To ask DP and SS to not eat unhealthy food in front of DS

[benjsloop]

Growing up, DP had a very poor diet where he was only given frozen food and ate a lot of crisps and sugary food. He has a 16 year old DS from a previous relationship, living with us full time and he's exactly the same. He eats tinned and frozen food for dinner mostly and eats crisps and chocolate, not really much fruit or veg. I came into his life when he was 10 so he was already used to this diet. He does eat what I make occasionally if it's something he likes for example spaghetti Bolognese.

I have a 4 year old and he is starting to refuse meals I make and would rather eat what his dad and brother are eating. They're often giving him crisps and chocolate so now he cries and cries wanting them. I don't leave DS alone with them because I know what he'll be given.

I don't have an issue with what they eat, I know it's unhealthy but they're a normal healthy weight and I can't stop them from eating what they like but I'm wondering if itd be unreasonable to ask them to not eat all that in front of DS.

I don't mind him having occasional treats but I don't want it to be all he eats. He was previously a very good eater.

Why cant her "D"P act like a responsible parent and not give a FOUR YEAR OLD junk?

A daily diet of McDonald's and similar junk food may not be technically child abuse but it us most definitely neglect. And I'd put a very large question mark over whether it amounts to keeping children "healthy" - it's certainly setting them up for quite serious health issues only a few years down the road.

Did op say McDonald's was DAILY? I must have missed that

I usually do the weekly grocery shop but DP also goes shopping and buys what he wants, as does SS.

Ok I'll bite - these problems needed to be addressed before your dc was thought about. The issue really is you aren't eating together meals you can agree on. What did you eat yourself before dc, did you eat with your dp?

Introducing family eating most nights would be the solution but you need them to buy in of course, perhaps take turns cooking and everyone eat's together. My children have eaten as a family since they could sit up, no exceptions (around 6.30pm) and when I moved in with dp and his dd chose to live with us she was told the house rules. It can work and everyone eats better

DS was unplanned so it wasn't as simple as addressing it before I had him. We don't all eat together as DP doesn't eat until 7pm due to him working but he's the same at weekends. I give DS his dinner at 5:30. Before DS I ate separate meals to DP and SS but we are at the same time mostly but by the time I moved in SS was 11/12 so his bedtime was much later than DS’s.

@benjsloop what are they all drinking? Don't think you answered that? If they're all on water that's great. But if they're leading with fizzy drinks on top of all the other stuff then it's a different matter

DP and SS usually drink fizzy drinks yes, but DS has water, fruit juice and he still has a cup of milk before he goes to bed.

You seem controlling.

There’s always one that doesn’t read the original post properly. It’s not about ‘A packet of crisps’, is it? Surely you must’ve read it. It’s consistent junk food that her son is now crying for. She even went on to say she doesn’t mind occasional treats.

I don't see how getting your way here is tenable. I don't doubt that a healthy diet is better for everyone to eat, but enforcing that is an entirely different matter.

The only way I could see it working is if you controlled every meal time and that isn't going to work for you or anyone else.

It’s more of a concern that you can’t leave you son with his dad. Whatever the reason, you need to address it and stop that.