To ask for your stories about not responding and maintaining a dignified silence.

[girlfriend44]

Usually when theres a row with friends/family messages go backwards and forwards, everyone believes they are right and tries to have the last word.
They say that silence is powerful and the best response.

Can I hear your stories of this where nobody has said anything after a fall out, no messaging, no blocking, no replies etc. Have you maintained a dignified silence after a bust up or disagreement?

whats your experience, is it still ongoing?

Doesn’t sound like a journalist at all… 🤔

What's your story about this subject OP?

You go first.

It's not a very interesting subject, really, is it? 'I didn't reply, and so the conversation ended.'

I refused to engage and lived happily ever after...the end.

Well for me the best one was years ago I was part of a huge homeschooling community when my children were young. I was very close to one of the women there. We had a huge falling out. She wanted to take it public, and after the initial blow up when I said I no longer wished to be friends, I would not speak to her, but refused to air my dirty laundry. It was REALLY tough because she refused to accept I wanted to end the friendship and badmouthed me to everyone who listened, people took sides, my children were ostracized from homeschooling groups and meet ups which we desperately needed and at times I really considered giving my side to people or talking to her - but I maintained and continue to maintain a dignified silence on it despite having heaps of people privately talking to me about it and wanting me to share. My mother always raised me to believe in disputes like that 'silence is golden'. I beleive it is. In the end, after 6 months of really damaging character assassination, she moved onto someone else, then someone else, then someone else and it seemed to be a pattern. I got a lot of apologies from people who were drawn in at the time.

This lesson to never gossip and overshare held me in good stead when later in life I left my abusive husband. He bitched about me to all and sundry but I never bit. If i fall out with someone and Im done then Im done and I dont talk about it to them or anyone else. I think it shows more integrity and if I hear someone gossiping about others I must admit I judge.

As for when I've had an argument with someone and then we pretend it hasnt happened - no i wouldnt do that, but i would say 'we can agree to disagree' then move on. I think that has its place, and no one needs to agree with me!

^ Pretty much this

yes - I had a row, now we are just not talking and life goes on

@soooomuchroomforactivities love your username. Is that from Stepbrothers?

It is! My favourite film. 😊I have very sophisticated taste.

I was dumped earlier this year
he sent a shitty text

I read it and ignored
he then sent 2 more random messages which I also ignored

i was so proud of myself 😉

<<maintains dignified silence>>

I do that too with my abusive ex. It absolutely enrages him to be ignored. He hates it more than anything. Wont deny that I take great pleasure in completely ignoring him.

not a journalist regular poster.
inspired by the post about the wedding, whether to move on, ignore or answer back to the family member who wasnt invited.

It’s hilarious. My niece and I have never got over the bunk beds scene 🤣🤣

All well and good, what happens when you see them when your out shopping , How do you know to say hello or not?

Did you just become best friends?

We had an issue and nobody said anything. The end. Total silence. Silence is bliss.

I think you ignore and move on. There isn't really anything to say, as it cuts the drama off. The type of families and friendship groups who have huge rows and lots of backwards and forwards are not the type I want to be involved in. I had a falling out with my relative when I should have maintained the higher ground; we made up immediately, but our relationship has never fully recovered.

I am an expert at ignoring annoying fuckers. I just carry on about my business.

My Dsis sent me a text a few weeks before my wedding to say she wasn't coming, with zero explanation. This was after a few years of erratic and exhausting behaviour where she would cut me off and then reel me back in at her will. I never responded and we have not seen or spoken to each other since. Its very sad as there are also young kids missing out on family connections, but there is also relief at not walking on eggshells and jumping through hoops to keep her happy.

A long time ago, a "friend" sent me a long, rambling text outlining everything wrong with me and ending our friendship. I read it, thought ending the friendship had been on the cards for a while and went back to sleep. Later in the day I got various further texts asking why I hadn't responded, which I thought was a bit weird. We were no longer friends and I had nothing to say to her. In the end I just blocked her. A couple of people asked what had happened and I just told them to ask her.

That was it, really. Saw her at a wedding years later, we just ignored each other although her husband got me a coffee when we both ended up at the dispenser at the same time. He seemed nice.

people expect you to reply dont they, glad you didnt.

No reply is a reply, and it's a powerful one.

Funny how I can be more zen about a RL friendship than a Mumsnet bunfight though 😂

When someone is being a nasty twat I've often found no response is the best response.