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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report my mum to her Housing association for antisocial behaviour

45 replies

CrossingBoundaries007 · 05/09/2023 04:44

For lighting several small candles in her housing association flat?

I'm considering calling the police as the Gp can't help and neither can the housing association. She needs to be put back on her medication asap.

To Offer a bit of context my mum suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and hoarding for over 17 years. Around 7 years ago after years of treatment she got discharged and was free to chose whether to continue the treatment or not and we decided she had a good enough support system and she no longer needed all the medication.

She quickly became happy and healthy and all was well. She made friends spent time with her grandchildren etc.

Fast forward to last year, she started displaying signs of relapse and this year she has become increasingly unwell but she doesn't realise it. I called her GP to explain but there is not much they can do. Her symptoms include:

Lighting candles around the house to ward off spirits

Placing garlic around the home to ward of evil spirits

She thinks her home is being visited while she's away so she carries all her food around in a large trolly to avoid poisoning.

She has been wearing the same clothes for months now, she washes then and wears them damp

She has become very thin, lost approximately 15kg

Gives away all her money but can still handle her affairs to an extent.

OP posts:
Debini · 05/09/2023 04:47

I understand you’re worried but what good would reporting her to the HA do? They could try and evict her.

Mammma91 · 05/09/2023 04:50

OP I’m so sorry. Could you phone 111 and speak to the mental health department and ask for urgent care advice, as they may be able to contact police for a welfare benefit and they can then offer more of a logical solution, whilst also contacting the housing authority to make them aware of the dangers? This must be incredibly stressful for you. I cannot stress it enough as I’ve watched a family member in the thick of a mental health crisis, but you absolutely must look after your own well-being too in amongst this.

Original poster
CrossingBoundaries007 · 05/09/2023 04:50

Thank you for your reply, now I think I should contact the police. I just want to ensure she gets the help she needs.

OP posts:
Mammma91 · 05/09/2023 04:50

Welfare check, not welfare benefit. Sorry!

HoppingPavlova · 05/09/2023 04:52

I appreciate your mum has a medical issue, and this is your underlying concern. However, what has this to do with the HA, and what are you going to describe as antisocial behaviour, as people without this medical issue light candles at time, surely? I’m not downplaying her illness, but as far as HA and antisocial behaviour, this is not exactly in the league of banging on neo ours windows and threatening to kill them.

Hufflemuff · 05/09/2023 04:54

Sorry to hear this OP. Those things she is doing must be heartbreaking to witness.

I don't know why the housing association would get cross/intervene with her having candles in her flat? I know most HA tenants have candles and it's not a problem.

Also not sure if its just the HA I have dealt with (when complaining about a neighbour leaving our communal car park in a state - mix of HA and purchased homes) but unless you are also a HA Tennant, you cannot complain about someone who is. Ie: if I was a HA Tennant and so was my neighbours, I could complain to HA about them. However, as I'm not a HA member, I can't complain. Sounds stupid doesn't it!

I hope you get the things you need sorted ❤

Original poster
CrossingBoundaries007 · 05/09/2023 04:57

Anyone who lives in the building is at risk as there are over 4-8 exposed candles lit in a single room at any given time.

Her neighbours are at risk if a fire breaks out as she lives in an apartment

OP posts:
WhichEllie · 05/09/2023 04:57

Is her home currently hoarded? If so that makes a lot of difference in terms of how urgent/serious the candle issue is.

Rainallnight · 05/09/2023 04:59

Was she previously under the care of a community mental health team? That would seem like a better route to go down. The HA are unlikely to be able to do anything constructive or helpful with this info.

Original poster
CrossingBoundaries007 · 05/09/2023 05:00

No she's stopped hoarding in her own home, she brings stuff to my home and my sisters home and expects us to find space for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrossingBoundaries007 · 05/09/2023 05:02

Yes she was, I can't seem to get hold of them I probably need to find out where they've moved to.

OP posts:
Mammma91 · 05/09/2023 05:17

Phone out of hours OP, if you can get a welfare check and police listen and witness to the way she is behaving, they have authority to section her under the mental health act. Especially carrying her food around, which will go off if it’s fresh and not stored appropriately.

I fully understand your worry and concerns, sometimes it’s cruel to be kind and do what you feel is in the best interest of your mum and everyone surrounding her. You are well within your rights to express a need for a welfare check and take some of the immense pressure your feeling off.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 05/09/2023 05:31

I work in a HA OP and am a specialist lead on safeguarding for multiple HA and councils - most HA now have similar set ups, does your HA have a crisis team/well-being team?

if your unsure speak to your Mums housing area coordinator who will advise if they have a team who can assist you with this, they will likely request a home visit and assess the situation.

if they don’t, request to speak to the crisis team within your local council they should be able to assist with advise or hopefully be able to refer for additional supportive care.

junbean · 05/09/2023 05:35

schizophrenics cannot go off meds. Why would that decision be made to begin with? It’s not curable. She needs better healthcare, not law enforcement.

SorrowsPrayers · 05/09/2023 06:05

Contact Social Services....can't see what this has to do with the police.

BurntoutGP · 05/09/2023 06:22

Hi. There is a lot a GP can do. Do they fully understand that she was well and now has relapsed? She clearly needs to be back on medication again and lacks insight. Any relative has the right to request a mental health act assessment which will mean a team coming to the house to assess her mental health. Call the GP again and emphasise that she is unwell and is showing behaviours that put her at a risk to herself including lighting candles, not eating, self neglect.
Insist on an urgent referral to the mental health team. If you look up the local mental health team online they sometimes have a crisis number which can bypass the GP. Keep pushing- that is the system you need not the housing association.

PurpleNebula84 · 05/09/2023 06:26

Police only have the power if she is outside of her home... There is no power inside her home.

Op should go back to GP and contact community mental health team or Crisis team - the biggest concern is the loss of weight - if she's not eating then she is already causing harm to herself.

The GP should be doing more OP... Don't let them fob you off. Your mum currently has no insight to her deterioration.

Blueblell · 05/09/2023 06:30

I would avoid reporting her to the housing association- you don’t want her to be evicted. Is there a mental health crisis team in your area that you can contact. If they could see her quickly it could get the ball rolling with extra support.

Blueblell · 05/09/2023 06:36

It is common in Schizophrenia for delusions around evil spirits but what stands out is the belief her food is being poisoned. If it is preventing her from eating then she will deteriorate physically and mentally very quickly. She may need to be admitted.

PurpleNebula84 · 05/09/2023 06:36

OP, I forgot to say... If you ring your local Adult Social Services team, you have the right to ask (as a close relative) for a mental health act assessment. That could also be an option.

HoppingPavlova · 05/09/2023 06:48

Yep, a Welfare check and getting in touch with community mental health team providing relevant background and indicating there is potentially a crisis would be the best ways to go. These have powers to act directly if they feel there is a need.

Willmafrockfit · 05/09/2023 06:59

i think you should contact her cpn

Unicorntastic · 05/09/2023 07:10

How stressful/worrying for you, please don’t call police, it’s nothing to do with them at this stage and is a waste of their time and people wonder why they are so stretched.

Flowers94 · 05/09/2023 07:12

Does she have some type of support from the housing association? I work for a HA who house people similar to your mum and we do one on one support with them weekly.
we would always take concerns from family members seriously as you know her best and can often see signs of a relapse before a member of staff would.
this wouldn’t classify as antisocial behaviour in my setting of work though, this would be a safeguarding concern.
maybe a staff member from her HA could give you some contacts or get some extra support for your mum

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