To think on hindsight this was a massive safeguarding breach?!

[Hindsights2020]

Namechanged for this but was thinking recently about something that happened when I was a kid and it's only now I'm an adult with children of my own that it feels really weird, but not sure if times have changed since then (late 90s)

My Y6 teacher (female) lived fairly locally but In a different village. I happened to be friends with an older child who lived nearby which I mentioned in passing to my teacher who said something along the lines of 'oh you'll have to pop round one day'. Being that age I took her at face value and I somehow ended up with her address and we did indeed go round one day after school. I'm not really sure why. She gave us a drink and a snack, we chatted for a bit in her front room then left. I don't think we ever told our parents where we'd been, I expect they thought we were at the village park.

Absolutely nothing bad happened and I don't for a second think that she is unsafe in any way, but aibu to think on hindsight this was over familiar, inappropriate and probably broke all sorts of school safeguarding rules, or were things different back then?!

YANBU - That was weird and inappropriate even then
YABU - things were different then and she was doing no harm

@Zonder "A couple of kids you would love to take home or out for the day?

There's so much wrong with that statement. Thank goodness things have changed.

Why those kids? What about the rest of the kids?"

Presumably because the OP can see that the children concerned do not have the advantages the others do and are missing out. The OP would like to be able to fill the gaps.

What were you thinking?

At primary school in the 90s, me and my friend decided to 'run away' because the teacher shouted too much. We were aged about 9 or 10. We walked straight out of the gate at dinnertime, went to my friends house who lived in the next street(nobody was in) and watched TV for around an hour until a teacher came and found us and we got returned. At the end of the day, they didn't even tell my mum what had happened! Imagine the uproar if it happened now...

One male teacher was a Jehova’s Witness and spent every spare minute he wasn’t teaching canvassing (his wife had died young while giving birth and he was still traumatised by it) - parents often felt sorry for him and so invited him for dinner. He ate dinner at a different students’ house everyday and would help with all manner of things - he fixed our boiler once and helped the lady next door with her visa. I can’t imagine any teacher being allowed to do this now but he was a real pillar of the community.

I think this is a completely different situation where adults have invited another adult from within the community into their homes. Adults are still allowed to be friendly with their children's teachers.

In my job now (obviously not teaching) I'm able to take children out alone in my car or walking or on public transport if necessary, out to an activity, to drop them off somewhere or out for food for example. I'm often alone with children and young people of all ages, in my car, office, their home. I have older children's (teens) numbers (in my work phone) and I message them to organise coming to see them or send updates. I'd never message just for the sake of it or take them to my house or to anything to do with my personal life of course. I do message to check in if I know something important is going on or I know they are having a hard time. I'm really glad this part of my job has not been taken away. I totally understand the need for safeguarding and protecting children and the teachers for that matter, but I'm still glad I get to do this as it's the best part of my job and why I stick around even though the rest of it is pretty rubbish.

Well she didn't specify that so you're making an assumption. For all we know she could just think those kids are particularly cute. It's an odd thing to say. We need to be impartial and treat all children equally.

@Zonder all children are not treated equally in school - they are treated as individuals and their needs responded to as such. Some need extra support with learning or managing in the environment , some due to their home lives need nurture - you can rest assured though that no one is giving kids extra support because they are cute 🙄

Well that's what the post sounded like @liveforsummer

I find it strange you chose to interpret it that way , it was obviously clear to others why someone might wish to offer things to specific children.

However since it wasn't specified in the post it was clearly open to interpretation. And as professionals working with children we have to be seen not to have favourites. Up thread I mentioned the head teacher who took a group of boys sailing every week. That wasn't based on any kind of need.

About 30 years ago I slept over at my year 6 teachers house for a weekend. She wasn't my teacher at the time, it was probably 2 years after I had been in her class.
I was having a hard time and she lived in the hills. I am not sure how it came about actually.
I knew it was an odd thing at the time and I wasn't supposed to tell other kids about it. She was lovely, she had 2 older daughters who I really enjoyed spending time with and I still remember helping them brush their 2 sausage dogs teeth with bone flavoured dog tooth paste.
It would never happen now I know but I had severe depression and think that they thought it would help me somehow.

This wouldn't have been considered a problem 25-30 years ago.

At secondary school when I was doing GCSEs one of my teachers used to give me a lift home if I stayed late doing coursework. She’d always say she was “going your way”, but I found out a few years later she actually lived in the opposite direction. She was the one teacher who got me through secondary school and I’d love to be able to tell her now.

I always thought once I drove I would stop for school kids at bus stops in the rain and offer a lift, but of course now it’s not the done thing