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Look like I‘ve lied but I really haven’t!

56 replies

Pantsarentonfire · 05/09/2023 12:09

Missed something key at work yesterday through the most ridiculous sounding and unlikely tech error. I didn’t find out I’d missed it at all, until the issue resolved itself today and I spotted the request in the system. My manager is really annoyed and wants a chat later today.

I explained the situation and 100% he doesn’t believe me. I don’t blame him. It sounds like the grown-up version of “the dog ate my homework” and I just couldn’t be bothered to do it.

Lost sleep over it last night and am super stressed about the chat later today.

I’m worried but I’m also very saddened that in the 10 years of working for him, he hasn’t built enough of a view of me to know I’m not a liar or skiver.

In the absence of being able to prove it, how do I stand my ground without making the situation worse? I really don’t want to be apologising and falling on my sword for something that I had no control over. I’m trying to remind myself that I’m an 40 something woman and not a child though, and I’d like to approach the conversation accordingly.

OP posts:
Fuckthatguy · 05/09/2023 12:13

There will be an audit trail of any system issue, but if your boss has this attitude towards his team you may want to reconsider your options.

EarringsandLipstick · 05/09/2023 12:20

If you haven't chatted with him yet, how do you know he doesn't believe you?

Explain the situation, acknowledge any error on your part, and see how he responds.

If he seems to regard this as more than a genuine mistake or behaves disproportionately, then address that.

HappiestSleeping · 05/09/2023 12:34

Also, I would confront the fact that it looks odd head on. That way you aren't looking like you're hiding anything.

Beautiful3 · 05/09/2023 12:56

Call up it and explain the situation and ask them to help ensure it doesn't happen again. When they investigate they'll probably email you what happened. Forward that onto your boss to explain what happened.

LIZS · 05/09/2023 13:00

Why did you lose sleep if you were only aware of it today? Maybe manager wants to identify a system glitch that allowed it to occur.

MuggedByTheSleepThief · 05/09/2023 13:03

Perhaps tackle it from the position of asking how the company can stop this happening again - try and make the meeting about solving the problem with the absolute starting point being that bit is a provable tech issue. Tell him you don’t want you or anyone else being out in this position again.

If he comes at it from a position of not believing the glitch occurred then ask him to satisfy himself through IT sppt or whatever - as your meeting is not going to be productive if you are not operating from the same fact base. Don’t be put in a position of trying to justify yourself, you have done nothing wrong

Pantsarentonfire · 05/09/2023 13:05

EarringsandLipstick · 05/09/2023 12:20

If you haven't chatted with him yet, how do you know he doesn't believe you?

Explain the situation, acknowledge any error on your part, and see how he responds.

If he seems to regard this as more than a genuine mistake or behaves disproportionately, then address that.

He angrily messaged me last night and asked why I’d clocked out early when there was clearly a request in the system. I definitely hadn’t seen it. I said that last night and he just said “it’s definitely there” and didn’t respond after that.

I checked and I can see it came through yesterday but it also was 1000% not there when I clocked out yesterday. I know this for absolute certain.

I apologised and explained the situation and he was very very curt (again, the excuse sounds completely made up) and said he wanted to discuss it more later.

The worst thing is that while I was important to pick it up (because he’s quite strict on that), it wasn’t actually an urgent request, which makes it seem even more like I just left it as I wanted to clock out.

OP posts:
Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 05/09/2023 13:07

Absolutely don't tell him you lost sleep over it last night if the glitch was only discovered this morning. If you are running with the glitch rather than forgot story, you need it to be solid. 🕵️‍♀️

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 05/09/2023 13:08

Oh okay, crossed posted, makes sense now!

Thewhothewhatnow · 05/09/2023 13:09

He shouldn't be messaging you at night in your personal time. I would make a complaint about that.

Duttercup · 05/09/2023 13:09

I’m trying to remind myself that I’m an 40 something woman and not a child though, and I’d like to approach the conversation accordingly.

I mean, this. You're a grown up at work. What's he going to do? Tell you off? Either take your telling off and say sorry and get on with your day, or mount a defence and then say sorry and get on with your day. Either way, get on with your day.

Circumferences · 05/09/2023 13:10

Why are you scared of your boss?
Just look them in the eye and tell the truth.
You have a decade of being reliable behind you. Don't stress. Emphasise your concern that this sort of glitch shouldn't happen again.

Zanatdy · 05/09/2023 13:12

If your boss doesn’t believe you i’d make it very clear that you’re very disappointed that after 10yrs he doesn’t know or trust you well enough to know that you wouldn’t do that.

MustBeDueSomeBetterFeet · 05/09/2023 13:12

I would also focus on what the impact of this, regardless of whose fault it was or was not.

Did the request need actioning yesterday? Is there an SLA in place? Or could it wait until today with no issue to the person requesting it? In which case, no harm done.

Moccasin · 05/09/2023 13:33

@Pantsarentonfire
“I’m also very saddened that in the 10 years of working for him, he hasn’t built enough of a view of me to know I’m not a liar or skiver.”

👆 can’t you say just that?
Plus apologise of course and point out that it hasn’t happened before, it was merely human error.

MindPalace · 05/09/2023 13:38

Even if it was your fault, a good organisation/boss does not spend time imputing blame. Instead they should focus on putting in place processes to avoid the likelihood of the mistake happening again. But mistakes will always happen, it’s part of life. An organisation should be judged on how it deals with those mistakes rather than the mistake itself.

Sounds like a poor boss tbh. Try not to worry. x

Welcomer · 05/09/2023 13:40

Hopefully he'll calm down. In your situation i would stick with a simple apology - I'm sorry when I clocked off there weren't any waiting, there must have been a mistake. And leave it at that.

Quitelikeit · 05/09/2023 13:43

Seems odd that your system is broken at work?

computers and systems don’t lie and if they do then you need to get IT in to see what happened

dankfarrik · 05/09/2023 13:58

Start taking a screenshot when you log out. You shouldn't have to but now you know what he's like.

Systems go wrong all the time. It's never infallible.

InSpainTheRain · 05/09/2023 14:00

Prepare what you need to explain succinctly.
If he doesn't believe you suggest he gets the audit trail reviewed.
I may resort to "I've worked you for 10 years so I hope you know I don't lie by now"

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 05/09/2023 14:00

Can you contact IT and report the issue/ ask if this is a known issue? It might be something that comes to light after several reports, or that has already come to light but you and your manager are not aware of it.

Otherwise tell you boss very clearly that you did check for tasks last night but there were none showing, and in your opinion this is a tech error and you have contacted the IT dept to notify them. That you accept there is a minimal possibility that this was your error, but you truthfully and genuinely believed there was nothing outstanding, and you are disappointed that you are being labelled as a person of poor character over this. That you are a staff member with 10 years service and you would hope that they know that you aim to act with honesty and integrity at all times. That you are sorry the error occurred and will continue, as ever, to make sure all tasks are complete before logging off for the day, but that really is all you can do.

TotalOverhaul · 05/09/2023 14:05

MuggedByTheSleepThief · 05/09/2023 13:03

Perhaps tackle it from the position of asking how the company can stop this happening again - try and make the meeting about solving the problem with the absolute starting point being that bit is a provable tech issue. Tell him you don’t want you or anyone else being out in this position again.

If he comes at it from a position of not believing the glitch occurred then ask him to satisfy himself through IT sppt or whatever - as your meeting is not going to be productive if you are not operating from the same fact base. Don’t be put in a position of trying to justify yourself, you have done nothing wrong

This is a brilliant response.

I would also be prepared to be very firm indeed if he implies you are lying and say what you said here: I have worked here for ten years. If, in that time, you have not yet built an opinion of me, based on my performance, that I tell the truth and am dependable, then that is as big an issue as the one-off tech glitch which I missed yesterday.

Anyone who trusts machines more than loyal, dependable workers should reread the scandal about the post office workers.

LampHat · 05/09/2023 14:08

Quitelikeit · 05/09/2023 13:43

Seems odd that your system is broken at work?

computers and systems don’t lie and if they do then you need to get IT in to see what happened

How is that odd? Systems at my work break down / glitch all the time! It’s just part of office life. Things don’t refresh, go offline, links get broken. It happens.

coxesorangepippin · 05/09/2023 14:10

Systems break down all the time

I had an email mysteriously just disappear last week- wasn't in the deleted folder, nothing

It's not infallible

Whatswhatwhichiswhich · 05/09/2023 14:12

I think the only thing you can do here is apologise, repeat that you’d not seen the request and leave it at that. If the request was there and you didn’t see it and you left at your finishing time then no one is really at fault. Would staying to have fixed the issue caused you to go into overtime?

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