Hi everyone, this is my first post so apologies if this isn’t in the right place and for the long post but I need some anonymous advice as I can’t face telling anyone I know about this.
I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant and on a group holiday with my partner in turkey with his friendship group for a wedding. It’s been mostly great but I have been feeling quite tired and sick for the past few weeks of being pregnant.
Very sadly a close friend of my partner’s passed away 2 days ago while we were on the trip. He is very upset of course but doing his best to hold it together.
Last night we went out for dinner in a group, him and some other boys we were with were drinking very heavily and being quite loud in the restaurant. I was quieter than normal because I wasn’t feeling 100%. My partner kept asking me why I was grumpy with him and I kept telling him I just wasn’t feeling great. He kept on asking to the point it got annoying so I did take a tone but only quietly because i wanted him to stop asking. He got quite angry and quietly called me some nasty names. Him and his friends got progressively louder and quite obnoxious so I moved to the other end of the table to sit with some of the other girlfriends in the group but I want annoyed with him at all. When the meal was finished some of the group went to another bar (because we were embarrassed of some of the group shouting quite offensive things in the restaurant). I kissed my partner, told him where we were going and that I loved him.
I was having a great time at the other bar (obviously not drinking) until my partner came. I went to sit with him and he started spitting venom at me (F you, I hate you etc) quietly so no one else could hear.
Eventually him and I left the bar. The whole walk home he was screaming at me and saying some of the nastiest things (F you again, hate you, you’re such a nasty C, that I was emotionless, wouldn’t care if my best friend died). He even repeatedly shouted at me to get rid of that thing inside me. His justification was that I embarrassed him in front of his friends and left him to go to the other bar when he was in his darkest hour and his phone was dead (when I left he was chanting with the other guys I told him where we were going, yes his phone was dead but the others had phones on them).
His shouting on the walk home that multiple people came out to check I was ok. He did hit me on the arm at one point but not hard. The police were also called by someone who obviously heard and thought I was in danger. I promised them I was ok and they went away.
This morning he’s doubled down, still saying he hates me, it’s my fault and that I’m a nasty C. He’s also denying saying that I should get rid of the baby.
I don’t know what to do. We’re only half way through the trip. Is he abusive or am I awful for not being more understanding?