To think on hindsight this was a massive safeguarding breach?!

[Hindsights2020]

Namechanged for this but was thinking recently about something that happened when I was a kid and it's only now I'm an adult with children of my own that it feels really weird, but not sure if times have changed since then (late 90s)

My Y6 teacher (female) lived fairly locally but In a different village. I happened to be friends with an older child who lived nearby which I mentioned in passing to my teacher who said something along the lines of 'oh you'll have to pop round one day'. Being that age I took her at face value and I somehow ended up with her address and we did indeed go round one day after school. I'm not really sure why. She gave us a drink and a snack, we chatted for a bit in her front room then left. I don't think we ever told our parents where we'd been, I expect they thought we were at the village park.

Absolutely nothing bad happened and I don't for a second think that she is unsafe in any way, but aibu to think on hindsight this was over familiar, inappropriate and probably broke all sorts of school safeguarding rules, or were things different back then?!

YANBU - That was weird and inappropriate even then
YABU - things were different then and she was doing no harm

Our village priest used to have an ice cream maker, and would let kids into his front room, give them ice cream and then let them go on their way. This was the second half of the 1970s.

Nothing happened. It was good ice cream.

The past is a different country for sure!

Some lovely stories here about kind people doing something nice for children

Today's world may be safer, but we've definitely lost something too

My Year 2 teacher took the whole class to her house to see some birds in her garden, and we had a slice of cake and a drink of pop. This would have been in about 1989/1990.

completely normal at the time - we used to go round to our teacher house occasionally. Most people are kind to children. The problem is that some people are not, and because of them, all these nice, friendly laid back habit had to end

About 1988... Teen Friend was struggling in his personal life. His teacher used to turn up friend's house, knock on the door, wake him up, get him up & out & give him a lift to school. To makes sure he got there.

Today friend would just be allowed to fail school.

Hoorah! Safeguarding. It's so great. <waves limp flag>

I was at secondary school in London in the 90s. Lived about 45 mins drive away. I was poorly at school one day and one of the teachers drove me home. Would never be allowed now.

So many things which would be a safeguarding issue now we're just normal in the 70s and 80s.

For example, I used to babysit for my maths teacher and his wife as they lived nearby when I was about 16. He used to pick me up and take me home afterwards. Nobody thought it was odd, I just liked the money.

A male neighbour who was probably in his 60s often had an entourage of local kids when he took his dogs for a walk in the forest. I expect our parents were simply pleased to rid of us for a while.

Not forgetting all the babies left in prams outside shops.

To quote L P Hartley "The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there."

Same. I’m not going to lament the changes because I’m glad children are better protected from the rare predators now, but it’s important not to lose sight of the fact that the vast majority of people are good and honest and not child abusers.

I was 15 and used to meet a friend on the corner of the road to walk to school. If we timed it right one of our (male) teachers would be leaving his house as we walked past and would give us a lift.

I had my son late 90s and I'm not sure safeguarding really existed then unless you were under the dreaded Social Services.

With Dunblane came locked school gates and with Ian Huntley came the then CRB checks.

Primary schools didn't have locked gates. Middle and Upper schools didn't have gates.

Lots of abuse going on from teachers whilst I was growing up. Things that shock my kids today. Being forced to shower naked at middle school from aged 9-12 with a male teacher exclaiming come on girls I'm not looking.

We needed those showers of course after a 30 minute game of netball. Boys didn't!

All sorts went on.

It’s definitely a good thing that there are boundaries to protect children from those who do have bad intentions. It is sad however that, as usual, those with good intentions can’t do nice things as a result. Of course it’s better this way but it is a shame.

You've just reminded me that my tutor at secondary school gave all the parents (and kids!) his home phone number at the pre year 7 info evening, he wrote it on the board. It's a very memorable number - think 112233 - and I still remember it today, almost 30 years later! He still lives in the same house, so I could call him now if the mood took me! 😂

I also remember in primary school, halloween, a teacher telling us how some kids had knocked his door trick or treating, he'd invited them in, shut the door, and proceeded to give them a bollocking about going into strangers houses and how it was so dangerous and we mustn't do it either. We all just thought he was a miserable sod and felt sorry for the poor kids who didn't get any sweets!

I was a Brown Owl in the 90s and early 00s in my village. I regularly had all my girls to the house as we had a lovely large garden, so they could play outdoor games, cook on a fire etc.
I'd also looked after nearly all of them in the local nursery too!

Agree with the sentiments in here, safeguarding is a necessity and I wouldn't want to change the system now, but it does mean sacrifices. I've worked in children's homes, and remember one year feeling gutted for a child who on Christmas Day was the only one at the home - everyone else had some family that they could go to. We did our best to spoil her, but it was noticeably quiet and empty (usually five children lived there) Our manager (who was also a foster carer) told us that in the past if similar happened, they would lock up the home and taken them to his where'd he'd host a big family Christmas with his own family+ any foster children or children from the children's homes.

I think the Soham murders were a big turning point for safeguarding.

This happens now. Just in a formalized and recorded way. I've worked on at least 3 schools where staff have collected students, regularly or occasionally.

The ed sec made a weird statement about just that in July, actually https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12298925/amp/Headteachers-prepared-drive-children-school-says-Gillian-Keegan.html

I'm a Safeguarding Lead in a school. I regularly go to the homes of students who are struggling, or whose families are struggling for various reasons, to wake them up, give them breakfast and drive them to school, made sure they get into school, turn up for their exams, work experience placements etc. So do several of my colleagues. All done with parents agreement, documented, and not breaching any policies or procedures...these things happen in schools every day.

I have also frequently taken kids to medical appointments when parents refused to take them, taken kids to the dentist and opticians, driven them home when no one turned up to collect them from school.

"Safeguarding" doesn't prevent these things from happening, these things happen because safeguarding issues have been identified and adults in school take action to improve things for children. So yeah, hoo-fucking-rah for Safeguarding! <waves giant flag>

My secondary school was on a split site so teachers were often driving between the two sites. I lived halfway between the sites and teachers would often stop to give me a lift if they saw me walking. This was in the 80’s. I now work in a school and wouldn't dare offer a lift to students.

I somehow ended up at a teachers house helping her pick fruit with a couple of my friends she was sick so asked for voulenteers a parent dropped us off and i ended up climbing over an old broken car to get the fruit and sliding down the windscreen

Love a bit of health and safety 👌

I was thinking about one of our English teachers today who used to throw a massive party at her house for students who had been in her plays.

Then I remembered that we had an elderly man who came to our primary school once a week to do woodwork. He volunteered with the church too. He took me and my friend out for the day to the seaside once - we must have been about 8.

Different times.

And it did you no harm, HuwEdwardsBottom.

I’m a similar age and lived fairly close to three science teachers. I do think it was a different age.

The female teacher used to always have kids round - she’d even help with homework / make dinners etc. Her daughter even made money babysitting her students and and their siblings which would never be allowed now.

One male teacher was a Jehova’s Witness and spent every spare minute he wasn’t teaching canvassing (his wife had died young while giving birth and he was still traumatised by it) - parents often felt sorry for him and so invited him for dinner. He ate dinner at a different students’ house everyday and would help with all manner of things - he fixed our boiler once and helped the lady next door with her visa. I can’t imagine any teacher being allowed to do this now but he was a real pillar of the community.

The other male teacher refused to socialise. If we bumped into him in the street he’d act as if he didn’t see us. He was a good looking man, girls often tried to get his attention after school and people just equated his behaviour to being scared of being seen as doing something inappropriate. Eventually he moved away. Weirdly he did end up marrying one of his ex-students from here and so maybe there was something nefarious about him.

This is how life used to be. I miss it and wish we could go back to trusting people again.
These days, and particularly on this site, everyone is a child abuser just waiting to lock you up in a cellar.
I grew up in the 80s/90s, happily popping in to see people. The neighbour with a new baby that I wanted to hold, the neighbour with an apple tree in the garden who let me pick some, the shop keeper who let me sweep the shop floor (I asked if I could!) in exchange for sweets, and so on. If a teacher had said to me I should pop in one day I would have felt really special and definitely would have gone!

But yes, unfortunately I like many others, I did experience abuse, but it was from someone my parents knew and trusted well and was in my own home. This is still the most like scenario for child abuse, not stranger danger. I don't think your teacher did anything wrong at all.

Kids need to learn how to engage with other people. This skill can really be developed with trusted adults (as well as other children) outside of the immediate family.

@Callyem oh I'd completely forgotten about that! I went to a Brownie leader's house to do my cooks badge. No parent present!

I was only 6. Different times.