AIBU to not know how on earth to help DD with her frizzy hair?

[sunseeker19]

I am at a loss how to help DD style her hair type which unfortunately she's inherited from me - straight (only low-level waves not curls), greasy at the roots, dry and frizzy through the lengths. It's really thick, and very tangly, which means it always looks "big" and unkept.
She'd love smooth hair that lies flat, which she can wear in a hair-down style, and I've found the only thing that works for me with this hair type is keratin straightening, but I don't feel comfortable with that chemical strength for her age.
Suggestions like curly girl / using conditioner only / no dry brushing would leave her hair totally greasy or tangly or both. Please help, suggestions massively welcome...!

Ps stuff that works at times and others doesn’t: herbal essence the hydration one, L’Oréal dream lengths and I always use Shea moisture milk, frizz ease and argan/macadamia oil and a heat defence spray.

Have you got a photo, then we can see what your working with.

Sounds like my daughter, took us a lot of trial and error.

What works really well was spraying her hair every morning using a Misting bottle with just water until damp, then spraying a small amount of Cantu Coil Clam Detangler. Then just using fingers to run through her hair until there no tangle or friz. We never combing or brushing. That works so well and on minutes her hair is friz and tangleaa free for the whole day. As someone else said, mainly cowash - Cantu kids conditioner or Carol's Daughter works really well.

Mane ‘n Tail Detangler Spray – The Tangles and Knots Solution – pH Balanced Formula. Helps to Eliminate Tangles and Knots, Natural herbal extracts, Helps Prevent Hair Loss – for All Hair Types amzn.eu/d/gc74x1v

Not just for horses!

It's great stuff.

A friend of mine's younger sister had the chemical straightening for the first time when she was about 13. She has SEN and is mentally a lot younger. Her parents just came to the conclusion that there were bigger fish to fry regarding her, than battling with her hair every single day. They weighed up the risks and concluded it was worth it. They now say it was one of the best things they did for her care when she was a teenager.

She's in her mid-30s now. She still has the occasional chemical straightening, but more time passes between sessions, as she's now able to do some of the care herself.

Wow thanks so much for all the great advice! Going to go through these and think about what may work best. It definitely sounds like treating the scalp hair and lengths hair completely differently is great advice.

To answer questions/suggestions that have come up a few times:

• DD is 11
• Hair definitely low level wavy rather than curly - we've tried for curls and and I tried to for mine too as I love hair like some of the pics people have shared! Ours is definitely "straight with a bit of a kink here and there" rather than curly unfortunately
• I can get away with finger combing mine, but unfortunately not DD's as hers is very tangly, several times a day

Are there any products people have tried that are good for lengths at smoothing and kind of weighing it down? Is it a leave in conditioner / serum / mousse that would be best for this?

I spent most of my teens hating my frizzy hair.. turns out it's curly!
My routine is wash and condition, comb whilst still soaking wet, partially dry with a T-shirt, scrunch in John Freida mousse, scrunch whilst using hairdryer, diffuse at the end, hairspray.

My top tip is to put product in immediately after rinsing conditioner off. No towel drying before styling. Wrap a towel round (microfibre or t shirt) once styling cream/product applied. Don't rub. Don't touch hair until it's dry if air drying.

My oldest daughter used to have super long hair, the best thing I found for detangling and smoothing her hair was aussie hair defence, I use it on mine too, it smells amazing and made detangling so much easier after washing. I honestly do recommend combing/brushing through the conditioner when applying to help, I've been using the wet brush shower detangler I bought my son for his curls and its made brushing mine after I get out so much easier too

It's been a while of experimentation but thought I'd come back to update for others following this thread! The solution recommended on here that seems to work for us, is a shampoo for greasy hair on the roots only, then conditioner for dry, frizzy hair only on the mid-lengths to tips. We've also found if we plait DD's hair when wet, the result is gorgeous frizz-free waves, even without product. Thank you so much to everyone who replied to suggest there could be a curly element to her hair, it turns out you were right and it has been really helpful!

Ah that's great OP, glad you managed to find a solution! And I'm very jealous that your DD can achieve frizz-free waves just from plaiting - lucky girl 😁