To ignore this friend request in fb from someone bullied me at school

[bagpuss90]

I’m not losing sleep or anything over this. I’m just curious as to what other people think. I’ve joined a certain fb group . One of the other members sent me a friend request and a message via messenger- so she obviously remembers me. She was a bully at my primary school and my senior school. I actually moved schools partly because of her. She made my life hell at times for a good few years. I know she was also a kid back then and I’m fully aware people change. And it was a long time ago. It’s no big deal . But I still don’t feel comfortable with it .

If she’s looking to apologise or anything, then just remember that’s all for herself and to help her own conscience. I wouldn’t give that to her.

In all honesty, I don’t think bullies who contact their victims are fully changed people. They’re clearly still selfish and lack empathy. The very fact that their victim will see a message from them could be upsetting and triggering and it’s just a very thoughtless thing to do. The whole “we’re all adults now” is a load of rubbish.

I'd ignore it. Facebook won't close that person's account down, and I doubt you'd achieve anything by letting the person's current real or internet friends know about their behaviour years ago.

Do this. That's what I did when my old pe teacher tried to friend me. I hated pe at school and this teacher in particular.

You will probably find that she is completely different now though. I found it weirdly amusing when I looked up people from school on facebook and the class thug is now a yoga teacher and the girl who used to carry a briefcase to school now works for Anne Summers.

This is genius! What a retort.

OP, I’d use Sarah’s line verbatim.

I just wouldn’t respond. There’s no reason to, she isn’t an old friend (quite the opposite) and you don’t want to get back in touch.

Ignore and block

A few years ago I was back in the village I grew up in, in the local shop. Somebody who wasn't very nice to me when I was about fourteen was in the queue in front of me

I hadn't seen them in over twenty years. I refused to make eye contact, they kept looking round as if they wanted to talk

Just because it was a long time ago doesn't mean it didn't happen or that it's now okay

You’re an adult you’re allowed to ignore it. The bitch in me who can be a bit childish would want to say “erm why would I want to be friends with you, you made my life hell”! But it’s not the best idea! Although she may want to apologise? Would it make you feel better about the past if she did?