they have taken up all the ideas about things like 'get to know you' flags on desks, but none of the ones about pay, hours, understaffing, sorting out the managers who behave completely unacceptably ...

Every time I hear the words 'building an organisation as brilliant as the people in it' I write another sentence of my resignation letter.

The beatings will continue until staff morale improves!

Team building, whole self.. it's all so American. Britain, with the exception of those platitude robots on The Apprentice cannot take this stuff seriously.

I seem to have brought my slightly sarcastic, overheated and snarky side to work today.

Those who are being dicks are getting short shrift from me - waves at Mr Smart-arse who just got himself a suspension from a group for two weeks for a/breaking the rules then b/arguing with me about it...

Fortunately, I am safely being a computer screen and I can swear like a trooper, then type something really lovely that I absolutely do not fucking mean :)

I am also really lucky that I work for a small company (owned by a HUGE company) that listens to the team, takes on board ideas, lets us blow off steam where necessary and truly appreciates what we do!

@sockarefootwear well said. I’ve said this out loud at work. I’m a boring middle aged woman. I think they prefer if I disappeared.

PMSL it's all part of the Equality Act for those asking the questions its around feeling comfortable to express a protected characteristic or not. That's it. I joined our organisations ED&I all inclusive no hierarchy bla bla so that I could raise any gender critical views (where I was feeling brave enough) though someone raised that we should have "people who menstruate" on the menopause policy and also fucking pronouns raised concern but was shut down! So done with all this crap.

It's a supermarket and it's an outside company that run the surveys. A lot of the questions involve how your particular store is managed so they need to know how many in each store participate. My particular store is well managed and we mostly get on it's just the processes and IT systems that are rubbish.

I hate all this corporate new age nonsense too OP. I always think the people who get enthusiastic have a hidden agenda - they just want to have their face known, gives them an edge of future promotions etc. I’m all for getting on with people in work etc but ultimately I’m there for a wage and that’s it.

When I was younger I think I did bring more of myself to work, I worked very long hours and it backfired on me twice. I like my job and my colleagues and I do my job very well but that's it.

I've sat in so many awaydays over the years and made valid suggestions to improve morale and not one has ever made the light of day. So many promises about following things up that have never happened.

I work(ed) for a local authority who have the "Investors in People" badge. I developed a condition which severely affected my mobility.
I am slowly improving but it will be a long road.

They are unwilling to make changes to my role, or look at relocating me to a more suitable environment/job share so I can work from home.
I am being put forward for early retirement at 50.
I have worked for them for 9 years, often going above & beyond.

So they only want to invest in people who are easy to promote & cause them no time, effort or inconvenience.

That badge means nothing.

I havent read the whole thread OP but although many on the first page are talking about not wanting to bring their whole selves to work, and I agree with that for me, I also dont want or care about other people's 'whole selves'. I dont care if you like yoga, or baking or what religion you are or if you're a crafter or what your favourite colour is. Im not keen on oversharing or people who are performative about a piece of their personality. Im not that interested

I think customer service has gone down the pan because of this focus on 'being your true self'. I dont want your true self, I want whatever your job role is meant to be that day

It has now occurred to me that ''building an organisation as brilliant as the people in it' can work 2 ways.

Simply repeating it ad nauseum won't do anything to make it happen the way it is intended to be understood. However, doing nothing to fix the problems but driving all the good people out will indeed achieve the stated objective with minimum effort.

Suddenly our HR department makes sense.

(And I'm wondering whether I've been spotted by a colleague.)

Nobody would want to see my whole self. I struggle to keep my whole self contained.

I always ask, what if your whole, authentic self is a cunt? No-one has been able to answer that one.

This. I've been there so many times before and it's totally demotivating and a waste of everyone's time 😒